Did your third child send you over the edge?

This has been a very strange week...I ran into three different moms who are on their third child....the first one was glowing and seemingly adjusting very well to her third child...the second mom said it was much harder than she had thought but what could she do now? send him back...laughing as she said it and she did conclude that she knew the hard part was now and that it would get easier and then the third mom who I met last night and hadn't seen in about 2 years was / is really struggling with her third...she was a surprise - her first two kids were IVF so this was a major surprise..she whispered to me that it was really, really hard and that if I was contemplating it to definitely not to do it as it was much much harder than she had imagined when she was pregnant.

So where do you fall if you have a third?

Message edited 8/7/2013 9:02:26 PM.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I only have one but yes

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

So funny because I was thinking of posting the same thing. Last week I saw friends who have 3 kids and they also said similar things. Now, they are very close in age so I think that has something to do with it. We are expecting lo #2 soon so if we go for 3 it's not for a while.

I recently read an article that said 3 is the most stressful. You're outnumbered, even crossing the street is hard Bc you only have 2 hands lol

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Having three is hard. My kids are 5,3 and 12 weeks. When the older ones are having a good day it is great but when they aren't it gets downright ugly. Sometimes I want to run away There is just not enough of me to go around. The older two always seem to need me when the baby is either eating or screaming. I feel guilty all the time that I don't have the time or the patience to give them all the attention they want. It isn't so bad when DH is home but it is going to get even harder when I go back to work in September. I wouldn't trade them for the world but every time I see a friend that told me having three was a piece of cake I want to punch them in the face

Message edited 8/7/2013 10:47:41 PM.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Sometimes yes.....however I wouldn't change a thing!!!
I have a 4 month old and 2.5 year old twins...so not the everyday 3 kids.
Sometimes things go smoothly, sometimes it is plain old insanity in my house. The twins can fight at times which can be rough. 2 year old whining times two. The baby is the easy one.
I drink a lot of wine and for the first time in my life I have accepted the fact that sometimes I need help and there are definitely things I can't do with them on my own.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I'm newly into my life with a third, but honestly, it's been better than I anticipated! My girls are a bit older so they get that sometimes the baby needs me. It's been so smooth that we have pretty much decided on a fourth (though we were pretty sure we would do it anyway). I know some people say that the third pushes them over the edge, but it hasn't been the case for us. I don't have much help during the day either, but I have been blessed with a content baby who goes along with what I need to do with my older two.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

In a word, no, cause I'm still here!

I always say I never knew how easy I had it with two until I had the third! But I have twins and the baby is so super easy going so I am very lucky. Just hard when I have 3 meltdowns at the same time, crying everywhere, and only 1 mommy. Thank goodness for me it doesn't happen too often or I would really lose my mind.

But my twins are 20 months and the baby is 3 months. I think if they were a little older, it'd be a different story!

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I think having the third definitely made my house a lot more crazy. I have twins that will be 3 next month and a 14 month old. They each take turns being the difficult one for the day. But other times it's great because there's 3 of them to play together. Not going to lie though, Im very much looking forward to the 3 days a week my twins will be going to school for in the fall. Being able to go shopping with just ONE kid?!? Yes please! As crazy and frustrating as it is sometimes I wouldn't change anything even if I was able to see ahead of how things were going to be.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

If you would have asked me when my third first came home I probably would have said yes. I had a really hard time adjusting to 3. My kids are fairly close in age (4,2 and 6 months) my husband works nights and I didn't have much help not to mention he was my third NICU baby that I had to get to stop taking BM from bottles and get used to nursing.
A couple months later and I think it's not that bad. My house is a little crazier and getting out the house alone is interesting but we do it.
I wouldn't change it for the world and they will love it when they get older.
We are almost positive we will have a 4th wondering how that will go

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Right now it's fairly easy, but he's only 11 days old lol. The hardest part is that I'm pumping every 3 hrs..when dh is working it can be tricky if the baby wakes up while I'm pumping and I don't know what to do first lol. But so far so good..I've taken them all to the park, mall, and heading to long beach to see my mom for a few days (I live in md). Makes me kinda want a 4th lol but the shop must be closed..

