Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Just to give you a little background, when I got married my sister created a lot of unnecessary drama and even dropped out of my bridal party as my MOH. I cried more about my sis during that time than anything else. We have since moved past that and when I became pregnant she was really excited and immediately said she was in charge of my shower. She talked to me about all of her ideas and said she would have my shower when I was around 71/2 months since she knew I wanted it early.

Fast forward to now - I am 27wks 3days and she has made no plans. People have started asked me about it bc some of my good friends and MIL want to be involved. I tried to ask her about it a couple times and she reponded, "god let me get pat the holidays 1st". I didnt want to be a pain so I let it go. So now a good friend from work has planned a shower at her place with only people from work for March 5th. She is having about 14 people from work. I would have only invited like 5 people from work due to cost and space issues so I think its really nice that I get to celebrate with all of these people. When I told my sis yesterday she had a heart attack and said how rude it was and that she should have been consulted 1st. I tried to talk to her about it last night and she gave me a lot of attitude and said I dont have to have my shower until the end of my 8th month and didnt want to talk about it. Im worried that this is going to be a repeat of my wedding stuff and I dont know how I should handle this. What would you do?

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

yikes....sounds like she's a tough cookie....how about having your mom mediate? she knew how you felt from the beginning so you have every right to be upset.

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

I'd give the responsiblity to someone else. I am having drama around my shower too and anyone who will make you worry about it is not doing their job. Just my opinion, but we r too pregnant to be stressning about all this. Tell her its now or never especially since you know she is drama anyways

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

I'm sorry! How close are you with your MIL, could you talk to her and tell her the situation or even just tell her that you aren't sure what's going on with the shower. Maybe your MIL can pull some rank on your sister and tell her she's going to start planning it since it's about that time?

Or are any of your friends close with your sister, maybe they can approach her in a nice way and ask her to get the details together so they can start planning or offer to plan if she doesn't have the time. They can approach it like they want to help her.

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Posted by windest

Posted by TiffanyM

yikes....sounds like she's a tough cookie....how about having your mom mediate? she knew how you felt from the beginning so you have every right to be upset.

Unfortunately we dont speak to our parents (whole other story) so my mother cant help with anything.

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

This is such an exciting time in your life and why she is getting you involved in all of this is ridiculous. It's a party in your honor!

As far as the work shower goes, one has nothing to do with the other. It's a nice gesture for your co-workers to do something for you, especially since they won't all be invited to your "real" shower. Why would they have to consult her? That's stupid and she should know that.

Do you have a mom, any other sisters or a BFF that can reel her in? If not, if your MIL has already expressed an interest in being involved, maybe she can call her and light the proverbial fire? Or maybe DH? It sounds like someone needs to either encourage her to get the ball rolling or set her straight and take the reins.

I also think that if you do find someone to talk to her, from there on out, you should just have no part of it. This is way too stressful for you to have to deal with and you shouldn't have to deal with it.

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Ack, that would upset me too! My mom wanted to plan my whole shower, and didn't do anything for it until the week before . A couple of months beforehand, I asked her if I could do the invites (something that I could do very easily since I have experience w/ computer programs) because I had a feeling she would do everything last minute. Mind you, my shower was at a house and I knew my mom had a LOT on her plate--so much in fact that I tried to convince her that throwing a shower was not a good idea. It was incredibly stressful for me. In the end, I just had to tell myself to let it go. Was it a "dream shower" to me, and did she ask me what I wanted at all? Not at all, but it was wonderful to be around family and friends that day .

Chat with your DH about it, I'm sure he knows the best why this is driving you crazy! DH was seriously my rock through the shower drama .

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

I say enlist MIL or even DH to step in and say something on your behalf. I am sorry you are dealing with this.

Just worry about doing your part, going to register and daydreaming what your baby is going to be like.
Relish in the fun and excitement of it all.

Don't let negativity win.....

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

Seriously i would just tell her she is off the hook & that you will handle your shower. Then speak to yourMom & MIL & whatever friends that are interested & put something nice together. Do you really need to go through this again?

Message edited 1/30/2011 10:37:14 AM.

Re: Baby shower drama need advice (long)

I would talk to DH and MIL and see what they think about it. Even if your MIL books the place, setting the date, and then tells your sister she is in charge of everything else, all other details, that might help and at least get the ball rolling.

I am so sorry that she is doing this again and making you stress or worry over it.