Favoring 1 parent over the other

This is long but please read and talk to me!!

I know it's normal for a child to be more attached to one parent than the other-- from what I read online it's usually a phase and switches back and forth... but my DD has been heavily, heavily favoring DH for almost 2 months now and I've just about had it. I'm so upset and have no idea what to do because it's at the point now where I'm feeling jealous of DH and I don't want to be resentful of him or angry at DD.

For back story-- DD is just about 2 years old. For the past 2 months when she wakes up any morning or for any nap she cries out for DH. Even when she is being babysat by my parents they tell me she calls for him. We have photos around the house, she's always pointing to DH's face and saying dada... no one else. In the mornings she wants to do everything he does when getting ready for work. she has to brush her teeth with him, she has to stretch with him, she has to try on his clothes (belt, hat, whatever)... she has never done this with anything of mine or if I am doing something similar. We usually choose 4-10 books before bedtime and DH & I take turns reading every other book. She pulls the books I'm reading from my hand and gives it to him and asks him to read it instead. He also gets all of the cuddles. She def. prefers him in each and every way. All during the day I only hear her saying "dada" and never "mama" I don't think I've heard her say it much in the past 2 months at all. everything is daddy!!!

is this normal? Please, please tell me this will get better... has this ever lasted this long for someone else? is there anything i can do?

Favoring 1 parent over the other

Yep.. normal.

Mine goes back and forth. She'll be 6 next month! haha Right now Mama rules! But Yes I remember Daddy was the 'BEST' and I was just 'ok'

I figure she'll hate me in her teens so at least she'll have that Daddy Daughter thing to fall back on.

I remember once she was being a brat and I asked if she wanted me or Daddy to drive. She pouted and I drove and let hubby take the other car so it was just the two of us. She screamed like I was pulling her apart from her joints. She was horse before we got home (2mins and 30 seconds away). She was hot to the touch, red all over and shaking in tears. HEAVEN FORBID. So ironically punishment for a bit there was time with me.

Right now I'm her best friend. I'm enjoying it before the next cycle hits.

Hang in there

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

It's a phase.

DS had it with my mom (who babysat him) for a while & wanted nothing to do with me.

That time was short... also around the age of 2... now he takes turns loving everyone.

DD, who is now 2.5 is only into me. Says she doesn't love DH. He saw the phase with DS, so he just says "whatever".

Favoring 1 parent over the other

I know the jealous feeling. Dh was god in our house for a good couple of months. I went out one day, the whole day, and the next day I was the favorite again. She is definitely in mommy mode right now but it will switch. I remember when she was tiny, only a couple of weeks old, Dh would get tons of smiles and I got nothing. It hurt my heart. Hang in there you will be the favorite again soon.

Favoring 1 parent over the other

DD (4m) is kinda in a daddy phase right now. If I hold her, she looks for him. If she hears him, she immediately looks in his direction and smiles, yet I don't get a smile. She's been cuddling with him and falling asleep on him and is more restless with me. It stinks but I know it's probably just a phase.

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

It's a phase. DD was like that with me for months. She would only give me hugs, kisses...she only wanted me to hold her, etc. Now, she goes up to DH (it seems like every 5 minutes) and says 'daddy, hug' and when I say 'hey, how about me', she says 'no'.
Hang in there

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

Normal! DD was all about me for a while. Then DH and I were kind of tied. Then DS was born and both kids favored me. Then when DD hit 2-1/2, she suddenly was obsessed with DH. Now she is almost 3 and back to favoring me, but only a little (if we are both there, she wants me to read books, rock wth her, etc., but if I am not there, then she is very happy with DH). It cycles around. DH used to get SO mad about it, but now he realizes that it will cycle back to him at some point.

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

before DS was even born, DH kept on telling me that he'll always be second best because babies always favor the mom.
DS was born and he adored DH. He still does.

He has his days where he'll favr me, but overall, DH is the favorite parent.

HOWEVER, I can see why. DH is the one who plays and teks him to the park, and wrestles with him, and plays him silly songs, and does silly things with him.

