Re: OMG tell me I am not the only parent

Posted by VTTG0609

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by meloyellow

I don't subscribe to the belief that the lack of spanking is why children are disrespectful. I was BEATEN as a child (bloody noses, bumps, belt marks) it didn't make me behave better...it made me learn to be sneakier so I wouldn't get caught.

I don't want my child to fear me...I want him to respect me.

Every time spanking gets brought up someone always references full on beating. Beating a child is a completely different thing than spanking. Anytime a parent loses control or reacts in anger it is abusive, and almost everyone agrees with that.

Personally, I was talking about having consistent rules with clear consequences for not following those rules. If my daughter starts biting other kids and time outs aren't working, I should be able to administer whatever consequence has been decided on and made clear to her. It's far from abusive, and it's for her own good (and the good of her victims). Kids learn very quickly who is in control and I've seen first hand situations where the kids are most definitely running the show. If time outs and taking away toys works for my kids, great! If not I'm not going to be afraid to go further.

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Re: OMG tell me I am not the only parent

Posted by alli3131

Posted by VTTG0609

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by meloyellow

I don't subscribe to the belief that the lack of spanking is why children are disrespectful. I was BEATEN as a child (bloody noses, bumps, belt marks) it didn't make me behave better...it made me learn to be sneakier so I wouldn't get caught.

I don't want my child to fear me...I want him to respect me.

Every time spanking gets brought up someone always references full on beating. Beating a child is a completely different thing than spanking. Anytime a parent loses control or reacts in anger it is abusive, and almost everyone agrees with that.

Personally, I was talking about having consistent rules with clear consequences for not following those rules. If my daughter starts biting other kids and time outs aren't working, I should be able to administer whatever consequence has been decided on and made clear to her. It's far from abusive, and it's for her own good (and the good of her victims). Kids learn very quickly who is in control and I've seen first hand situations where the kids are most definitely running the show. If time outs and taking away toys works for my kids, great! If not I'm not going to be afraid to go further.

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Apples and oranges. Spanking is not beating. They are completely 2 different things.

Just like to me there is a big difference between a drop of pepper sauce or a drop of soap and a mouth full.

One is abuse IMO and the other is not.

Message edited 6/20/2013 1:44:43 PM.

Re: OMG tell me I am not the only parent

just wanted to add, I've definitely swatted my sons behind when I've felt that other methods weren't working, so I'm not judging anyone for that...I'm only saying I personally don't feel it worked and that there are other options. But hey, that's just me and this is my opinion. What he did respond to was having things taken away, being put in time out and asked to count to 10 (he's almost 2).

things are not like they used to be...now people go to jail for things that were once considered normal parenting tactics.

Message edited 6/20/2013 2:04:14 PM.

Re: OMG tell me I am not the only parent

I got BIT after I bit someone. And got MY HAIR PULLED after I pulled my sister's hair. Never did either again. Guess I learned a lesson and grew into a pretty decent human being/adult. Go figure!

Might not be my methods but I don't see those presented as abuse. And I'm sure they aren't the first methods those parents tried. Some kids need some harsher methods.