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MarathonKnitter
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should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
today is SO's mother's birthday. she's 73.
on wednesday, i sent the entire family (SO's grown children) a text letting them know what the plan was for today. they have yet to respond if they are joining us or not.
friday evening i was told that the grandkids have planned to take her to breakfast to celebrate... just the grandkids. SO and i are not invited.
they all very well know that our plans are to be somewhere at 1030am.
it's 837am, she's been up for an hour and a half and is starting to say that she's hungry.
should i send a text letting them know she's hungry and i'm debating to give her something more substantial than just a cup a coffee?
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Posted 4/17/16 11:39 AM  |
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Maybe there was just a misunderstanding, meaning that the grandchildren planned to take her out before you sent the text with the plans. Were plans discussed with everyone?
Perhaps you can send a text and just say, "Hey, were you still going to breakfast this morning?" Find out what their plans are and then proceed accordingly. I woudn't do anything to make the situation more complicated.
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| Posted 4/17/16 11:44 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
lol problem solved.
while i was in the bathroom, she used her walker... got herself to the kitchen and she ate something.
oh, well.
i tried.
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| Posted 4/17/16 12:01 PM |
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nrthshgrl
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Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Im just curious, how long have you been with SO?
I was thinking, it should really be him sending the text to his kids.
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| Posted 4/17/16 12:12 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Im just curious, how long have you been with SO?
I was thinking, it should really be him sending the text to his kids.
we've been together a little over a year.
he was still asleep when she was starting to complain about being hungry.
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| Posted 4/17/16 12:15 PM |
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blessedmama
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Heather`
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Did they ever come by to bring her to breakfast?
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| Posted 4/17/16 1:17 PM |
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Katareen
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Katherine
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Im just curious, how long have you been with SO?
I was thinking, it should really be him sending the text to his kids.
I agree--his mother, his kids, his issue to deal with!!
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| Posted 4/17/16 3:16 PM |
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stinger
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by nrthshgrl
Im just curious, how long have you been with SO?
I was thinking, it should really be him sending the text to his kids.
I agree--his mother, his kids, his issue to deal with!!
I agree not together long enough and not married so he should have dealt with his kids and mother. It is very kind of you to plan for her bday though!
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| Posted 4/17/16 7:22 PM |
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bunnyluck
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should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Def not. Wake him up and have him deal. Glad she took matters into her own hands though!
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| Posted 4/17/16 7:55 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
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Me
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by nrthshgrl
Im just curious, how long have you been with SO?
I was thinking, it should really be him sending the text to his kids.
I agree--his mother, his kids, his issue to deal with!!
Yes this. I wouldn't touch this situation lol
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| Posted 4/17/16 8:13 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by blessedmama
Did they ever come by to bring her to breakfast?
they came by at about 10am and then they sat around for about 10 minutes before they even said happy birthday to the old lady.
one of the kids asked her if she was hungry because they were taking her to breakfast. she said, "no. i already fed myself. i know how to eat." since her last stroke, she tends to be a little blunt with her words lol.
we eventually took her to the gardens and to a late lunch/ early dinner. sadly, again, since the last stroke, she doesn't have the love for plants and flowers like she used to.
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| Posted 4/17/16 9:48 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
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Jenn
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
I hesitated to respond to this because I have been trying to figure out how to word this without sounding harsh, because that is not my intent. I think it's very sweet of you to make plans for SO's mother's birthday. With that said, I think you need to put some things into perspective. You have only been together for 1 year and you are not married. That's a very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. To the grandchildren, you are not a "step" anything yet. My personal opinion is that SO's grown children didn't respond to your text on Wednesday because it shouldn't have come from you in the first place. You're essentially telling these grown adults what the plan is for THEIR grandmother's birthday. I think you may want to leave these kinds of things up to SO in the future. It's his mother, his children, and while it's very sweet of you to take the reins and be involved, it's still very early in the relationship to be playing the "mom" or "step mom" role to his children. They may really like you and you may have a great relationship with them in general...but something like this could be a touchy area and it may cause issues if you don't respect boundaries. Especially since they are not young children - they are grown and they don't need to be told. And If they do, it needs to come from dad.
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| Posted 4/18/16 9:25 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
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MrsDrMatt
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I hesitated to respond to this because I have been trying to figure out how to word this without sounding harsh, because that is not my intent. I think it's very sweet of you to make plans for SO's mother's birthday. With that said, I think you need to put some things into perspective. You have only been together for 1 year and you are not married. That's a very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. To the grandchildren, you are not a "step" anything yet. My personal opinion is that SO's grown children didn't respond to your text on Wednesday because it shouldn't have come from you in the first place. You're essentially telling these grown adults what the plan is for THEIR grandmother's birthday. I think you may want to leave these kinds of things up to SO in the future. It's his mother, his children, and while it's very sweet of you to take the reins and be involved, it's still very early in the relationship to be playing the "mom" or "step mom" role to his children. They may really like you and you may have a great relationship with them in general...but something like this could be a touchy area and it may cause issues if you don't respect boundaries. Especially since they are not young children - they are grown and they don't need to be told. And If they do, it needs to come from dad.
You read my mind....
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| Posted 4/18/16 10:50 AM |
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twobabies
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Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
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Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I hesitated to respond to this because I have been trying to figure out how to word this without sounding harsh, because that is not my intent. I think it's very sweet of you to make plans for SO's mother's birthday. With that said, I think you need to put some things into perspective. You have only been together for 1 year and you are not married. That's a very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. To the grandchildren, you are not a "step" anything yet. My personal opinion is that SO's grown children didn't respond to your text on Wednesday because it shouldn't have come from you in the first place. You're essentially telling these grown adults what the plan is for THEIR grandmother's birthday. I think you may want to leave these kinds of things up to SO in the future. It's his mother, his children, and while it's very sweet of you to take the reins and be involved, it's still very early in the relationship to be playing the "mom" or "step mom" role to his children. They may really like you and you may have a great relationship with them in general...but something like this could be a touchy area and it may cause issues if you don't respect boundaries. Especially since they are not young children - they are grown and they don't need to be told. And If they do, it needs to come from dad.
BINGO!!!
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| Posted 4/18/16 1:04 PM |
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Re: should i say something... or would i come across as the wicked step-monster?
Posted by twobabies
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I hesitated to respond to this because I have been trying to figure out how to word this without sounding harsh, because that is not my intent. I think it's very sweet of you to make plans for SO's mother's birthday. With that said, I think you need to put some things into perspective. You have only been together for 1 year and you are not married. That's a very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. To the grandchildren, you are not a "step" anything yet. My personal opinion is that SO's grown children didn't respond to your text on Wednesday because it shouldn't have come from you in the first place. You're essentially telling these grown adults what the plan is for THEIR grandmother's birthday. I think you may want to leave these kinds of things up to SO in the future. It's his mother, his children, and while it's very sweet of you to take the reins and be involved, it's still very early in the relationship to be playing the "mom" or "step mom" role to his children. They may really like you and you may have a great relationship with them in general...but something like this could be a touchy area and it may cause issues if you don't respect boundaries. Especially since they are not young children - they are grown and they don't need to be told. And If they do, it needs to come from dad.
BINGO!!!
I agree with this too.
I understand a lot of men let the women in their lives make the plans, my SO does that too sometimes, but he consults me and then speaks to whoever he needs to speak with. I don't deal with his family or friends when it is something of theirs to do.
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| Posted 4/18/16 5:38 PM |
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