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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I received an email from MIL asking for Christmas gift ideas for the family (ok, cool). But then she continued by giving gift ideas for her and FIL including "joint gifts" and "individual gifts". She gave specific ideas for herself and that if we wanted to get individual gifts for FIL he asks that we email him.
There's just something about this that makes me  I mean, Christmas is inevitable and of course we'll be buying them something. But I never state my requests unless asked. My email would be asking what someone would like and leave it at that. Then if they reply by asking for ideas for myself then I'd give them.
Maybe I'm wrong but I sort of seeing a grown adult giving ideas of what they want for Christmas without being asked first a little "eh." But would expect it from say, a 10 year old.
So, is it ok to do this? Just wondering.
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Posted 11/22/15 11:55 AM  |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
For my family it's fairly normal and very welcomed. I wish they'd all tell me what they want so I don't have to go crazy trying to figure out the 'perfect gift'. My mom will often tell me, unsolicited "I need a new pair or black leather gloves" or "I'd really like a new sweater/earrings/etc". My dad on occasion will ask for something too.
It seems your in-laws took it a little further but it still wouldn't bother me, as long as the gifts are in the price range that you intend to spend. I hate trying to buy people gifts though, so that might skew my answer!
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| Posted 11/22/15 11:59 AM |
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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I have no problem with the ideas themselves, they are within price range. But they are coming here for a week arriving today and I planned to ask them during their visit. The email was sent yesterday to us and brother in laws family so I was more like "um, ok..." Because we are going to see them and could discussed in person.
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| Posted 11/22/15 12:03 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Maybe because she sent it to bil she figured she'd include you to just in case you need to refer back to it in the future. If you ask her every year what she wants for xmas then no I see nothing wrong with her telling you without you asking.
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| Posted 11/22/15 12:15 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I would rather give ideas and get things I want rather than having stuff I don't want. I'm all for it.
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| Posted 11/22/15 1:14 PM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name:
nicole
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by alli3131
I would rather give ideas and get things I want rather than having stuff I don't want. I'm all for it.
Same here
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| Posted 11/22/15 1:24 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7635 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
This is what my family does. I prefer this over getting junk that I do not need or want.
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| Posted 11/22/15 1:28 PM |
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by alli3131
I would rather give ideas and get things I want rather than having stuff I don't want. I'm all for it.
Ditto
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| Posted 11/22/15 1:33 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I prefer this especially if you typically buy for them. Saves the trouble of all the back and forth.
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| Posted 11/22/15 1:39 PM |
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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I'm completely ok with someone telling me what they want or need. But I guess i thought maybe they should have waited til we asked what they would like. I guess I see it more like "hey buy me presents". Just say budget was too tight and we could only afford the children this year. But they already stated what they wanted. It sort of comes off that they are expecting gifts, no?
But like I said, I'm all for the ideas. I just think people should wait til they are asked what they want. Oh well. At least I know what to get them.
eta maybe I would have said "if you need ideas for us let us know and we can give you some"... Kwim?
Message edited 11/22/2015 1:43:17 PM.
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| Posted 11/22/15 1:39 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Yes, I do find it tacky, and presumptuous. Don't tell me what you want unless I ask and who says I'm buying you a present anyway! Lol
It's one thing if you asked what they wanted, but to just offer the information? That's off-putting to me. I would be annoyed if my MIL or anyone sent me an email like that.
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| Posted 11/22/15 4:09 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
Yes, I do find it tacky, and presumptuous. Don't tell me what you want unless I ask and who says I'm buying you a present anyway! Lol
It's one thing if you asked what they wanted, but to just offer the information? That's off-putting to me. I would be annoyed if my MIL or anyone sent me an email like that.
I agree. Tell them you don't wear a red suit and live in the North Pole.
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| Posted 11/22/15 4:30 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I appreciate gift lists. I would much rather get something that will be enjoyed, and lists are the norm in our family.
Also, it's not as if it's a third cousin sending you a list..
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| Posted 11/22/15 4:47 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
What's the big deal? Just makes your life easier. Not worth getting upset over, you don't HAVE to buy anything from it. I'm guessing she just thought it would be helpful to you. I wish my parents and inlaws would give me a list, they are IMPOSSIBLE to shop for.
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| Posted 11/22/15 11:46 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22150 total posts
Name:
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Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I received an email from a family member that went out to a few people and it had what the kids wanted (great, that helps) and then what the adults wanted (gc for dooney and burke, restaurants) and I will admit, I was like, seriously? To me, I think it's a bit ballsy to tell someone what the adults want unless otherwise asked.
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| Posted 11/23/15 5:06 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I don't think it is tacky. She knows you will be getting her a gift and is just trying to make things easier. I might consider it tacky if it was someone you normally don't exchange gifts with.
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| Posted 11/23/15 9:42 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Eh, it kinda rubs me the wrong way, too, but better this way than buying them a gift and having them return it for a paper shredder. 
ETA: I'm having a hard time telling my own MOTHER that I need something for Christmas. I feel like I'm an adult and should not have a "Christmas List." But I'm sure she would appreciate it in the long run.
Message edited 11/23/2015 10:01:01 AM.
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| Posted 11/23/15 9:59 AM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by alli3131
I would rather give ideas and get things I want rather than having stuff I don't want. I'm all for it.
Same here. Id rather that because my MIL is SOOOO hard to shop for Id rather know what she wants.
I prefer to get people things they want cause I want to get things I want. I honestly find it so annoying when someone gets me things I do not need or want with no gift receipt or from a store I don't shop. My sis in law is someone that always does this. She gets me things she would wear (and shes terribly tacky) and not what I would wear. Id much prefer if she would just ask me.
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| Posted 11/23/15 10:07 AM |
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h0peful2015
LIF Infant
Member since 8/15 265 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
It's one thing if you asked what they wanted, but to just offer the information? That's off-putting to me. I would be annoyed if my MIL or anyone sent me an email like that.
this.
i find it a little tacky.
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| Posted 11/23/15 11:00 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
My mom always does this. Has a specific list, with expensive things. Then doesn't ask what we want, or our kids. The best was she text messaged me last night, asking what I want. I message her back this morning, and she was like...well you didn't answer, already got you something! ha!
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| Posted 11/23/15 12:48 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by h0peful2015
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
It's one thing if you asked what they wanted, but to just offer the information? That's off-putting to me. I would be annoyed if my MIL or anyone sent me an email like that.
this.
i find it a little tacky.
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| Posted 11/23/15 12:58 PM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
Yes, I do find it tacky, and presumptuous. Don't tell me what you want unless I ask and who says I'm buying you a present anyway! Lol
It's one thing if you asked what they wanted, but to just offer the information? That's off-putting to me. I would be annoyed if my MIL or anyone sent me an email like that.
ITA!
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| Posted 11/23/15 1:56 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
assuming you exchange gifts every year, I wouldnt find it tacky. I would much rather get someone what they want.
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| Posted 11/23/15 2:29 PM |
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TheLorax
LOVE
Member since 2/06 5581 total posts
Name:
Suzanne / SuzBride
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
Posted by jams92
assuming you exchange gifts every year, I wouldnt find it tacky. I would much rather get someone what they want.
This! As long as the gift requests are reasonably priced, I would be happy to get the list!
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| Posted 11/23/15 2:33 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this tacky or no? RE: gift ideas
I guess I just don't get it. Among adults, if you're spending about the same on one another and you're asking for what you want, why not just agree that everyone gets themselves something?
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| Posted 11/23/15 8:41 PM |
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