What kind of mom are you?

How old is/are your child/children? Ftm?

Are you laid back or nervous? Helicopter mom? Organic mom? How would you describe your parenting style? Sahm or ftwm? Just curious.

As for me...when we are home I let dd (15 months) play mostly on her own, exploring her toys and figuring things out. I engage on and off showing her things but I'm not hovering over her the whole day.

When we are out at classes, etc I'm hovering over her more. The moment we leave I wipe down her hands with antibacterial.

I try to feed her organic when we are home, but when we are out anything goes unless I have brought food for her. Which I mostly do but she still "tries" our food.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

DW (SAHM) and I are both more of the "walk it off" type of parents. DS is 11, and DD is 8, and since they were little, we never hovered, and if they fell (within reason), we let them get up on their own and keep going. We don't do organic, but we do have both DC in sports, and exercise at home. DS went to sleep-away camp for a week when he was 8, even though he didn't know anybody beforehand.

We believe that letting DC figure things out on their own is the best route for us and them. We make sure they don't have to go to the hospital, but we let them make mistakes. It's what works for us.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

My DD is 6 yrs old and my DS is 18 months old. I am a SAHM and have been since my DD was born.

I'm pretty easygoing for the most part in that I don't get stressed easily. I *try* not to sweat the little things and I feel confident in what I am doing as a mom most of the time. I'm pretty big on routines and bedtimes. Just makes my life easier.........and theirs!!

As far as the kids, I was on top of my DD a little more when she was younger, less so with my DS. I think it's partly because he's the 2nd kid and partly because he's a boy. He's more physical and coordinated than she was at the same age so I don't feel like I have to worry as much about him.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

kids are 4 yrs & 2 yrs & I am a ptwm.

When I only had 1 child, I was a very different mom than I am now. My house was perfect, spotless, toys were in order. DS was clean & neat looking. DS had a schedule that I hated breaking. We always wiped everything down with antibacterial wipes before he touched it. I was the furthest thing from laid back. It would drive me nuts when anyone other than myself made any moves with my kid without asking me first.

When #2 arrived, our house became a pig stye & the most shocking thing for me, since I have been type A all my life, is that I am ok with it. I am not too crazy with making the kids wash their hands before eating. I never wipe shopping carts down, or high chairs at a restaurant. I let them jump on my couches & play ball inside. I am still a bit of a helicopter mom at the park with #2 because he falls easily.

We try to eat organic as long as I can get myself to the right stores to buy these foods. I still can't stand when il's give the kids candy & junk without asking me.

What kind of mom are you?

My DS is almost 3. I am a FTWM and my DH worls FT and has a side business.

We are the furthest from Helicopter parents. DS plays on his own and with us and others as needed. He is happy to sit and play by himself or go help DH in the garage.

Food - def no organic and he eats what we have or doesn't eat.

Germs - the more the merrier - well not really but hes a daycare kid and was sick for his first year and I don't go crazy when he comes home and wash him down or change his clothes. He now has a healthy immune system and hardly gets sick.

I just can't get on board with the modern way of parenting. My kid will know he's not perfect and he can't win everything and its perfectly fine to lose at activities. I will make sure his does not feel entitled to everything like most of the kids today. I think my parents did an amazing job raising my sis and I. They gave us just enough to feel lucky but not entitled.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Re: What kind of mom are you?

I just can't get on board with the modern way of parenting. My kid will know he's not perfect and he can't win everything and its perfectly fine to lose at activities. I will make sure his does not feel entitled to everything like most of the kids today. I think my parents did an amazing job raising my sis and I. They gave us just enough to feel lucky but not entitled.


This, I agree with!

Re: What kind of mom are you?

What kind of mom are you?

