Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Dh's best friend is getting married. We have a 16 month old dd and 3week old Ds both not invited. I told Dh I would not attend and stay home with the kids but he's giving me grief about it. We can probably arrange for family to watch dd but not Ds.
Dh says - let's just get a babysitter. I told him I'm not comfortable with that. We have a babysitter for dd (from her old daycare) but her experience is with 8 weeks and up. There also happens to be someone that lives across the street that works at a daycare (in her 20s) and Dh is fine leaving Ds with her (we moved in 2 months ago so we really don't know he at all). He thinks I'm being unreasonable when I said no to those options - and to be honest yes I would like to be there for our friends but the wedding is almost an hour away and the last thing I want to do is get dressed up and tote around my breast pump so perhaps I am making up excuses not to go.
Would you be comfortable leaving a 3 week old with people whose experience is 8+weeks? Would you try to find a sitter on care.com or somewhere for your 3 week old or would you skip the wedding?

Eta - family isn't available to watch Ds bc we have a family party in NJ that day

Message edited 6/2/2014 7:12:46 AM.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't feel comfortable either leaving a 3 week old. Especially if you will be an hour away.

Do you have any friends who could do it? Other mom friends?

Message edited 6/2/2014 7:21:58 AM.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my 3 week old with anyone but immediate family. Since that isn't an option for you, I just wouldn't go.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I probably wouldn't be comfortable leaving a 3 week old with a sitter for that long and being an hour away. Definitely not the neighbor that you barely know but if anyone maybe the sitter you've used for DD before. Definitely not unreasonable to decline, not to mention that 3 weeks is very early in terms of establishing nursing and a wedding an hour away is a lot of time to be away. Even if you just went to the ceremony you're talking about 3 hours. It could be fine and he could end up sleeping the entire time but I would probably be too anxious and hormonal to leave a baby that young.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

At 3 weeks, I would only feel comfortable leaving my DC with immediate family. Also at 3 weeks postpartum, I would have had no urge to go to a wedding - even though I was technically feeling ok.

We are going to a wedding when DS will be 8 weeks and my sister's SIL will be watching DS. She's an elementary teaher and frequently watches my infant niece. I'm slightly nervous about that so at 3 weeks old, no way.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I would only leave my 3 week old with family but I have a 10 month old who I have never left with anyone else but family so it could just be me.

I also would not want to tote around with my breast pump at the wedding.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my 3 week old at all and aside from that, at only 3 weeks after having a baby I felt AWFUL and was still recovering from a C-section.

The LAST thing I'd be doing is dressing up, sitting in a car for an hour, and going to a wedding all night. NO way.

I would 100% be skipping that wedding. I wouldn't even be considering it. I think you need to do what's best for you and your DH just has to deal. I understand it's his friends wedding but sometimes life circumstances get in the way and you have to adjust your plans.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a 3 week old with anyone but my immediate family. When DD was 1 month old, we had a wedding that DH and I were both in, and my family came out from Staten Island to watch her. It was hard to leave her for the entire day (literally, I was out of the house from about 5:15 am until after 6 pm), but it was okay in the end. I would absolutely not be comfortable leaving a child that small with a babysitter, especially one who does not have experience with that age.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

No way. I wouldn't leave my 3 week old with anyone but my parents.
I wouldn't be going.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Message edited 6/2/2014 9:19:24 AM.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't go at only 3 weeks PP mostly because I would have no desire to get dressed up; I would send DH and tell him to have a great time . But when is the wedding? if its soon I would think I would have already RSVP no knowing I was having a baby 3 weeks before the wedding.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

What about having a babysitter come to the wedding? I would never leave my 3 week old for that long, especially not with a new sitter and especially if you are BFing.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

No way...that wouldn't fly with me either. I would only trust my mom and my MIL to watch them and even then I probably still wouldn't go. 3 weeks after having a baby I was in mood to go get all decked out and go to a wedding. I wanted sleep more than anything

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't go..I would only leave my kids with my sister at 3 weeks....and honestly at 5 months I still don't trust many people!

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

He were just in the exact same situation as far as having a wedding to go to when my son was 3 1/2 weeks old. I stress about it for months no joke as soon as I knew my due date and then as soon as I knew when the wedding was.
In hindsight we should have our Rsvped NO right away when we got the invitation.
I sat on the invite for weeks trying to make the correct decision I even posted about it on here.
At the last minute I RSVPed yes.
My mother watch 10 I'm more than trust her as she's watched my daughter while I worked since my daughter was six weeks old but still I had to find something to wear, I had a C-section so my options with very limited at that point, was exclusively breast-feeding, hair hasn't been died in months, and sleep deprived more than I ever had been.
We almost called up the bride to explain but I felt bad changing my response a few days before the wedding. It was a cousin of my husbands and he even agreed we should've just stayed home.
We wound up going we got there half an hour into the cocktail hour and left right after the main course was served. I felt that was fair after all we had a three week old at home. I had started pumping that week so I did have some pump bottles for my mom to feed him.
All in all it worked out fine, we got through it but like I said in hindsight it would've been easier from the get-go to say no.
I always worry what people will say but I should've just done what was good for me at that point. It definitely wasn't easy I definitely wasn't feeling myself or looking myself for that matter.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Thanks all - I'm glad to hear I'm not the crazy one (this time at least).
The couple has me down as a no but said we can change our mind up until next week.
I thought about bringing a babysitter but it's at a restaurant so there's no place for them to go

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't leave my 3 week old with anybody besides my mother. Even then, I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself especially because of the BF situation.

Heck, I went to a wedding last week when DD was 8 months and I had a hard time enjoying the night out! It definitely sucked getting the pump out of the car and searching the bathroom for an outlet. There weren't any in the bathroom so I had to coax the maître de to let me use the bridal suite.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I'm laid back about leaving the kids and going out ..........
at 3 weeks, DH and I were leaving them ..........BUT it was with my parents.

I wouldn't personally, leave a 3 week old baby w/ a babysitter UNLESS it was someone I trusted completed who I personally had considerable experience with in my home w/ my first child - KWIM?

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I would not. With DS I wouldnt have felt physically well enough to attend and I would have been way too sleep deprived to enjoy it. Plus I was also EBF and super clingly, I didnt even want family to take him for a walk outside without me at that point.

The only way I would even consider going is if I brought him and my mom with me to the wedding and my mom watched DS in a bridal suite or other lounge area in the building so I could pop in and nurse or check on him or rest any time I wanted.

Otherwise I would RSVP no.

Re: Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

I wouldn't be going to the wedding whether I had a sitter or not. 3 weeks PP? No way.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

At 3 weeks the only people that I would leave my kids with were my parents, in laws, my sister, or my BFF. That is it. So if none of those people were available, I would not be going, and DH would have to deal and go alone.

Attending a wedding -wwyd?

Nope, I wouldn't go.