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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
A friend is getting married this summer. When he attended my wedding (with his now fiancé) almost 6 years ago, he gave us $50. Our wedding was a Saturday night. He's getting married on Sunday during the morning/afternoon. I want to give $100, but DH wants to give more. Thoughts?
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Posted 4/8/16 5:15 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
dadof1
LIF Infant
Member since 8/14 208 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
Payback is a b!tch! At my wedding years ago, I had a few friends give gifts, not cash...so when these friends were getting married I gave them material gifts. What you want to give is perfect. Its double what he gave considering inflation...don't give it a second thought...
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| Posted 4/8/16 5:22 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Give whatever you're comfortable giving. 
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| Posted 4/8/16 5:31 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
If it's your friend and not DH's then you get to decide what to give. And under these circumstances, I think $100 is sufficient.
Message edited 4/8/2016 5:44:53 PM.
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| Posted 4/8/16 5:44 PM |
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OhBoyorGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/12 1789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Idk, 6 years is a long time. If that's your only reason for wanting to give less than what your DH would like to give, I'd honestly reconsider. Circumstances change, people mature.....
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| Posted 4/8/16 7:24 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2912 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I think I would give my standard gift.
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| Posted 4/8/16 7:36 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7635 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I'd give more. A lot of my friends did not give big gifts, but everyone was just starting out and had never been to a wedding. I wouldn't hold it against them.
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| Posted 4/8/16 8:03 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
Maybe 50 bucks was all he could give at the time? A lot changes over 6 years and I would probably give more.
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| Posted 4/8/16 8:08 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I'd give $51, hey u gotta be the bigger person 
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| Posted 4/8/16 9:23 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
In this case, I personally would give 150 if I knew that the person could have afforded more than 50 at the time and just cheaped out-- I would give 100. =)
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| Posted 4/8/16 11:42 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
In this case, I personally would give 150 if I knew that the person could have afforded more than 50 at the time and just cheaped out-- I would give 100. =)
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| Posted 4/8/16 11:43 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I think $100 is fine
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| Posted 4/8/16 11:43 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by OhBoyorGirl
Idk, 6 years is a long time. If that's your only reason for wanting to give less than what your DH would like to give, I'd honestly reconsider. Circumstances change, people mature.....
ITA.
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| Posted 4/9/16 12:18 AM |
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angelicd77
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 794 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by OhBoyorGirl
Idk, 6 years is a long time. If that's your only reason for wanting to give less than what your DH would like to give, I'd honestly reconsider. Circumstances change, people mature.....
ITA.
This exactly
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| Posted 4/9/16 8:52 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I would give what you can. I don't like to live by the give what they gave rule. Maybe it was at a time when he was struggling, or maybe he just didn't know. You never know but if you can be more generous or you know better why do that? Two wrongs don't make it right IMO.
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| Posted 4/9/16 9:39 AM |
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I would just give what I normally give and have done so under the same circumstances.
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| Posted 4/9/16 9:48 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I would give what my normal gift would be. I don't do tit for tat. IMO it's childish and I don't even know what people gave me years ago.
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| Posted 4/9/16 10:22 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by Budjeg11
In this case, I personally would give 150 if I knew that the person could have afforded more than 50 at the time and just cheaped out-- I would give 100. =)
I agree, if I knew he was cheap with me even though he could afford it, I would probably give a little less. But if he was just young and starting out, maybe that's all he could afford at the time. I wouldn't hold it against him.
I do agree with another post too, maybe he had never been to a big wedding and just didn't know he was being kinda cheap. If you don't know for a fact that he was cheap with you on purpose, I would be the bigger person and give more.
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| Posted 4/9/16 10:34 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by alli3131
I would give what my normal gift would be. I don't do tit for tat. IMO it's childish and I don't even know what people gave me years ago.
It's funny because DH and I can't remember the really nice gifts or the average gifts. We definitely don't keep track because we hate the tit for tat. But we do remember the whole table of 8 (all adults 20 yrs old and older) that gave us 1 check for $75. The gift was really just from my aunt ... the rest of them just scribbled their names on the bottom of her card. I also remember who didn't give a gift at all, not even a card. Those are the only ones I would be petty (and I know ... childish) with lol.
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| Posted 4/9/16 10:46 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I would give what I give at all weddings I attend no matter location time etc. $75-$100 per person.
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| Posted 4/9/16 10:50 AM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by alli3131
I would give what my normal gift would be. I don't do tit for tat. IMO it's childish and I don't even know what people gave me years ago.
As usual, I agree!
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| Posted 4/9/16 11:48 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I think $100 is fine. I think $50 is fine. And if he notices, I would think he would remember and know why you chose that amount. I had some of DH's friends give us absolutely nothing for our wedding. Not even a card. If they get married and invite us, I'd have no problem giving them just a small token gift.
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| Posted 4/9/16 12:25 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
In 6 years a lot can happen. You may think you know what his financial status was at that moment but you don't ever really. There are very few people I go tit for tat with. I would give what I usually give at any wedding depending on my budget.
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| Posted 4/9/16 12:59 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by Chai77
I think $100 is fine. I think $50 is fine. And if he notices, I would think he would remember and know why you chose that amount. I had some of DH's friends give us absolutely nothing for our wedding. Not even a card. If they get married and invite us, I'd have no problem giving them just a small token gift.
I agree completely.
Even if he wasn't fully aware at the time of what the norm amount is to give at weddings, he would have had to guess it's more than $50... sounds like he was being cheap & honestly I think it's disrespectful to attend a fancy reception & give that little or nothing at all (I had quite a few people do this to us). $50 is a nice gift if you decline only.
The most I think I'd give in your situation is $150, if you feel like being extra generous. But $100 is totally fine.
A friend came to my wedding (which cost over $100 a head), brought a guest (not even her bf, she brought a female friend) and gave $25 in an envelope... she ended up having a small destination wedding for family only, so I did not get to return the favor when it was her turn, but you better believe if she'd had a regular wedding & I'd been invited, she'd be getting that same $25 back.
Message edited 4/9/2016 1:50:45 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/16 1:50 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Given the history, I'd give 100 or 150.
Message edited 4/9/2016 3:26:00 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/16 3:25 PM |
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