Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

PLEASE Do not quote! We had a playdate recently with a mom and son we had met only once prior at a play group. I did recall that during the prior playgroup, some moms and kids complained that this other boy hit a few kids.

The mother spoke to him in a calm manner and explained why he isn't supposed to hit. However, when she was at my home she was not as aggressive in disciplining her child when he was acting wildly, which was getting me annoyed. The child who is also almost two years older than my son, and should know better was jumping all over my furniture and throwing toys, screaming high pitch screams and being disrespectful when I asked him to please not jump on my couches because he could get hurt.

The mom was passive and told him to stop but, the child kept on. I kept saying hints like I think it's time for my son to nap now hoping that she would leave. They stayed for almost two hours!

I told my son and this boy to stay out in the open so I can see what is going on. they ran into my sons room. I followed shortly after. The mother just sat there. As I enter the room, I see a huge bump on my sons head. Right between the eyes. It was swelling up fast. I said What is that from?? My son was not crying. So, I knew he was okay, but still. My son told me that the boy hit him in the head with the race car. I said out loud well, that is not very nice. The mother said nothing. It really annoyed me.


The bump did end up going down the next day with some ice on it. However, I just was really annoyed how she let her 4 year old behave at a strangers house.

If it were me and my son was acting up like that, I would politely excuse ourselves and say we had to go because he isn't playing nicely. How would you have handled this situation?

Also, see my bottom replies for updated questions! Thanks!

Message edited 7/1/2014 2:41:40 PM.

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I would have been mortified and disciplined and of course left after profusely apologizing.

Guess that's the end of play dates with them.

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Well lets see.. if my kid were acting like a shit she'd have heard it from me from the get go. So I don't think it could have escalated that far. Seems this woman felt this behavior was normal and acceptable. To you it was not.

If AJ acts up or doesn't listen when she's at her BFF's house across the street I call her out in front of her friend (after warnings) My way or we're leaving right now. "but mom... " ... I don't care, stop being disrespectful or we're leaving, end of story, got it? Now the other mom said "its ok, they are just having fun" that may be so, but AJ was running around and ran into their TV entertainment system. I said "Sure but I don't appreciate it and I'm sorry but she can't just ignore me completely because she's in your home, I'm standing right here, I'm her mom and she has to respect that" to which the other mom said "yeah, I see your point" and told her daughter to not run around as much or be more careful.

My parenting style may not match everyone's (or anyone's) but I expect my child to behave. There is absolutely NO leeway. Sure she can run and play and they fight and hate each other then love each other and that's alright but if I say 'stop' then you stop.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

My rule for my children in anyone's home is "I don't care what THEY are allowed to do - If you're not allowed to do it in our home, you're DEFINITELY not allowed to do it in someone else's!"
On the flip side though, I don't let other people's children do what I won't let my own children do in my home - so I have zero problem telling (not asking nicely, TELLING) someone's else's kid not to jump on my furniture, throw the toys, eat ice pops in my living room - whatever it may be.

So yeah, if my sons weren't listening and misbehaving, I would have absolutely left the playdate. As punishment for their bad behavoir.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I would have left too. At a certain point my kids (all kids really) get antsy and that's when I pack it up. And I'd never have that kid over again. I can't stand people to are mamby pamby about disciplining their kids, especially in someone elses home.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I would have left. If DD isn't behaving then we dont stay.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I've left a party twice because of DD's behavior and I've left a store a few times too. I don't play. I will not tolerate the nonsense and insanity in public. She will get warned.. Then I simply leave, thank the host and off we go., end of story.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Message edited 7/1/2014 2:42:20 PM.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I would have left but, I did have a playdate once with a kid from DS' class who acted atrociously (they were a little over 2 at the time and basically DS sat on my lap in tears yelling at the girl to get away) and they didn't leave. She was biting him, pinching him and just bothering him to the point where he was afraid she was going to attack him even if she just wanted to play.

I love the mom but, we haven't had any playdates since then - we just have done grown up things lol.

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I'd be mortified and we would have definitely left.

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Yes, I definitely would have left. Especially being in someone else's home, it's ridiculous to make a host put up with that. This is why I wouldn't invite someone to a playdate at my house without having spent a decent amount of time with them first.

In the group I often get together with, there is definitely one who is more prone to that behavior but the mom is constantly correcting the kid. That I don't have an issue with bc how else is the child going to learn to get along with others without having the opportunity to socialize. For someone to just sit back and let their kid use my child and my home as a punching bag, no way.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Heck yes! That would be a consequence for poor behavior and if the behavior did not end, I'd pack it in!

We've done it before and unfortunately I am sure we will do it again!

We've had to do it at a dinner, at a birthday at the park and even at grandmas!

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Yes I would leave but in the case clearly that moms priority is not supervising or controlling her child. He acts that way because it is allowed. Honestly for me it would mean I wouldn't invite them over anymore.

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Heck yea and honestly if my child was that out of control a lot I probably would skip play dates or perhaps have them at my house if it made a difference in his/her behavior.

But I can be strict, my son gets a look from me if he doesn't say yes please or no thank you

Message edited 7/1/2014 5:27:13 PM.

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I have left houses when my DS isn't listening or is in full out melt down mode.

Isn't fun for me or the people I'm with, so I personally don't understand why I would stay. I'm all about the follow through.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Yes, I would def leave if my child(ren) were misbehaving. Surprisingly, they are pretty well behaved at others' homes, just not ours.

That being said, nothing you stated would have bothered me except the obvious hitting. My kids are 3 and 5 though. They are just old enough that I don't have to be supervising their play. The new thing for them is they take friends to show and play in their rooms.

I don't think 2 hours is too long for a play date. That seems reasonable. I have had people stay for 5 hours!!!

Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Sounds like a lazy parent. I would discipline like there's no tomorrow and if the bad behavior kept up would get put of there. I'd be so embarrassed...

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Sorry this happened to you.

That behavior was totally unacceptable. Unfortunately, this is why I keep most playdates to public places (like the park, library, etc.) because some people treat another's person's home like a free-for-all and are disrespectful.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

I would have left for sure. We had a similar experience (with a younger child) but the mom didn't discipline her DD at ALL, and she bit my DD at one point. Nice woman but I didn't offer to get together at all afterwards. Effff that. It is such a huge pet peeve of mine.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Posted by bella321

Sorry this happened to you.

That behavior was totally unacceptable. Unfortunately, this is why I keep most playdates to public places (like the park, library, etc.) because some people treat another's person's home like a free-for-all and are disrespectful.

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?

Re: Would you leave someones house if your DC was not behaving?