Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

DH and I are supposed to go to France later this year. DH is going to a conference in Southern France. He wants to fly to Paris with me a few days earlier. I was planning to go to Paris for about 4 days and then DH could go to his conference.

I don't want to leave the boys. DH thinks we should leave them with grandparents and go.

Would you leave the boys?

I would rather go on vacation with them somewhere else. We are already going to Turks and Caicos with the kids and then will probably do a few road trips this summer. I just don't want to leave them.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

How old?

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Me personally, i probably couldn't do it. But i dont like leaving my kids for more than a night anywhere.

But that being said, if your comfortable with who you are leaving them with, and you've been away before for that long, I might entertain the idea. But in the end the whole other continent thing would probably bother me.

Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

ME personally couldnt travel that far without my DD. But that is just ME. DH actually feels the same way. But again, that is just us. I know people who would be totally fine. I just couldnt leave her.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I wouldn't want to leave them either. It's a personal decision and everyone is different. you'll get lots of opinions on this and none of them are wrong....

I am sure they will be fine with their grandparents but if in the end, you don't want to leave them, don't leave them.

Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I'm not sure. DH and I went to Montauk for our anniversary last summer for two nights. That was the first time we both left our girls and I was fine- wished we were gone longer. There is a possibility of us going to Mexico for a friends' destination wedding next year and DH is already worrying about being so far away from them. I'm not sure either one of us could go that far away from them...

Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

How old are they? I would go for five days max.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I would go. I left DS when he was 1 to go to DR with DH. We had a great time and while I missed DS so much it was great to get away for a while with DH and just relax. And you said you are planning trips with your DCs later in the year. Just my opinion but I think it is important to be able to get away and you know your kids will be in good hands.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I would be fine with going away for 4 days, but I personally wouldn't be comfortable going to Paris. Between the long flight and time zone differences, it could be hard to get back quickly if God forbid something happened.

If it were somewhere geographically closer and they were with grandparents, I would be ok with 4 days.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I would go.

We left our boys in october for a week in california (we had a wedding but extended trip for our anniversary). The boys were 4 1/2 and 10 months old. With their grandparents.

It's a 5 1/2 hour flight to CA. It's 6 hours to paris. I see no difference other than the ocean between them.

But we never get any help or any overnights either. So since this was probably our only opportunity... so we took it.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

For 4 days at those ages? 100% I would go. Especially to Paris. If it were a boring location maybe I wouldnt think it was worth it but I would absolutely go to Paris.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Last March DH and I went to Napa/Sonoma for a week - it was amazing.

I had anxiety about flying but other than that I was fine.

For some odd reason I'm weird about leaving the country w/o them though - as if the chances of something horrible happening are somehow higher ......I know they're not, but in my head it's somehow 'different'

Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

This sort of thing comes up all the time. What it comes down to is your comfort level. There is no right or wrong!

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

We left DD with grandparents to go to Venice (for DH work) and Paris. I had anxiety about it, even made a video and wrote her a letter in case I never came home. DH took me to Skyclub and put a cocktail in me before our flight and I started to get excited and relax. We had so much fun and it let us reconnect with each other as just us, not as mom and dad.

We left both our kids with grandparents to go to Jamaica for a week. DD was 4 and DS was 7 months. Again, I did the letters and video, but it was easier to leave. We enjoyed our time away and came back refreshed. We make it a priority to take a trip by ourselves every other year now.

If you have childcare you are comfortable with, I highly recommend going!

Eta: we would get free wi-fi and Skype home and that made the trip more enjoyable knowing I could talk to them when I needed to.

Message edited 2/6/2013 12:21:25 PM.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

Posted by Jugglemom

Posted by Salason

For 4 days at those ages? 100% I would go. Especially to Paris. If it were a boring location maybe I wouldnt think it was worth it but I would absolutely go to Paris.

I would definitely go! We try to go on a Trip just the two of us every year and it always involves a flight ; sometimes a long one. It is great for our relationship and let's us feel like we are dating again.

I ADORE my children and always miss them but I find that these trips revitalize our marriage and me.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I personally would not go. But I'm not comfortable with leaving my DS to go far away. God forbid something happened, getting back quickly would be impossible since the flight alone is long. Paris will always be there, you could go sometime in the future.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

If you are struggling with it, then you really won't be able to enjoy yourself. No one can convince you to go. You have to do what feels right for you.

For me, I wouldn't fly anywhere and leave my kids behind, but they are still very young. That may change when they get older.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I haven't left them with someone even over night but everyone is different and has a different comfort level. Do what your gut is telling you to do.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

We're going away for 4 days to st Lucia and leaving the girls with my parents. My husbands brother is getting married there. I cannot even begin to explain how nervous I am. I'm not looking fwd to going at all. I cry all the time thinking about not seeing their faces for 4 days. This is very morbid but I've written letters to each girl god forbid the worst should happen. I just can't imagine enjoying myself without them. If it wasn't for BIL wedding I would not be going. I would much rather travel with my kids.

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

I would go.

DH and I went on a 2 week European cruise this past November. My kids were 2.5 and 3.5. It was incredibly hard to leave them... I cried all the way to the airport (our ship left from Rome so we had to fly there) and had major anxiety in the months/weeks/days leading up to the trip. We even talked about canceling a couple of times. But we went and had the most amazing time. Of course I missed the kids every day, but I completely trusted the people caring for them (my parents) and knew that they would be just as well cared for as if I were there with them. DH and I had the opportunity to reconnect and get back to that time when it was just me and him and our love... it was fantastic to have that alone time with him.

I can completely understand where you're coming from but if I were you, I would definitely go. Hope this helps...

Re: Struggling with leaving the boys to go to Paris

If you don't want to leave them, don't.