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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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"I don't want to" ...help me deal
DS will be 22 months and just this past week he keeps repeating "I don't want to" for EVERYTHING. It is really pushing my patience BC the way I was raised I would have no teeth if i said that...but...he's only 21 months and I'm trying to be better at communicating with my son and parent differently than how i was raised. Am I the only one with a 21 month old saying "I don't want to"? it seems too early for this crap! I don't even let him watch caillou bc of that!
Message edited 5/3/2013 10:41:56 PM.
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Posted 5/3/13 10:41 PM  |
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Yeah our sweet little angel flips the brat switch too lol
when he pulls an 'I dont want to' I usually ask him why?
Figuring that he can't always express himself, I try and fill in the blank
'is it because you want to play with your toys?'
(yes)
'I see. Well it's time to do X. When we're done, you can play with your toys again'/whatever works
If he throws a big fit, he goes into the penalty box (crib, lol) for a minute or two
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| Posted 5/4/13 7:58 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Posted by anonymoususer
Yeah our sweet little angel flips the brat switch too lol
when he pulls an 'I dont want to' I usually ask him why?
Figuring that he can't always express himself, I try and fill in the blank
'is it because you want to play with your toys?'
(yes)
'I see. Well it's time to do X. When we're done, you can play with your toys again'/whatever works
If he throws a big fit, he goes into the penalty box (crib, lol) for a minute or two
DS is 2.5, and i do something similar. "I know you want to play with your toys. But right now its time to...." It kind of lets them know you understand why they're mad, so they feel a little bit better. LOL
OR I'll give him a simple "timeline". like I'll tell him "shoes on. Then store. Then home to play with your toys again". if he starts to get upset again while we're out, i'll just repeat the "timeline". like "remember... mommy said store then home to play with your toys again..." that way he knows that hes gonna get a chance to do what he wants to do, but we have stuff we have to do first.
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| Posted 5/4/13 9:14 AM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
That's what I thought was the right way to handle it but when i try he just keeps saying "I don't want to" and then I ended up raising my voice after like the 5th time and then he screams and throws a tantrum.
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| Posted 5/4/13 10:31 AM |
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Posted by ml110
DS is 2.5, and i do something similar. "I know you want to play with your toys. But right now its time to...." It kind of lets them know you understand why they're mad, so they feel a little bit better. LOL
OR I'll give him a simple "timeline". like I'll tell him "shoes on. Then store. Then home to play with your toys again". if he starts to get upset again while we're out, i'll just repeat the "timeline". like "remember... mommy said store then home to play with your toys again..." that way he knows that hes gonna get a chance to do what he wants to do, but we have stuff we have to do first.
All us speech people are alike lol
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| Posted 5/4/13 12:54 PM |
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
There is no right way- it's whatever works for you guys
Try not to get upset and try to remember it's really hard to reason with a baby!
After the 'I don't want to' that breaks the camels back, maybe walk away for a sec, think about that munchkins smile and let him walk all over you... No wait, that's me
LOL
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| Posted 5/4/13 12:57 PM |
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whoababy1
Love my little girls <3
Member since 8/10 1418 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
DD is 25 months and just switched from "I don't want to" to I don't HAVE to".
It's really great. I try to ignore it. Address it calmly. Doesn't always work. I sound like my mother "yes you HAVE to b/c I said so"
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| Posted 5/4/13 1:21 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Thanks ladies! I'm feeling better about it today. Must have really just reached the end of my rope yesterday and needed to vent
After thinking about it and talking to DH about it I think I need to look at it more as "just a phrase he learned" and is expressing and less of an act of disrespect. We just have to catch ourselves bc we were both raised very "old school" and we are programmed to look at things as "disobedience and disrespect" when really...he's only 21 months...I really don't think it's that at all.
It's good to know i'm not alone though bc for some reason I thought this " I don't want to" business was coming way later...like 3.5- 4 or something.
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| Posted 5/4/13 4:20 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
well at least he has 4 word sentences that early  gotta look at the bright side!
DD is almost 24m and she just screams NOOOOO. sometimes its a scream, sometimes its a b!tchy snarl, and other times its this hilarious deep voiced NO. i try to give her as many choices as possible so that she feels like she has SOME control cause at this age a lot of it is just that they are learning what they do/dont have control of.
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| Posted 5/4/13 9:48 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
No advice, sorry, I just wanted to comment that I'm super impressed that your 21-month old is saying a 4-word sentence.
Sorry he's being so obstinate, but he's clearly smart and knows what he wants!
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| Posted 5/5/13 12:25 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Posted by SummerMom
No advice, sorry, I just wanted to comment that I'm super impressed that your 21-month old is saying a 4-word sentence.
Sorry he's being so obstinate, but he's clearly smart and knows what he wants!
thank you! He is smart...surprises me all the time. hopefully he'll get tired of repeating that phrase.
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| Posted 5/5/13 7:55 PM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Totally! DD is 22 months tomorrow and her favorite phrase is "No mama!" She wants to do what she wants to do and that's it. Just yesterday I set up her breakfast on her table and she told me she wanted to sit on the couch and eat. I said no, you can eat at your table. So she gives me this look and then grabs her plate and climbs up on the couch. They're just exerting their independence and testing boundaries. I think it's normal.
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| Posted 5/6/13 8:49 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: "I don't want to" ...help me deal
Posted by anonymoususer
Posted by ml110
DS is 2.5, and i do something similar. "I know you want to play with your toys. But right now its time to...." It kind of lets them know you understand why they're mad, so they feel a little bit better. LOL
OR I'll give him a simple "timeline". like I'll tell him "shoes on. Then store. Then home to play with your toys again". if he starts to get upset again while we're out, i'll just repeat the "timeline". like "remember... mommy said store then home to play with your toys again..." that way he knows that hes gonna get a chance to do what he wants to do, but we have stuff we have to do first.
All us speech people are alike lol
HAHA i guess so!! 
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| Posted 5/6/13 9:00 AM |
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