Invalid topic.
| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
|
grandparents involvement
would you rather your parents/inlaws be
too much involved or too little involved in your kids lives?
|
Posted 12/6/12 11:55 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
EMS418
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 248 total posts
Name:
|
grandparents involvement
too involved. There is an easier way of having a conversation for them to tone it down. Hardier if they weren't involved telling them to be more involved
|
| Posted 12/6/12 12:01 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Underinvolved. I can't stand people all over me and in my business, and I don't agree it's an easy thing to fix.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 12:10 PM |
| |
|
Wishing4ababy
My life is complete!
Member since 1/07 2494 total posts
Name:
|
Re: grandparents involvement
My in laws are not involved at all and my parents are very much involved in my kids lives. I think it's much hardier trying to explain to my in laws they should be involved more, because my twins don't even know them and scream every time we see them, which is maybe once every two months.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 12:13 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: grandparents involvement
that's a tough one
I'd rather it be a nice mix.
I can't stand too much butting in in the raising of my child- but I want my parents and IL's to be involved with her and have a great relationship with her.
I guess if i had to choose - I'd say underinvolved- because I can't handle too much up in my face!
Luckily I have a great mix!
Message edited 12/6/2012 12:13:16 PM.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 12:13 PM |
| |
|
BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
|
Re: grandparents involvement
We have both.
My mom and MIL are both very involved in DS' life. We wouldn't have it any other way.
My FIL is non-existent (my father passed away). He has seen DS 3 times since he was born 2 years ago, and makes no effort to see him more.
DH has spoken to his father a few times about his lousy role as a grandfather, but nothing has changed. In the end my FIL is the one missing out, so I could care less. DH feels the same way.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 12:18 PM |
| |
|
Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: grandparents involvement
I need a mix. Otherwise I'd perfer inderinvolved. We have our own routine going and people trying to "help" us with the babies just hinders things and makes it worse. I'd say my parents are more involved so I let them in more. They ask if they should/can get something for the babies or how I'd like something done. Where ILs just assume and take things upon themselves to buy things that I want to be the one to buy for my kids or assume I'd do things like they did it back 30 yrs ago. It irks me so they don't get let in as much.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 12:53 PM |
| |
|
Cacarina
Two girls!
Member since 12/09 2971 total posts
Name:
Cari
|
grandparents involvement
Parents - too involved. ILs - too little involved.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 1:06 PM |
| |
|
Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Posted by Cacarina
Parents - too involved. ILs - too little involved.
In reality, I want both to be moderately involved, but I have to be in control. 
Message edited 12/6/2012 1:18:21 PM.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 1:12 PM |
| |
|
Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
|
Re: grandparents involvement
It depends on the grandparent, honestly.
My parents are very invovled, as they watch my DS 5 days a week. However, I don't find my mother to be pushy or condescending, so she's the type of grandparent that I don't mind being over involved. If I tell her no, she listens. She respects my DH and I and understands that we are the parents. What we say goes.
Some grandparents who are over-involved don't listen to the word no and act like they know better because they are older. When you have that type of grandparent, you kind of wish they were less involved. 
|
| Posted 12/6/12 1:22 PM |
| |
|
kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Posted by Wishing4ababy
My in laws are not involved at all and my parents are very much involved in my kids lives. I think it's much hardier trying to explain to my in laws they should be involved more, because my twins don't even know them and scream every time we see them, which is maybe once every two months.
I could have written this word for word (except mine aren't twins  )
|
| Posted 12/6/12 1:24 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Re: grandparents involvement
I dont know
I think its the grass is greener on the other side type thing.
My dad isn't in the state and neither is his mom. My dad has this STRANGE sense of honor that he wont interfer at all to the point of letting OTHERS enjoy AJ over him so he's not pushy. She's HIS only granddaughter! 
So I WANT my dad around her, talking to her, telling her stories, singing to her, etc. I want him MORE involved.
Even his mom, I'd like to be involved, she can teach AJ chinese (both the words and the traditions).
I get neither so I want MORE INVOLVED.
But I've never had anyone tell me how to raise my child that hasn't been shot down. I have no experience being frustrated that they wont listen (other than my aunt and we've solved that). Mostly my family lets me raise my kid how I see fit and the words "i told you so" are rarely used. Thanks, I know what you said, but I wanted to do it my way. They are also so much older and feel that things have changed so much they admit they dont know it all. which is nice.
I garauntee if they were all up in my face telling me how to live my life and raise my child, it would be a different story.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 1:33 PM |
| |
|
summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Posted by Cacarina
Parents - too involved. ILs - too little involved.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 1:55 PM |
| |
|
Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Posted by Goobster
Underinvolved. I can't stand people all over me and in my business, and I don't agree it's an easy thing to fix.
Same.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 3:47 PM |
| |
|
Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
|
Re: grandparents involvement
my MIL watches ds while I work- super involved and most times I like that but it also has its drawbacks
my parents see ds about 2x a month- they live a state away and still work f/t but I wish they could be more involved
|
| Posted 12/6/12 3:54 PM |
| |
|
LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Posted by Jenn627
Posted by Goobster
Underinvolved. I can't stand people all over me and in my business, and I don't agree it's an easy thing to fix.
Same.
Same with me.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 4:16 PM |
| |
|
MrsScott
So in Love
Member since 1/09 3356 total posts
Name:
Shawna
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Posted by Wishing4ababy
My in laws are not involved at all and my parents are very much involved in my kids lives. I think it's much hardier trying to explain to my in laws they should be involved more, because my twins don't even know them and scream every time we see them, which is maybe once every two months.
I am in this same situation but my mother in law is ignorant and believes that the granchildren are suppose to come and see the grandmother and not the other way around.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 4:27 PM |
| |
|
KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
|
Re: grandparents involvement
i have both worlds...and i rather too involved cause the other way makes me mad
|
| Posted 12/6/12 4:30 PM |
| |
|
Champ
2 little ladies
Member since 1/11 2918 total posts
Name:
Rose
|
Re: grandparents involvement
My parents are in Albany my inlaws are in fl. I would just love for someone to live local. Having any help would be so appreciated.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 9:56 PM |
| |
|
Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
|
grandparents involvement
I would rather them be too nvolved. It would hurt my feelins if they didn't make an effort.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 10:24 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: grandparents involvement
There is no pleasing the over involved. In my case they really only got involved when it was very convenient for them anyway and then they did not let up. My sister's in-laws are not very involved but she's an independent person and her life is tons easier that way. I don't have time to be a people pleaser anymore so my answer will be that I prefer under involved. I don't need the so-called help. I realize that there are ways to do it without being like my MIL but it was what it was.
|
| Posted 12/6/12 10:53 PM |
| |
|
2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
|
Re: grandparents involvement
Too involved.
|
| Posted 12/7/12 7:51 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: grandparents involvement
i'd wish for a happy medium.
i can't stand over-involved.
|
| Posted 12/7/12 8:16 AM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: grandparents involvement
I would prefer a happy medium.  Too much involvement and being in my face constantly would drive me insane to no end but too little involvement would bother me too. I need a nice balance. Be a part of our kids life but don't overtake our lives. KWIM?
|
| Posted 12/7/12 8:18 AM |
| |
|
aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
|
Re: grandparents involvement
I'd rather they were too involved.
My inlaws can drive me nuts.
BUT it's more important that they are around and present for my boys. My mom isn't in the picture (health wise) so they are the only grandparents they have.
I have very little family so i know how important family is, especially when you're a kid. So i'd rather deal with the crazies than not have them around at all.
|
| Posted 12/7/12 8:26 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