I am a SAHM but work from home. I consider myself a laid back mom. DD has pretty much been able to roam and explore on her own since she was aware of her surroundings. I feel if you let them be that way they have more understanding of, if I do this, then this will happen etc... They learn from their mistakes in a sense. She has a huge imagination and plays independantly most of the time. I am pretty strict though. She knows when she can and can't do something. She will test my limits, but I am not afraid of tantrums, crying, her being mad at me etc... I am her mom and I will raise her to know what disappointment is in life.
DH is more helicopter. He would bubble wrap her if he could. I always say she would be a totally different child if he was a stay at home dad because he gets nervous.

What kind of mom are you?

I'm going to keep adding as I think of things.

I want dd to know she is fortunate and appreciate what she has. When she gets older and she gets monetary gifts I want to do the "buy, give, save" thing with her. She can buy something, donate something and save something...the amounts are up to her.

I also want her to volunteer

Re: What kind of mom are you?

How old is/are your child/children? Ftm?

FTWM
I'm laid back for the most part.
I saw her using the coins on her gypsy skirt to press into the bottom of her foot because it felt cool to the touch. I saw it and said
"What are you doing? You're going to break the coins off, use the ones closer to your heel"

Hubby looked at me and laughed.

She decided last night to do some stupid maneuver off the couch nearly busted her head. I just looked at her with that 'look' she looked back and walked off to brush her teeth while Hubby and I silently giggled.

I teach her how to get the HIGHEST puddle splashes and if a boy pushes her. Well it happens. Boys can be mean. So can life. Get over it.

I never EVER limit her to things based on sex. I show her science and math and the world. She's Tiaras and Turtles.

Trees aren't always green, neither is grass. In crafts I let her do what she wants. I think art is a great outlet for them to express themselves, think things out, learn new tricks, show off, get messy, ask questions. I never hover. Do what you want.. make a mess, there's no wrong in art.

Dirt never hurt no one. Drink the water out of the water sprinkler in the backyard. wash your hands of course but I'm not going to care if she comes home from school covered in dust (which she does). I put her hair up to avoid some damage there but I say climb it, touch it, roll it, I don't care.

She hates sodas.. ALL cokes
She won't drink milk anymore
She does drink water mostly
RARELY I'll let her drink tea
She loves her veggies
She loves beans and rice
She eats her food and exercises
Since she was little she loves veggies.

We don't buy organic because its expensive, hard to find, doesn't last as long. I figure its better to EAT veggies than not at all. We do give her frozen because they are the same. However no canned items. We made her food at home as baby because it was cheaper and easier.

I am strict
I am ruthless
I am forgiving
I am tolerant
I am her teacher
I am her fellow explorer
I am respectful to her and her opinions
I am her biggest defender
I am the honest truth
I am her travel guide
I am her conscious
I am her mirror

I set the rules but can be talked into a compromise if there is sacrifice on her side that is significant.
I am willing to admit if I don't follow those rules. I allow her to ask questions, pick at the answers and question methods. I like her to use logic against mine.

According to my 6yr old I am the coolest mom ever.

Wish I could capture that adoration for her teen years which I know will be rough as she is learning to be independent, assertive and sure. But she's also learning to be caring, charitable, honest and kind


ETA: and I am known to tell her "tough cookies, sorry you're disappointed but life is full of disappointments, get used to it."
Done that since she was smaller and now she just gets over it. I HATE whining and the more you ask for something the less likely you are to get it. You have more than others, remember that. And she does.

Message edited 10/15/2014 10:02:36 AM.

What kind of mom are you?

My son is 19 months. I am a full time working mom and my husband also works full time. He works nights so we kid around that most days it is like we are single parents!

I am pretty laid back and am pretty go with the flow. I sit and watch my son and try to let him figure things out himself. With that being said I am there to make sure there is no issue (especially when we are at a class or something). We teach our son boundaries and will not just give in because he cries.

We do not do organic food and we try to have my son eat the same things that we do. Sometimes we are successful with that and others not!

Re: What kind of mom are you?

DD is 2 - I'm a PTWM.

Home - I pretty much let her do whatever she wants. Except play with knives/scissors/cleaning products.

Out - I NEED to hover - she's a hitter.

