Re: Need Insight - Religion and Children

My husband is an atheist, and I don't believe in organized religions, but we were both raised Catholic. We struggled with this when our daughters were born, but ultimately decided to baptize them. Our older girl is now going to Catholic pre-K (not by choice--it was the only full day pre-K near us that we could afford). They will get all their sacraments. There were a few reasons:

1. Although I very strongly believe that morality and religion are not mutually exclusive, most of the basic concepts religion teaches (don't murder, respect parents, etc) are things that we believe in. I feel that it is good for kids to learn these morals in a structured way by someone other than their parents.

2. It is probably more common now, but when we were growing up, kids raised without a religion felt left out. I don't want that for my kids.

3. Knowledge is always power. When my daughter comes home and talks about things she learned in Pre-K about religion, we talk about it. She know her dad does not believe in God, and we have talked about acceptance and tolerance. Right now, she says that she wants to believe in God and we tell her that is wonderful. I have asked her if she wants me to bring her to church and she says no, so I haven't, although I will if she wants me to. Even though she doesn't understand everything, I think it is a valuable concept to learn, even at such a young age: that good people can disagree about things, and that she should question what she is being taught (respectfully).

On a side note, my 4 year old is obsessed with evolution (we are frequent visitors to the Museum of Natural History). When her teacher talked about how people were created, she asked about evolution, and the teacher, thankfully, told her that perhaps that is how God created us. To me, this is a sign that what we are doing is working.

I do have to say that it has been a little strange to hear her talking openly about God and Jesus, things that we never really discuss. As long as you are honest with your kids, I think that either choice will work for you.

Re: Need Insight - Religion and Children

Re: Need Insight - Religion and Children

I'm going through the same thing right now except I'm trying to decide if I should continue to send my DD. I sent her because I thought it was the right thing to do and my parents attend mass weekly (I haven't in ages) so I thought I should for "them". But after going through this year, I don't think she is even getting out of it what she should as we don't attend mass weekly.

The irony of this for me is that I sent my DD because I thought I should and for my parents, but they won't even be here for her first communion..they'll be in Hawaii.

Need Insight - Religion and Children

If you aren't religious and don't feel comfortable with the ideology behind the religion then why would you want to expose your child to it ?

Re: Need Insight - Religion and Children

I do not have children. I was raised by an Agnostic and an Atheist. I identify as Atheist.
My parents exposed us to religion. They felt it was important that we understood that a majority of people we will come into contact in our lives will believe/practice some sort of religion. I learned about Catholicism, Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Episcopal, Unitarians, Evangelicals, Mormons, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddists etc ( you get the picture). She taught us about the cultural impacts of each group. We even went to some services, so we would understand the rituals better. We read about religions and discussed religion. Probably way more than most families who dutifully plodded to Sunday services. We were also taught that being raised this way was unusual and that there will always be those out there who feel morally superior, intellectually superior and culturally superior to us because they "believe" in a certain dogma. I have found that I tend to be way more respectful peoples' religious beliefs way more than they respect my nonbelief of any god or religion.
I think that if you are uncomfortable with the whole organized Catholic religion education thing , don't put your kid through it "just because that's what people do". You are just going to confuse her.
You are more than capable to teach her about religions etc. The good, the bad and the ugly. Just be aware, that you have to give her some kind of knowledge so she can navigate through life. Total ignorance of religions and the roles religions plays in ALL of our lives, whether we want it to or not, isn't good.

I agree with Goldenrod, that if you really feel you need to give her a religious identity you might want to look into Unitarian Universalists. When I got married, we had a UU minister do it so my MIL would quit freaking out about not having a "religious ceremony". To this day, my MIL has not realized that the UU minister did not mention Jesus or God once in the entire ceremony (per my request). My point being, the minister was very accepting of my nonbelief and my DH's "I don't what I believe, I'm just hedging my bets" attitude.

Sorry if this post is rambling, I'm having a slightly scattered kind of day.

Re: Need Insight - Religion and Children

Message edited 4/23/2014 8:45:05 PM.

Re: Need Insight - Religion and Children

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by GoldenRod

Unitarian Universalist might be a good starting point. We're not religious, but DW and I are looking into them. They accept people of all belief backgrounds. Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Agnostics, Atheists, etc. It would be a good way to get exposure to a lot of cultures and belief systems, but not be forced into a particular doctrine that you don't believe.

Thank you. I will do a little research to get an idea of what it is all about.

Message edited 4/23/2014 9:06:58 PM.