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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Question for working moms
I've been back at work now full time for 2 months (although it feels like 2 years). DH's family watches DS, but I still cry almost every day when I have to get up and go to work and drop him off. I feel like I've turned into a completely miserable person until I pick him up and go home.
Is this normal? Will it take more time for me to feel better? I've never wished to get laid off before so much in my life!
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Posted 5/22/13 11:27 AM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Question for working moms
I dont cry but i have to force myself to walk out the door everyday... and i refuse to do anything on the weekdays after work because i hate that i spend so much time away from her! shes 3 months!
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:29 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by AngnShaun
I dont cry but i have to force myself to walk out the door everyday... and i refuse to do anything on the weekdays after work because i hate that i spend so much time away from her! shes 3 months!
That's exactly how I am. I won't do anything after work or on the weekend without him!
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:30 AM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Question for working moms
 I'm sorry that you are still feeling that way.
I always knew I had to go back to work, so I kind of made it a game for myself and tried to find all the reasons why it rocked- here are some of mine
-peeing alone (ds still loves to sit on my lap when I am home when I use the bathroom  )
-getting dressed up and wearing heels
-finishing my coffee
-having adult conversation
-someone wanting me for more than just my boobs (I was bf'ing at the time)
-money! ability to pay for soccer lessons, swim lessons, music classes, family vacations (we couldnt have on just dh's salary)
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:32 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Question for working moms
yes, I was like that in the beginning. I think it just takes some time..hang in there!!
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:32 AM |
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babycrazed
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/12 475 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by AngnShaun
I dont cry but i have to force myself to walk out the door everyday... and i refuse to do anything on the weekdays after work because i hate that i spend so much time away from her! shes 3 months!
That's exactly how I am. I won't do anything after work or on the weekend without him!
same here. I wont even run any errands before I go home. I'll pick her up and take her with me. the added inconvenience of loading her in and out of the car for quick stops and having it take an hour instead of 10 minutes is worth it to me.
Message edited 5/22/2013 11:35:05 AM.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:33 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
I'm sorry that you are still feeling that way.
I always knew I had to go back to work, so I kind of made it a game for myself and tried to find all the reasons why it rocked- here are some of mine
-peeing alone (ds still loves to sit on my lap when I am home when I use the bathroom )
-getting dressed up and wearing heels
-finishing my coffee
-having adult conversation
-someone wanting me for more than just my boobs (I was bf'ing at the time)
-money! ability to pay for soccer lessons, swim lessons, music classes, family vacations (we couldnt have on just dh's salary)
and can I add...eating. I never could have a full meal when I am home. I actually eat my lunch at work!
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:34 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
I'm sorry that you are still feeling that way.
I always knew I had to go back to work, so I kind of made it a game for myself and tried to find all the reasons why it rocked- here are some of mine
-peeing alone (ds still loves to sit on my lap when I am home when I use the bathroom )
-getting dressed up and wearing heels
-finishing my coffee
-having adult conversation
-someone wanting me for more than just my boobs (I was bf'ing at the time)
-money! ability to pay for soccer lessons, swim lessons, music classes, family vacations (we couldnt have on just dh's salary)
and can I add...eating. I never could have a full meal when I am home. I actually eat my lunch at work!
LOL these made me laugh, esp the bathroom one because I have done that many times..
I know, I keep trying to reassure myself that I have to work to be able to provide him with things he wants and will value (such as vacations, etC)... It's just so hard 
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:37 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
I'm sorry that you are still feeling that way.
I always knew I had to go back to work, so I kind of made it a game for myself and tried to find all the reasons why it rocked- here are some of mine
-peeing alone (ds still loves to sit on my lap when I am home when I use the bathroom )
-getting dressed up and wearing heels
-finishing my coffee
-having adult conversation
-someone wanting me for more than just my boobs (I was bf'ing at the time)
-money! ability to pay for soccer lessons, swim lessons, music classes, family vacations (we couldnt have on just dh's salary)
and can I add...eating. I never could have a full meal when I am home. I actually eat my lunch at work!
LOL these made me laugh, esp the bathroom one because I have done that many times..
