Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

ETA: Mom to be asked me to advise her. So the advice I am giving her, which will be limited, was solicited and asked for.

Much appreciate all the responses.


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Long story short she is preggs. I am throwing the baby shower.

Her mom is a bit of an a$$ and wrote an email about how F'ed up her registry was.

I need some advice so I can help. I don't have kids but, in the day, was VERY involved in kids products so have a better understanding of what she needs.

1. She registered for a "newborn" Boppy. I looked, Its ACTUALLY for newborns. She should switch to a "regular" Boppy right?

2. She registered for a nursing support. Its like a Boppy, but I assume, sturdier. She doesn't need both, correct?

3. She has the side snap (not crotch snap) onsies on her registry. Does anyone suggest she get the crotch snap?

4. She has a whole bunch of receiving blankets on there. I'm not sure she will use many. Should she remove?

5. She has an infant Robe. (Like for a bath). She isn't going to EVER use that, right?

6. She registered for 4 bay towels for after a bath (towel with hood). Will she use all of them?

7. She registered for infant mits (so they don't scratch their face). Will she use them???

8. It looks like she has the bugaboo stroller and registered for the attachments.

9. She has an infant car seat, and the "convertible" bigger kid car seat.
a. At what weight do they outgrow the infant car seat?
b. I know kids stay rear facing till 2 now. at ABOUT what age do the babies get to the weight they cant be in the infant carrier anymore? ABOUT 8mos or SO?
c. Is it worth asking for the convertible car seat now? In 8 months they might see something they like better?

10. Which leads me to: I assume its not REALLY worth it to register for the high chair and things like they? They wont use it for 6+ months, and that means they have to store it for 6+ months.

If anyone has suggestions for what to add I would be GRATEFUL. If you feel you had a great registry that really set you up for success and would share (via PM) I would also be grateful.

Message edited 10/6/2015 3:55:53 PM.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I don't think anything on the list is ridiculous. I use a TON of receiving blankets. My DD at 2 1/2 still uses them and uses like 3 a day.

Just tell her not to take the tags off anything so she can return what she doesn't end up using. Also, I probably wouldn't get too much of any one thing in case she or the baby don't like it. All babies are different though - so what works for some, may not work for others.

Some of the big items you don't need right away - but time goes really really fast and if someone wanted to get me a high chair, car seat, etc. I would be thrilled.

I would suggest a rock n play as that was super useful and a play mat is nice right away. Things like a swing/jumperoo/excersaucer come in handy before 6 months as well if you are looking to add big ticket items.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Every baby (and mom) is different...here is my opinion on the items in question based on my experience with 2 kids. But as the previous poster mentioned...just tell her not to tag tags off/wash things and she can return them anytime for a store credit. And if people have a problem with her registry that do not need to buy her anything from it! they can get a gift card or even an outfit, so she should be able to put what she wants.

1. She registered for a "newborn" Boppy. I looked, Its ACTUALLY for newborns. She should switch to a "regular" Boppy right?
Never used this for either child (in newborn or regular size)

2. She registered for a nursing support. Its like a Boppy, but I assume, sturdier. She doesn't need both, correct?
Never used a nusring support pillow...you can easily nurse a child without one. I found them extremely uncomfortable

3. She has the side snap (not crotch snap) onsies on her registry. Does anyone suggest she get the crotch snap?
the side snap is suggested bc of the umbilical cord i believe...def dont need them.

4. She has a whole bunch of receiving blankets on there. I'm not sure she will use many. Should she remove?
I had about 3 that i used...a pack of aden & anais should do the trick along with maybe one or two heavier ones

5. She has an infant Robe. (Like for a bath). She isn't going to EVER use that, right?
never used them - go for a hooded towel instead

6. She registered for 4 bay towels for after a bath (towel with hood). Will she use all of them?
i dont think she will need 4...but i dont wash a towel after each use...may be a personal thing though

7. She registered for infant mits (so they don't scratch their face). Will she use them???
yes - needed them with both children...but one pack is fine. they should be pretty cheap though and worst case you can use socks

8. It looks like she has the bugaboo stroller and registered for the attachments.


9. She has an infant car seat, and the "convertible" bigger kid car seat.
a. At what weight do they outgrow the infant car seat?
b. I know kids stay rear facing till 2 now. at ABOUT what age do the babies get to the weight they cant be in the infant carrier anymore? ABOUT 8mos or SO?
c. Is it worth asking for the convertible car seat now? In 8 months they might see something they like better?
i would have loved to get any big ticket items at my shower so i would keep both on there

10. Which leads me to: I assume its not REALLY worth it to register for the high chair and things like they? They wont use it for 6+ months, and that means they have to store it for 6+ months.
i would keep the high chair, saves her in the long run

eta - in terms of what to add...size one diapers. i woudlnt get newborn size bc they arent really necessary.

Message edited 10/5/2015 12:01:02 PM.

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I think each mom is different. I used some of those things and not others. Other moms used all...some used none. Everything can be returned and in the worse case she get store credit or gift cards they can use towards other things. I would let the Mom to be register for whatever she wants.