I felt jealous for a while, even cried a few times. and then I realized DS has us all figured out!
DH is the fun parent and that's well and good, but if anything serious happen,s he needs help or wants a boo boo taken care of, it's always mommy! I'm the take charge care taker who fixes things, DH is the fun let's play all day parent. and DS had that figured out since he was very very young!

Try not to let it get to you. DH may seem like he's always being called, but your child knows very well when mommy is needed. She loves you and knows you are there for her.

Favoring 1 parent over the other

It's heartbreaking - DS was all about Daddy and it made me feel so much worse because I'm out of the house 6am-4:30pm and DS is with DH all day. I would cry on certain days because he would want DH over me and that broke my heart. Now that it's summer and I'm home, he tries to get out of DH's hands to hang out with me. He is so unbelievably clingy and hangs on me every second of the day - I cherish it because I know it'll change again soon!

Favoring 1 parent over the other

Are you around your dd more than your dh is? My dd does the same thing, but I'm with her all day, so when she gets to be with dh she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. But I try to remind myself its just the age and that she's not trying to pick a favorite. She just doesn't get to spend as much time w her dad as she does with her mom.

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

It's a phase and normal
Being on the other side of it with kids who only want me...I would give anything for them to want daddy first sometimes.
I would look at the positive and see the special bond your dd has with your dh

Favoring 1 parent over the other

It is a phase and will change plenty! DS used to favor DH when he was younger now at 2 he changes every other day. Last night I told him I loved him he said I no love you and then I love you daddy LOL. I think it is funny because when we go anywhere it is like he is allergic to my DH. DD is a mommies girl from day 1. Don't worry I wish my kids would love daddy more so I could get a break sometimes.

Favoring 1 parent over the other

While it does hurt, it's totally normal. And it will change. When we switched daycares our routines changed and DH spent more time with DS in the morning. For the first couple of months, DS was all about daddy. It was good though, because they hadn't really had as much time to bond before that. But the last month or two it's switched and now he's very clingy with me. And I'm sure it will change again. Try not to let it get you down!

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

Someone else asked but I will too, do you stay at home or spend more time with her? I think if they're around one parent more than the other that they can take that parent for granted. I work PT and while DD has favored me most of her life she does go through phases where all she wants is Daddy. She'll wake up in the morning, come into our room and burst into tears because Daddy is at work (he leaves super early, often before any of us are up). I know it can hurt but I think these things are usually a phase.

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

DD is definitely daddy's girl! But like others have said, he is basically her big play toy. She loves me too but I've definitely had my moments where I've been super upset and cried. We had her cake smash/first birthday pics two weeks ago and she took some pics with DH first and then he hands her off to me and she's hysterical. Really?! Same thing happened at her baptism in May and her Easter pics. Sigh.

Hang in there mama

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

I know its annoying....but it will pass!

My second son was a total daddy's boy. I used to say he didn't even like me that much. This was for a good year +. Everything was daddy, daddy, daddy. Now suddenly he won't even let my husband put him to bed. He won't even kiss him good night. Its all mommy!

I think part of it in our case was I am home with the kids all day and daddy is at work. So he was probably bored of me and daddy was kinda a novelty BC he only saw him for a few hours a day.

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

Yes and we live with in laws and they help take care of them so it takes longer to get to my phase ! Marmar, poppop, daddy then mommy repeat.. Lately though it's evened out a bit but especially was so around age 2... He even said all their names first before mommy.. Heartbreaking... But just this week he started saying 'I love you mommy' so it def y will be your time again

I would do some special you activities that only you do with her and not daddy ever. Mommy only -something that's fun. Do some Google searches for ideas.I know my lo had 'jobs' for everyone - he does certain things with particular people.. Not sure how that worked out but just kinda happened...

Hugs

Re: Favoring 1 parent over the other

My 4 year still favors my DH over me. It's gotten better but she still would want him over me anyday. He also favors her over our other kids too.