Food - We do strictly organic milk at home - when we're out, I'm lax. I limit sugar, she only drinks water and milk. For a snack she gets a cheese stick, or yogurt, or a pretzel rod. I limit snacks too - I wasn't raised a snacker, she won't be either.

I'm a laid back parent - much more so than my DH.

What kind of mom are you?

DS is 2 1/2. I'm a FTWM

I'm pretty laid back for the most part. However, DS is a wild child and can be very reckless physically plus he's a runner. So when we're out, I do have to hover to an extent because I never know when he'll just take off. But he does get in trouble for it and I will give him time out for running off.

We do not do organic. I did give him organic milk only for a long time, we only recently stopped. He's a good eater and makes good choices on his own, but I don't credit myself for a lot of that. It's just his taste in food.

I do agree that kids need to learn disappointment in life. This is an argument I have with almost everyone in my family because they all think I'm mean. But you know, as someone else said, life isn't always fair and it's full of disappointment. And I don't think it's fair to make a child believe that they can always get whatever they want when they want it. So I will let him have his tantrums when he doesn't get his way and tell him "sorry, too bad." He can't go through life thinking he can always have his way.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

My son turned one year on September 9th so he is now just over 13 months old. He is my first child so yes, I’m a first-time mom although I’m lucky that I had experience with children from being a full-time nanny while I was in college and also helping to raise my nephew (my brother’s son) from birth. He is now 12 years old!!! CRAZY! Anyway, I work full-time, Monday – Friday from 8am – 4pm. DH works full-time too.

I think I’m pretty laid back but certain things make me worry – when he was first born, and still from time to time, I worry about like autism because that is so ‘on the radar’ right now. When he was BRAND new I was scared and jittery because I loved him SO much that I worried something would happen to him -- a lot of that was hormones haha that chilled out over time. I will think, occasionally, about “is he developing on par with other kids his age?” …I think, for the most part, that kind of stuff is normal – especially with the first. I don’t overdo it though. Like, he is sensitive with thicker foods so a lot of kids his age can tolerate thicker foods now, but he does gag easily – even though he likes the flavor. So, I make things a little smoother for him. But I don’t stress it – he won’t be eating pureed foods at his wedding

When we go places (like Gymboree) I stick near him and make sure if he’s climbing I’m with him. But I'm not on him like white on rice, ever. And I enjoy it - I'm never "nervous" or jittery. If we are at home or at a relative’s house, I’m pretty laid back. If he falls, or something happens, it's almost always "You're OK, It's alright" with a pat on the back and a kiss. With eating, I don’t stress – if he doesn’t want to eat, which is rare lol, then I don’t force it or fight or worry. I just let him play or do something else and wait til the next meal. Then, when he’s hungry, he’ll eat.

I do feed him organic food. But that's because that is how we eat. I have been this way since HS when I became VERY sick from processed foods. I look to make sure nothing I give him is processed or has steroids, chemicals, etc. in it. I found a great baby food I’m happy with – earth’s best organic. It is certified organic plus they put the food in glass jars as I wasn’t a fan of the plastic. I don’t make myself nuts over it but I just prepare myself with food and snacks for him that are healthy when we go places. I also give him our food – we eat organic too (eggs, meat, milk, etc.). I buy organic veggies and fruits too so anything we give him from our plate is OK.

I’m tough – even at thirteen months old he knows the difference between good boy and NO. He knows what he should and shouldn’t be doing. He’s pretty bright because if he’s being naughty he’ll kind of look over his shoulder to see if I’m seeing what he’s doing. He’s very good though because he responds well to us directing him. He is still young though so I do the “redirect” but when he needs it, I will utilize “time out”. I like the super nanny’s style. It worked great with my nephew, the show was big back then, and I have used it as a nanny – always with great results if it is done exactly the way Jo outlines.

