Advice on tricky baby shower situation

My sister is expecting her first so she obviously needs all the basics. Problem is she just moved across the country away from our family and her husband's family. She doesn't think she'll be able to come back before the baby comes. Anyone have similar experience and what did you do? My mom mentioned the idea of a virtual shower which to me just sounds tacky (mailing an invite and a favor and they just send her a gift or something like that). I really think she should just come home for an actual shower and we can ask all gifts be shipped to her but still have a party to celebrate. What would you prefer or any other suggestions?

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I would think either she comes home for a shower and people send the gifts to her home and at the shower give a card and a pic of what they got or no shower.

What's the point? People would send gifts regardless and why have a virtual shower. Jmo

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I have had a few friends in that situation. Some did not have a shower at all. Most seem to have a small shower with new friends and their immediate family buys the big stuff off the registry.

I would not do a virtual shower and send a link to friends. that is tacky. She should make a registry of things she needs and people who want to buy for her can. i.e. mom, sisters, close friends.

eta. depending on how far they are and everyone's financial situation, maybe the family could go to her and throw the shower?

for a very good friend, i would travel for a shower. if not, i would send a gift. in this situation, i would not feel offended about getting a link to a registry.

Message edited 11/12/2015 9:48:32 AM.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

My little bro and SIL are stationed in VA. Our entire family is here in NY. My SILs mom sent out virtual baby shower invitations. Personally I think they are tacky but that's just me..

ETA: Is there any way for her to at least try to make it back here? If not I see no other way around it other than you spreading word of mouth where she is registered since family usually buys gifts anyway.

Message edited 11/12/2015 9:42:46 AM.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I have never heard of virtual baby showers, but they sound tacky IMO.

If she can't make it back before the baby is born, I would probably buy her the essentials - and then have a shower after the baby was born, so that she can get the rest of the items she will need.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

Would you be able to speak to her husband and see what he thinks? Also maybe if money is an object your family can chip in and buy the plane tickets to get here.

Message edited 11/12/2015 9:54:16 AM.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I think she either has to come back here, and do the shower very early on in her pregnancy, or no shower. A virtual shower is not a virtual shower - it's asking people to send gifts. I'm sure people will send gifts without a shower anyway.

I've been a few showers for people that live OOS and they included on the invite to please ship gifts.

It's a tricky situation. I know I would be very put off if I was sent an invite for a "virtual shower", unless it was for medical or military reasons or something like that.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

IMO, a virtual shower is asking for gifts without the personal interaction of an actual party.
When my GF's daughter was expecting her first, she lived out of state but came home from the shower. Big items were shipped directly to the house, and she also returned bulky items for store credit and then re-purchased once she got home.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

When is it typically safe to fly until? Part of the issue is they're still in the process of moving so the idea of booking a trip home before she even moves and they start working is tough. They're packing now and driving cross country next week

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

Skype?

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

Do not have a virtual shower.

If she can't make it back for a shower in person, don't have a shower.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I was living far away with my first. My dh's family gave me a small shower after the baby was born. It was really cute and then they got to meet the baby and spend time with her.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

IMO, she either comes here for an actual shower and it is requested that all presents be shipped to her home address or she doesn't have a shower and no presents are expected (I'm sure close family and friends will still send after baby is born). Don't do a virtual shower. So tacky.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I think if she creates a registry, many people will still want to send her a gift, even if she doesn't have a shower. People may ask if She has a registry.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

My brother and sister in law moved to Abu Dhabi a few months before she got pregnant with their first, she just simply didnt have a shower, my parents and I flew for the birth and brought lots of presents from here, but that was it.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I came home from NC to NY for my shower and we had the gifts shipped back to my house

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I'm not having a shower for my first (it's a religious thing) but I still need everything and expect I'll still receive all the gifts I'd get if I had a shower. While the idea of a shower is fun, if logistics make it nearly impossible, I think I would just skip it.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

Honestly I think a virtual shower is tacky. If people want to give a gift they would do it regardless of if there was a shower or not.

I live OOS and all friends/family are in NY. I made plans for a trip back and my family planned the shower for that weekend. People brought small gifts/card and shipped the big stuff to our home. It worked perfectly.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

Thanks everyone. Definitely confirms my feelings. I just really hope she can swing coming home for a shower at some point. I just think it would be sad not to get to celebrate the baby with our family like every other mom in the family has. Not to mention, she hasn't even gotten to see most of the family since becoming pregnant and likely won't see everyone for a while after having the baby. Hopefully she'll change her mind about coming home once they get settled.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I set up an oine shower for myself. Sent out invites and got all we needed.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

We just had the same situation with my cousin. She ended up coming home for Christmas so my aunt threw a very small, casual shower while she was here. She asked that the gifts be shipped and everyone understood. Most people did bring a little something to the shower though...books, PJs, etc.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

Is there anyway you and your mom go to her and maybe inlaws. If she can't travel , there is nothing stopping you guys and having small intimate luncheon. I moved out of state and I was always the one traveling home for stuff. Dont get me wrong i was very thankful but it was alot to travel home especially while pregnant.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

If the mom was going to throw her the shower the mom should just send her the money she would have spent on the shower. It's a good chunk of change and she should be able to buy all or most of the basics.

Re: Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I think I would just send a pregnancy announcement and have on it where she is registered.

Advice on tricky baby shower situation

I traveled home for my shower. My sister encouraged people to mail me large gifts so I did not have to lug them home.