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pjt212301
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1215 total posts
Name:
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Remembering a parent
My ex-dh, the father of my two daughters passed away on January 1 from lung cancer. On February 6th there is going to be a memorial service for him and I am trying to think of something to do to, at the memorial service, to remember him with my girls. I thought of bringing pictures but that doesn't feel like enough. Any suggestions?
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Posted 1/21/16 9:37 AM  |
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ineedababynow
LIF Infant
Member since 9/15 328 total posts
Name:
ap
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Re: Remembering a parent
I'm so sorry for your loss. How old are your girls?
We have done in the past the chinese lanterns or balloons. My kids love doing them both.
Write a message on a balloon or draw a picture, something like that.
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| Posted 1/21/16 9:48 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Remembering a parent
Lantern release. You can light it, attach letters to him and release them.
Same for balloons but I don't like the balloon idea bc of the environmental factor and danger to animals.
Video montage
Writing letters to him and reading them at the service
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| Posted 1/21/16 9:49 AM |
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pjt212301
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1215 total posts
Name:
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Remembering a parent
My girls are 14 and 16.
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| Posted 1/21/16 9:52 AM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Remembering a parent
Posted by pjt212301
My girls are 14 and 16.
I really feel for them, I'm so sorry! There's nothing worse than losing a parent 
How about asking them to write a letter, mentioning everything they liked about him, anecdotes, even silly memories, and giving them the option of reading them out loud?
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| Posted 1/21/16 10:10 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Remembering a parent
I agree with a reading - perhaps a poem?
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| Posted 1/21/16 10:12 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Remembering a parent
Your daughters can light a candle in his memory.
I had ordered a personalized one for my wedding to honor my mom.
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| Posted 1/21/16 11:07 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Remembering a parent
This is the poem I read at my mothers funeral. You could change the she to he. It's a beautiful poem.
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
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| Posted 1/21/16 11:09 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Remembering a parent
Posted by SusiBee
Your daughters can light a candle in his memory.
I had ordered a personalized one for my wedding to honor my mom.
We did this at our wedding too. Ordered from etsy.
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| Posted 1/21/16 11:12 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Remembering a parent
I would ask his close friends and family members to write down a few memories they have of your ex and copies of any pictures they have that might be special. I would also ask your daughters to write down a few special memories as well. I would then put it all together in a Photo book - like what you can create on mixbook.com and have one printed out for each of them, and if you are still close with his parents maybe one for them as well. My sister in law did this for my MILs 70th birthday and it came out awesome.
My dad passed away when I was 22 and I thought about asking people to write down memories while they were still fresh but I never did. It's one of my biggest regrets to this day. Anyway, if you could have it done in time for the memorial you could display it, although it would probably be hard to get it done in time.
So sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/21/16 11:45 AM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Remembering a parent
Posted by pjt212301
My girls are 14 and 16.
I would ask them if there was anything that THEY wanted to do.
My mother died when I was 17 (Also, on a January 1st.)
No offense to anyone here but the last thing I wanted to do was to give a speech or write down memories and send them up into the sky.
At that age I just wanted to go home and curl up under the covers and for everyone to leave me alone.
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| Posted 1/21/16 11:52 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Remembering a parent
I'm so sorry
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| Posted 1/21/16 11:53 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Remembering a parent
I like to think of ways to 'pay it forward' in the deceased's name by doing something special for someone else in need. For example, if he loved to read you could consider donating a few books to a school in his name. If you choose to do something like this they could share a memory of him reading them bed time stories (or whatever special thing you determine) and your plan to keep that alive by donating books to X school.
Sorry to you and your girls for your loss!
Message edited 1/21/2016 12:10:32 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/16 12:10 PM |
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pjt212301
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1215 total posts
Name:
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Remembering a parent
Thank you all for the suggestions. This has been so hard for us
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| Posted 1/21/16 2:37 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Remembering a parent
I am so sorry for your, and their loss.
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| Posted 1/21/16 7:27 PM |
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FranM
And so it goes....
Member since 9/05 2217 total posts
Name:
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Re: Remembering a parent
I'm sorry for your loss.
I would definitely let the girls decide. Give them some ideas but follow their lead. My DH passed 13 mos ago. My Son wasn't up to and still isn't up to doing anything publicly.
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| Posted 1/21/16 7:31 PM |
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Jennifer
Happy
Member since 5/05 4230 total posts
Name:
.
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Re: Remembering a parent
First of all I am sorry for your loss.
If you are doing a memorial... Maybe giving close family white flowers and giving everyone else another color that you choose at the memorial/graveside.
Again, sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/21/16 7:54 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Remembering a parent
Posted by Blazesyth
Posted by pjt212301
My girls are 14 and 16.
I would ask them if there was anything that THEY wanted to do.
My mother died when I was 17 (Also, on a January 1st.)
No offense to anyone here but the last thing I wanted to do was to give a speech or write down memories and send them up into the sky.
At that age I just wanted to go home and curl up under the covers and for everyone to leave me alone.
My father passed away when I was 15 and ITA with this.
I just wanted to be alone or with friends.
We didn't have a "memorial service" other than the the typical wake and funeral but if we did anything I did would have been private for sure.
Present them with all the options listed here and leave it up to them.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/21/16 8:08 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Re: Remembering a parent
Posted by lululu
I would ask his close friends and family members to write down a few memories they have of your ex and copies of any pictures they have that might be special. I would also ask your daughters to write down a few special memories as well. I would then put it all together in a Photo book - like what you can create on mixbook.com and have one printed out for each of them, and if you are still close with his parents maybe one for them as well. My sister in law did this for my MILs 70th birthday and it came out awesome.
My dad passed away when I was 22 and I thought about asking people to write down memories while they were still fresh but I never did. It's one of my biggest regrets to this day. Anyway, if you could have it done in time for the memorial you could display it, although it would probably be hard to get it done in time.
So sorry for your loss.
TO the OP -- I am so sorry for your family's loss.
I lost my father a few weeks ago on 1/1/16 and we are having a memorial service for him next month-- I love the ideas of his friends and family writing down their favorite memory of him... I think I will do that!
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:20 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Remembering a parent
Posted by Blazesyth
Posted by pjt212301
My girls are 14 and 16.
I would ask them if there was anything that THEY wanted to do.
My mother died when I was 17 (Also, on a January 1st.)
No offense to anyone here but the last thing I wanted to do was to give a speech or write down memories and send them up into the sky.
At that age I just wanted to go home and curl up under the covers and for everyone to leave me alone.
I agree with this. Ask them if they would like to do or say something at the service, but don't pressure them to if they don't feel up to it. At my moms funeral, there was no way I would have been able to compose myself enough to say or read anything in front of everyone. My dad understood thankfully. He read something he wrote about her, and I stood next to him while he read it. That was the most I felt up to on the day of the funeral. But I did put together a picture collage to display at the wake. Your girl's might like that. That way they can reminisce about their dad in privacy, while making a beautiful tribute to him.
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| Posted 1/22/16 5:20 AM |
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