I know, I keep trying to reassure myself that I have to work to be able to provide him with things he wants and will value (such as vacations, etC)... It's just so hard
Also this is your first right? i think theres a difference between us having our first and than when its a 2nd or 3rd...
ETA: as far as that quality alone time goes, not that youre ok leaving them!
Message edited 5/22/2013 11:39:55 AM.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:39 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
I'm sorry that you are still feeling that way.
I always knew I had to go back to work, so I kind of made it a game for myself and tried to find all the reasons why it rocked- here are some of mine
-peeing alone (ds still loves to sit on my lap when I am home when I use the bathroom )
-getting dressed up and wearing heels
-finishing my coffee
-having adult conversation
-someone wanting me for more than just my boobs (I was bf'ing at the time)
-money! ability to pay for soccer lessons, swim lessons, music classes, family vacations (we couldnt have on just dh's salary)
and can I add...eating. I never could have a full meal when I am home. I actually eat my lunch at work!
LOL these made me laugh, esp the bathroom one because I have done that many times..
I know, I keep trying to reassure myself that I have to work to be able to provide him with things he wants and will value (such as vacations, etC)... It's just so hard
Also this is your first right? i think theres a difference between us having our first and than when its a 2nd or 3rd...
ETA: as far as that quality alone time goes, not that youre ok leaving them!
Yeah he's my first
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:40 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by AngnShaun
Also this is your first right? i think theres a difference between us having our first and than when its a 2nd or 3rd...
ETA: as far as that quality alone time goes, not that youre ok leaving them!
Yeah he's my first
Mine too
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:41 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Question for working moms
can I tell you something funny.....
My cousin's husband told me that when my cousin went back to work after her first she was so upset..crying..
when she was going back after baby#2, she was skipping out the door with a big smile on her face...
I know he is probably being dramatic, but it made me laugh!
Message edited 5/22/2013 11:43:14 AM.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:42 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by forevermylilgirls
can I tell you something funny.....
My cousin's husband told me that when my cousin went back to work after her first she was so upset..crying..
when she was going back after baby#2, she was skipping out the door with a big smile on her face...
I know he is probably being dramatic, but it made me laugh!
lol im sure on some level it is easier to go... im sure most peoples paying jobs are less work than being a sahm lol
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:45 AM |
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MrsV41511
LIF Infant
Member since 2/11 129 total posts
Name:
Diane
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Re: Question for working moms
I feel the same way...but I also have off in the summer so it hasn't been too bad. I do cry here and there still when I leave though. It sux!!!! But I look at it like this... If I didn't work I wouldn't be able to have a house on Long Island, I won't be able to afford what my children want when they are older, I would like to pay for their college so they don't have loans and they can live a little easier, I also work so I can take care if her children when she has them!
And I keep playing lotto and pray I win so I don't have to work!!!
I'm sure it'll get easier
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| Posted 5/22/13 12:28 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Question for working moms
It never got easier for me but I did kind of get used to it I guess, its a routine I have to get through and thats that. Hugs for you, I know how hard it is!
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| Posted 5/22/13 12:48 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Question for working moms
I think it really depends on the person. I never wanted to stay home. I was looking forward to going back to work. I am not sayign I don't have days that I miss DS I absolutely do but I also love beign at work.
So I think it really depends on you.....do you really not want to work....then you might have a hard time. If you are ok with working then it is probably more of just an adjustment period.
It also helps my daycare post pics all the time and the days he is with my ILs they send pics.
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| Posted 5/22/13 1:38 PM |
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luvmotherhood
california dreamin'
Member since 2/13 1443 total posts
Name:
love my family!
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Question for working moms
It hasn't really got easier. But unfortunately I can't afford to not work full time or else I would def work pt to have more time with her.
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| Posted 5/22/13 1:50 PM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by luvmotherhood
It hasn't really got easier. But unfortunately I can't afford to not work full time or else I would def work pt to have more time with her.
these are the days I wish I became a teacher.
There's rumors in my job about big layoffs, so I might just try to stick it out then try to find something part time.
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| Posted 5/22/13 1:52 PM |
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Mariabella
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 951 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by forevermylilgirls
can I tell you something funny.....
My cousin's husband told me that when my cousin went back to work after her first she was so upset..crying..
when she was going back after baby#2, she was skipping out the door with a big smile on her face...