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Like everyone else said every mom is different. And likes different things.

In terms of side snaps vs crotch snaps: matter of opinion. Leave it if she changes her mind she changes her mind. Its not earth shattering and she may figure out what works best for her after baby is here.

In terms of the large items that come a bit down the road, she should 100% leave those on the registry! Why should she take them off because she doesn't need it right this second? The registry is all the things she will need for her baby. If anything I would suggest taking clothes off all together because she will get so much of it she doesn't need to register for it. Id much rather get the big ticket items I need!

And the burp cloths and towels she will def use! Along with blankets. I used a ton of blankets.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

1. I used the regular boppy from birth

2. I nursed and the boppy was fine.

3. I never used side snap onesies but I really never used any onesies at all. I know people like the side snap at first.

4. I never used more than 1 receiving blanket but again people like them

5. Never used a robe

6. We rotated between 2 hooded towels but I'm good with laundry

7. Never used mits

8.jealous

9. We held off in the convertible and switched around 8 months

10. High chair and stuff we still registered for bc people like having bigger options and it's nice not to have to buy all that stuff yourself. And although it's suggested to wait for solids until 6 mo, plenty still start early around 4 mo

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Is this the email from the mom? I would let her register for what she wants. Maybe she registered for the newborn and regular nursing supports on purpose.

As far as timing for car seat, high chair, etc., the time goes really quickly. Some people start using them at 4 months, or even earlier for the car seat if you use it as a second seat. It's nice to have those things ready to go. And if she doesn't register for them, what else would she register for? A lot if people prefer to give gifts over gift cards.

Side snap onesies are easier to put on. I mostly had regular onesies, but the side snap are great for when baby first comes home. I had baby in a sleep n play most of the time and I like the zipper ones best. Easy to get on and off. But other than onesie packs, you can't really register for clothes.

Some people swaddle with receiving blankets. I'm not a big swaddler. Really depends on the person how many of those she will want. I didn't use many.
I didn't get an infant robe, it's like a cute towel? She might just want for the cuteness.
4 towels is not extreme. Maybe more than needed, but they will get used eventually.
The blankets, towels, clothes quantity is going to vary - does the baby spit up a lot, do they do laundry a lot or have to trek to laundraumat...I took an infant care class where the nurse used a ridiculous amount of towels, washcloths and water basins for 1 baby bath. It depends how you do things.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I was going to answer each point, but in short - she should register for what she wants, and absolutely for things like car seats, strollers, high chairs, etc. I'd rather people go in on a group gift for those things that are actually useful then a bunch of toys and clothes.

She prob only needs one nursing support, I used more than 4 towels, if she prefers side snap onesies she should choose those - it's her baby, it's her registry, it's really up to her what she puts on there. She can always return things for credit and buy something else if she changes her mind. You can return the items on your registry for like up to 9 months at BRU.

I honestly think telling her to change things is kind of rude, I would be so offended if someone told me to change my registry. And I get the feeling that is so far from your intention here, but just giving my "new mom" perspective.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

She is a first time mom and is excited. I would leave her registry alone. Let her get whatever she thinks she wants and needs and she can return or exchange later. She will learn as she goes, that's half the fun of it.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I don't think her list is bad at all. Will she use all everything? probably not. But what business is it of anyone else to tell her what to register for? We have ALL registered for things we ended up never using lol. I would be pretty annoyed if someone tried to tell me to change things. I would never give my opinion unless asked or unless the registry had serious problems.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

1. I use the boppy still to this day. DS will be one next week

2. I nurse and love the boppy

3. I never used side snap onesies.

4. I have about 6 receiving blankets and used them regularly last winter as a layer in the car seat.

5. Never used a robe

6. We only have 2 hooded towels and are fine wth that

7. Never used mits

8. SIL has the bugaboo chameleon and hates it. I have the city select and love it.

9. We started using the convertible car seat at 10 1/2 months

10. High chair and stuff we still registered for bc people like having bigger options and it's nice not to have to buy all that stuff yourself

Message edited 10/5/2015 1:39:06 PM.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I'd tell her to add the big ticket items like highchair, pack & play, monitor, stroller, car seat(s)
and ditch anything 'newborn' size.

Unless the baby is premature, she's going to use anything labled 'newborn' for like, 2 weeks.

I'd purchase a few newborn outfits myself, and keep everything else starting at the 0-3 month mark.

and honestly, if she wants the cute little hooded robes. don't rain on her parade.
People are going to take it upon themselves to pick out and buy usless and/or ugly stuff she's going to hate ..........the whole point of the registry is to get to pick out things she wants/needs and is excited about

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

the boppy- I didn't nurse and my sister gave me a boppy. We used it for tummy time. I would prop them up on it. We uses them for at the daycare I worked alos. Also used it when they would hold their own bottle to lay on so they weren't flat.

the convertible Iu sed around 6 months. So happy I had it and didn't have to spend the money on one then.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

1. She might have chosen the newborn one by mistake, or maybe she really wants to make sure she can breastfeed, and this will help her in the beginning especially if she has a csection.