I’m tough but I’m fair. DH is the same way. He is a teacher so he is pretty good about staying calm. We are very affectionate with him and love to love him – we LOVE to laugh... a lot of times, if it is a seemingly stressful situation like he is throwing a fit in Ralph Lauren (like he did the other day in the Riverhead outlet) because he wanted to play with one of their displays, I was like absolutely not and he threw a little hissy. We just removed him from the situation, laughed like what can ya do? And when we removed him, and no one was around, we were stern and said NO and when he calmed down reinforced him by saying good, better… etc. So, he knows right away – I cry and it’s NO or STOP THAT… If I’m not ranting then it’s kisses and good boy. My go-to line is, cope with it or work it out lol like you'll throw yourself on the floor and if I don't react, you'll stop and then we will have a talk about how that's not acceptable and move on. Half the time I'm like see, he worked it out! or he coped with it! LOL After a while, and being consistent – which is the most important thing, he gets it. When in public, we don’t stress too much in front of people and then we remove him or go to a private spot and quietly diffuse and reprimand. If we are at home, it is dealt with as soon as it happens. I just don’t ever want to make a scene because there’s no need for a show. Us having to give him a teachable moment is a private, family matter, if possible.

We talk a lot – I guess if we have a “style” it is communicative. I talk to him, and he’s only 13 months, NON STOP. I tell him what’s good, what’s bad, and everything in between. Even when we are just getting dressed in the morning, I will go through everything that I’m doing with him. I don’t know why but he’s fascinated by it This helps with teaching them right from wrong too because we can just discuss the fact that you can’t throw forks or you have to sit and be patient during dinner until everyone is done, etc. as he gets older. It worked wonders with my nephew. I have to say, everything I learned about how to be a good parent I learned from my mother and then my brother. I watched my mother raise us – my dad too, but he worked so my mom was primary. And I watched my brother be the best parent I have EVER seen – he expects a lot from Christopher but loves him unconditionally. He would calmly tell him when he was wrong, expect him to correct it and ADORE him in everything that he did well – or at least tried to do well! He is the best parent on earth. Often, when I’m like what should I do now???? I think, what would Kenneth do OR I ask him for advice.


Oh I have to add this quote a friend showed me:

I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and who got trophies for just participating.

Message edited 10/15/2014 10:56:32 AM.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Re: What kind of mom are you?

I'm a normal mom.
Just like all the rest of us.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

I'm a hot mess.

In everything...not just motherhood.

Oh and we all eat like shit.
And I drink a lot of wine.

Message edited 10/15/2014 4:25:15 PM.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Posted by NervousNell

I'm a hot mess.

In everything...not just motherhood.

Oh and we all eat like shit.
And I drink a lot of wine.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Posted by NervousNell

I'm a hot mess.

In everything...not just motherhood.

Oh and we all eat like shit.
And I drink a lot of wine.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Posted by NervousNell

I'm a hot mess.

In everything...not just motherhood.

Oh and we all eat like shit.
And I drink a lot of wine.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

I have 4 kids

Oldest will be 5 in December
Twins are 2.5
Baby is 9.5 weeks

I'm very laid back. The only thing I stress about is my oldest's allergies because they are extremely severe. As for everything else, I'm pretty much okay with whatever as long as my kids are being kind, respectful and not hurting one another.

I try to feed them mostly whole, non-processed foods and I love cooking/baking so it's fairly easy (I also don't have a choice much of the time because of my son's allergies). I do let them have some safe junk food too like teddy grahams :)

At home, they play on their own. I do have some structure at home because one of my twins has some special needs.

I'm not 100% any type of mom. I coslept with each kid until 6-9 months and then did CIO. I make no sense! Fed my kids all organic homemade babyfood and then took my 4 year old to chipotle. I just do whatever feels right for us.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

Posted by NervousNell

I'm a hot mess.

In everything...not just motherhood.

Oh and we all eat like shit.
And I drink a lot of wine.

Re: What kind of mom are you?

I'm a part time working mom. I guess I am the PTA mom. I am very active at school. I'm the volunteer coordinator and also chair a few committees for the PTA.

We don't eat healthy all the time but I try to balance out meals.

I don't think I hover over my kids. I can't. I have 2 of them.

I rarely brush my hair and do my make up in the car.