I know he is probably being dramatic, but it made me laugh!
This was me 5 months ago!
For all the reasons that were listed. I get to eat alone, go to the bathroom alone, shop alone. It's exhausting being home with a 3 year old who is non stop & a baby. I miss my kids everyday of course but I like having a little "me" time. I even go to the gym during my lunch hour. As everyone said it does get better. 
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| Posted 5/22/13 2:20 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by Mariabella
Posted by forevermylilgirls
can I tell you something funny.....
My cousin's husband told me that when my cousin went back to work after her first she was so upset..crying..
when she was going back after baby#2, she was skipping out the door with a big smile on her face...
I know he is probably being dramatic, but it made me laugh!
This was me 5 months ago!
For all the reasons that were listed. I get to eat alone, go to the bathroom alone, shop alone. It's exhausting being home with a 3 year old who is non stop & a baby. I miss my kids everyday of course but I like having a little "me" time. I even go to the gym during my lunch hour. As everyone said it does get better.
absolutely! I feel the same way!
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| Posted 5/22/13 2:36 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by alli3131
I think it really depends on the person. I never wanted to stay home. I was looking forward to going back to work. I am not sayign I don't have days that I miss DS I absolutely do but I also love beign at work.
So I think it really depends on you.....do you really not want to work....then you might have a hard time. If you are ok with working then it is probably more of just an adjustment period.
It also helps my daycare post pics all the time and the days he is with my ILs they send pics.
This!
I couldn't wait to go back to work. I missed the adult interaction, the me time, the getting dressed up, the intellectual challenges -so much.
I was actually starting to get depressed towards the end of my maternity leave.
I'd be miserable if I had to stay home.
So it's really more of an indiviual thing I think.
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| Posted 5/22/13 2:38 PM |
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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
Name:
Shiv
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Re: Question for working moms
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
I'm sorry that you are still feeling that way.
I always knew I had to go back to work, so I kind of made it a game for myself and tried to find all the reasons why it rocked- here are some of mine
-peeing alone (ds still loves to sit on my lap when I am home when I use the bathroom )
-getting dressed up and wearing heels
-finishing my coffee
-having adult conversation
-someone wanting me for more than just my boobs (I was bf'ing at the time)
-money! ability to pay for soccer lessons, swim lessons, music classes, family vacations (we couldnt have on just dh's salary)
ITA agree this is how you have to think of it- don't let yourself get upset as you've made the choice to continue working and its only hurting you by having a negative attitude about it. Think positvely about all the ways work is benefiting you and your family.
I never made it a choice- because I'm not choosing between my family and work, I'm chossing both and have made it work very well. Yes I would LOVE more time with my kids, but I'm doing what I need to for my family and the time I have with them is really good quality time.
Good luck!!
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| Posted 5/22/13 2:52 PM |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for working moms
My Son will be 5 months Friday; and I will be back to work a little over 2 months now.
I haven't actually cried; but have come close to getting choked up and then I hold my tears back. I miss my baby boy SO much every day when I'm at work. I hate being away from him. I don't want to do things over the weekend either because I already feel like I'm away from him so much during the week. I love that when I pick him up he smiles from ear to ear; but I wish I could spend every day with him. I can't say it will get easier; because I was actually ok coming back to work at first; but now as each week passes and he's doing more and more I get sad and miss the time I had home with him during my maternity leave :(
ETA: I didn't have a choice; we cannot afford for me to stay home. BUt like PP said; having my salary allows us to travel (we just came back from Barbados); I can put DS in music class; and am planning on signing us up for Mommy & Baby yoga. Things we couldn't do together if I wasn't making my salary!
Message edited 5/22/2013 3:15:59 PM.
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| Posted 5/22/13 3:13 PM |
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whyteach
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2697 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Question for working moms
Yes, I was like that for quite a while but eventually you do get in a routine. Your mind is never 100% on work anymore. I'm a teacher and I've made it a point to do all my work before school, during preos and lunch so I very rarely bring work home with me. It takes time, but you will adjust!
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| Posted 5/22/13 8:44 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Question for working moms
I feel the same way. I've been back at work for 3 months and it feels like forever
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| Posted 5/22/13 9:32 PM |
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