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

We have and I don't think it's harder than having two LOs but it does take us a LOT longer to get out of the house. #3 was a big surprise for us and we were concerned that it would be really hard but he is a huge blessing for our family. To see all three interact with each other and to always have instant playmates/playdates is great. Last night, 5yo DS actually picked out his 3yo brother's PJs and clothes for today - it actually made me weepy because they care about each other so much. They get upset when another one is in trouble or is having a "quonsequence" for bad behavior. They're three peas in a pod and I love it.

ETA: Enjoy your showers now because with three, I'm finding it very difficult to shower when they're awake and no one else is home.

Message edited 8/8/2013 9:30:42 AM.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I always wonder the same thing bc I really want to go for a third. We have two girls now, 3 and 1 and ideally I'd like a third when they are 5 and 3 (and in school!). I just dread the days when I'm losing my mind with all three and wondering if I got myself in over my head!

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Posted by ko123

I always wonder the same thing bc I really want to go for a third. We have two girls now, 3 and 1 and ideally I'd like a third when they are 5 and 3 (and in school!). I just dread the days when I'm losing my mind with all three and wondering if I got myself in over my head!

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Posted by ko123

I always wonder the same thing bc I really want to go for a third. We have two girls now, 3 and 1 and ideally I'd like a third when they are 5 and 3 (and in school!). I just dread the days when I'm losing my mind with all three and wondering if I got myself in over my head!

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I have a 6yo, 3yo and a 4mo old. This third one really threw us for loop. She doesn't "go with the flow" as well as I thought she would. My second was so easy I was spoiled! She is having trouble self soothing and i dont have time to go through a whole napping/nightly routine with her when my older two need my attention. We haven't had much of a concrete routine because of Summer so I'm really hoping things get better when school starts.

I've never regretted having a third. Her smiles (she's instantly happy when she has my attention) make it all melt away.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Thank you for this post!! I have two, and they are 4.5 and almost 3, and I think about going for #3 almost daily!

The thing is, it is *just* getting easier with my two... and I'm not sure I want to upset the balance we have finally gotten used to. I am so torn... I know they say you will never regret it.

I think part of me is still scarred by the colic DS #1 had, lol!

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Not over the edge.

Mine are 5.5 yo, 3 yo, and 16 months.

The beginning was easy. Now, I am starting to feel it. Having my oldest home from school. The older 2 fight. Now the youngest started fighting. They all constantly want something. Trying to keep them busy and keep the house up. By the end of the day, I'm done. The youngest doesn't want to hang in the stroller anymore, she wants to play. Which is understandable. But play dates out gave me a break from my older 2 and now the little one wants to tag along. Tiring.

BUT! I know by next year it will be better. They will all be more independent. Just waiting for that.

Message edited 8/8/2013 10:50:13 AM.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I sure hope not!! (Expecting #3 in a few weeks)

DH has heard plenty of horror stories from the other Dad's he knows that have 3.

I'm not too worried though.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

my friend has 3 boys. 2 was hard for her but she loved 3. the third gave her peace and they seem to be the closest.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

Not really. It was definitely harder going from 2 to 3 for me, but not so bad. In fact, I just had #4 - if I was so bad I never would have went for another. 3 to 4 is nothing o far but y on is ony a week old Ask me again about 4 once he's mobile!

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I can't speak from experience, I only have two. But, every mom I talk to seems happy with three. However, when I ask the dads I get a whole different story. I don't know why. My dh would love more, but I'm scared.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

These posts scare me a bit. I really want to go for #3 but I'd want DD to be 5 and DS 3 when the 3rd arrives. I *thought* those ages would make it doable but it sounds like a lot of people still have a rough time. I am scared of how nuts it will be but I just can't imagine not having another baby eventually.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?

I really think it comes down to the type of parent you are and how you handle situations. It was easy or me and I fell into a routine right away. I also didn't have help, my 3rd was born in the middle of the school year and my older 2 were in nursery and pre-k so I already had a routine going.

I am pretty laid back, I tune so much nonsense out, I do not let my kids stress me out. I look at it like when I had a job and my boss threw more stuff at me. I knew I could do it and needed to adjust my day to accommodate it.

Are there days that I want to pull my hair out, yes, but I notice it is when I have other things going on that are mentally exhausting me that, that is when I feel overwhelmed. Never just from the kids.

I was friends with a mom who went from 1-3 (her first and then twins were 28 months apart). She went over the edge. It took her a very long time to adjust. She is a very different type of parent than I am though.

Re: Did your third child send you over the edge?