Adoption Q2

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Member since 5/05

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Name:
Donna

Re: Adoption Q2

Posted by Redhead

Posted by dm24angel

I think over 18 they should have some rights...
only because from everything I have ever heard, seen, or people known, I have never seen a person ( an adoptee) NOT want to know their natural parents , so while there may not be a right time, certaintly not while the child is still young, the chances the adult at 18 will not want to know their birth parents is rare

But that is exactly why i wrote what i did....i do NOT think a birth parent should try to get in contact UNLESS the child initiates it!

I am SURE there are adopted kids out there that have no interest in meeting their natural parents. And i think it is their right NOT TO.

Im sure their are children who dont want to meet their natural mom/dad...but again from my experience that is very rare, and I think the parents have some rights to seek out the kids once they are adults. They have to be prepared for rejection, but an adoptive parent should prepare their child for the future when a parent may want contact with them...

Again, Theres no right or wrong here, Thats just my opinion. I Do though think as a child, an adoptee should NEVER be contacted by the biologicalparent, EVER if its a closed adoption.

Posted 7/14/05 6:54 PM

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Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

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Name:
Jennifer

Re: Adoption Q2

Well i was talking about a closed adoption not open ones. I think open adoptions it is IMPLIED that some contact might occur.

Posted 7/14/05 7:09 PM

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heidla
Me and the guys

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Heidi

Re: Adoption Q2

Not all people who put their children up for adoption do it because they don't want their children. Adoption is often the best future that parents can offer their child and ultimately a very selfless act. I can understand these parents wanting to make sure that their child is well taken care of and happy.

Now, the situation you described the child is obviously not ready or just does not want contact. The parent should back off until the child decides they are ready. That time may or may not come, but they parent needs to be able to live with the child's decision.

Posted 7/14/05 7:12 PM

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dm24angel
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Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Adoption Q2

Posted by Redhead

Well i was talking about a closed adoption not open ones. I think open adoptions it is IMPLIED that some contact might occur.

i know....Im saying I think "maybe" over 18 as an adult the parent( biological) has a right...BUT then since I dont know much about the process/feelings...I think that a "right" is too strong a word.. I think they should be able to explore the possibility and act on it...I dont know if I would want someone saying its their right because who makes that decision ya know??

Yet I dont think from what I know, that a young adult can make the decision of seeking out a biological parent as they often feel like they are unwanted....(some do anyway) and they would not take that first step, whereas the natural parent might and a great opportunity for all to grow and feel better comes from it.

Maybe that will explain more what Im thinking about all this.

Posted 7/14/05 7:16 PM

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Giannas-mama
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Member since 5/05

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Name:
Nicole

Re: Adoption Q2

Posted by heidla

Not all people who put their children up for adoption do it because they don't want their children. Adoption is often the best future that parents can offer their child and ultimately a very selfless act. I can understand these parents wanting to make sure that their child is well taken care of and happy.

Now, the situation you described the child is obviously not ready or just does not want contact. The parent should back off until the child decides they are ready. That time may or may not come, but they parent needs to be able to live with the child's decision.

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