2. I used the sturdier one for breastfeeding and it was great. But it was too sturdy to use it to prop the baby up to lay in it on a bed or on the floor without bending her neck at a weird angle. So the regular boppy would be good for thst.

3. In the beginning it's hard to get clothes over the baby's head. I loved side snap onesies.

4. I used a lot of receiving blankets. For swaddling, laying the baby on the floor, protecting the car seat and stroller from diaper leaks,for breastfeeding privacy, etc. Can't have too many.

5. When dd was 2 she started to love wearing a robe.

6. I had 4 hooded towels, and used a clean one every night,

7. The mits are great in the beginning.

8. If she already has that stroller then why not register for the accessories?

9. The infant carseat is great for the first year or so. If the baby falls asleep in the car she can just carry the whole car seat inside without waking the baby.

10. We started using the high chair at 4 months. If she has the room to store those items, then why not register for them?

I think her registry sounds perfectly reasonable. No one has to to buy her anything they don't want to. I think her mom should mind her business.

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Nothing on there is ridiculous... And unless she's asking for your advice I would keep my mouth shut! Especially if you don't have any experience with using these products.

Also, BBB has a terrific return policy!

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I'm kind of confused by the post/question

She made this registry and is she asking for advice on it?

Or is her mom making comments about it?

If someone gave me unsolicited advice about things I registered for for MY baby, I'd be pretty pisssed

But again, I may be misreading this as I am confused by the post

Message edited 10/5/2015 3:51:17 PM.

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Is she asking you for help? If not its no ones business what she registers for. Let her figure it out. If you don't like something don't buy it.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Who is questioning the registry? You or her mom?

Either way, I don't think you or her mom should be giving the new mom advice on her registry. None of the items listed seem ridiculous.

I spent the first half year buying and returning things from BBB and BRU. I went there at least once a week. I had plenty of useless things on my registry - bottle warmer, wipe warmer, mobiles that just hung around, etc.

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I appreciate all the advice.

I wrote her a small email and said "I would just re-consider a few things". I said she probably wont use the robe but it is cute. I also gave her a link and said that I would suggest adding the Gerber 10 pack of cloth diapers as burp cloths.".

She was very nice (she asked me to help) and said the moms she knows use the receiving blankets as burp cloths so she wont need any.

So I agree that this is all good advice. The biggest thing is to let her enjoy the registry. Use what she does, return what she doesn't.

ETA: Just want to make sure you all know this was solicited and asked for advice :)

Message edited 10/5/2015 4:49:00 PM.

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

This is my take:

I never breast fed so I can't speak to 1 and 2

3. She will need both. Side snap are great for before the umbilical cord falls off, and then crotch snap for later on.

4. I went through tons of receiving blankets, mix of the aden & anais muslin for swaddling and the flannel ones to throw down i.e. At the doctors office, when changing at someone's house, if it was a little chilly in the house, etc.

5. No need for a robe

6. I had about 4-5 towels, bit I lived in an apartment and couldn't do laundry much. My daughter loved to pee in the towel after a bath.

7. Maybe 1-2 pair of mitts. People have different opinions on this. The long sleeved onesies -both crotch and side snap -have the fold-down over the hands

8. For most strollers the attachments come separate. It's an expensive stroller, but I'm sure she's aware of prices when she picked...

9. You will need both car seats. I personally bought my own convert able when dd was 1 amd we were ready for it (they are constantly updating models), but if the shower is big enough and people are willing to pay, it's common for people to register for both now. Babies outgrow the infant one anywhere between 6 months and 15 months depending on their size and manufacturer limits. The convertible seats can be put in rear-facing til they are 2 or hight/weight rec.

10. Again, depends on how many people are attending the shower and their generosity level,

Re: Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

Need advice - Friend baby shower and her registry

I highly recommend the baby bargains book. It rates products but also helps give a first time mom ideas of how many of each thing she will need. The stuff your friend has on her registry seems fine--the newborn boopy is more of a lounger for the baby while the breast feeding pillow is used to help position the baby while nursing. I used side snap tee shirts with my daughter and loved them--I switched to onesie style tee shirts after her umbilical cord stump feel off. I never used any type of infant mittens but many people especially those with winter babies like them. Dd had two robes I was given as gifts and I did use them- the cute factor is worth it even if they are totally impractical. I had six infant size towels and was happy to have extras when dd had terrible reflux that led to both of us needing frequent washing up.
Stroller accessories are definitely a typical registry item. As are infant and convertible car seats. Dd used her infant car seat until she was one then we switched to a convertible seat. The downside of registering for the convertible seat is you lose a year on the expiration date. I held off on the convertible seat. Dd infant seat went to 35 pounds but she out grew the height first. The convertible seats in general have high height and weight limits. Dd seat is rear facing up to 40 pounds ( at 19 months she is 24 lbs).
I would encourage your friend to register for any bigger items she likes--high chair, play pen, travel crib, exersaucer, jumparoo, bouncy seat, bassinet/portacrib, etc. Babies start using these things within the first 4-6 months. Even if your friend didn't get them at her shower she will get a registry completion discount and can purchase them herself.