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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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What are your thoughts on this?
I have a son, he is in mid-elementary school. He is asking to join the boy scouts bc his friend is in it. I love the program, but am SO torn. I just cannot reconcile letting him join a group that is openly intolerable of gays. I do not want to personally support a group, or have any of my children partake in a group that openly discriminates, yet the activities could be fun and beneficial for him. WWYD? Thoughts?
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Posted 11/22/12 12:16 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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What are your thoughts on this?
Message edited 11/22/2012 3:41:50 AM.
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| Posted 11/22/12 3:32 AM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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What are your thoughts on this?
At that age your son is too young to understand the concept behind your boycott. Unfortunatelty there are a lot of groups/places that are intolerable of certain groups. Personally I would let him join. He sees it as a way to be with his friend and would feel bad if he could not go. Especially since it is for a reason he probably would not understand.
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| Posted 11/22/12 7:39 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by ISpoilHim
At that age your son is too young to understand the concept behind your boycott. Unfortunatelty there are a lot of groups/places that are intolerable of certain groups. Personally I would let him join. He sees it as a way to be with his friend and would feel bad if he could not go. Especially since it is for a reason he probably would not understand.
Well said, ITA.
I'm sure you know that the Boy Scouts obviously don't teach those beliefs to the boys, and while I totally understand and agree with your feelings, the benefits that Boy Scouts does teach IMO far out weigh that negative.
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| Posted 11/22/12 7:54 AM |
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OffWithHerHead23
Keep passing the open windows
Member since 10/06 3627 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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What are your thoughts on this?
I'm with you. I wouldn't let my son be a member of the Boy Scouts. IMO, if its the view of "upper management", those views will eventually leak down to the lower ranks, KWIM? Additionally, I had heard from multiple sources that our school's pack was extremely mismanaged, very unorganized. I didn't care for the man running it. Also, it came out in the news the past few months that te BSA routinely covered up sex abuse allegations for decades. To me, that's not an organization I want my son to be a part of.
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| Posted 11/22/12 7:59 AM |
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Champ
2 little ladies
Member since 1/11 2918 total posts
Name:
Rose
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
absolutely not.
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| Posted 11/22/12 8:33 AM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
I used to be an absolute "no" on this, but now I'm mixed. The reason I'm on the fence is, I am a practicing Catholic. I send my children to Catholic school, I take the kids to Mass each Sunday, volunteer at church, etc. Even though I *100%* do not agree with the church's stance on homosexuality and would never teach those beliefs in my home, I feel that the wonderful experiences the children are having in Catholic school and the wonderful aspects of faith and belonging to a church outweigh the fact that I disagree with some of their philosophies.
So as time goes by, I've started to feel that way about Boy Scouts too. Thing is, DS's close friends don't seem to belong to it, so he hasn't expressed any interest.
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| Posted 11/22/12 9:20 AM |
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KPanas
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1691 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by ISpoilHim
At that age your son is too young to understand the concept behind your boycott. Unfortunatelty there are a lot of groups/places that are intolerable of certain groups. Personally I would let him join. He sees it as a way to be with his friend and would feel bad if he could not go. Especially since it is for a reason he probably would not understand.
I totally agree!
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| Posted 11/22/12 9:26 AM |
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Grill
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 994 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
It is precisely because he is so young and impressionable that I would NOT send him. Bigotry indoctrination starts from the top and trickles down to the littlest, listening minds in the most subtle ways. It doesn't have to be overt discrimination for them to pick up on such sentiments. It could be as simple as body language, the unspoken words which convey to a child that the recipient is unworthy of such simple respects. Organize a camping trip for your DS and his friends, let him play in the dirt, ask him to pack his own bag in the BSA spirit of "be prepared". There are things you can do to provide him with the same opportunities and experiences without the added stress of having to undue some very nasty lessons. Plus, he'll be safe from molesters too.
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| Posted 11/22/12 9:38 AM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by ISpoilHim
At that age your son is too young to understand the concept behind your boycott. Unfortunatelty there are a lot of groups/places that are intolerable of certain groups. Personally I would let him join. He sees it as a way to be with his friend and would feel bad if he could not go. Especially since it is for a reason he probably would not understand.
I agree. DH was a boy scout and he can't wait for DS to be old enough to join.
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| Posted 11/22/12 9:40 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
I spent my entire childhood in Boy Scouts, and DS is currently in it, and I'm a den leader as well. Upper Management ideas do not trickle down to the lower levels by any means, at least not for all Packs. That's like me saying that since the Catholic Church Upper Management protected child molesters, everyone who attends Catholic church must also.....
I'm greatly saddened by their public denouncement of gays, and I've even written to the council about my beliefs.
In Cub Scouts, the boys haven't hit puberty, so there really isn't a "straight" or "gay" issue yet. I'll have to see how Boy Scouts are in a couple of years.
Right now, I fully believe that the benefits outweigh the negatives for our particular case. I teach DS tolerance and acceptance, and we haven't come across an issue with an openly gay boy wanting to be in the Pack.
They are also very religious-based, which bothers me as well, but I've found ways of staying within their rules, and not going against my own beliefs.
At the local level, with the right leaders, it's a great organization. Our Pack tweaks the rules to stay within the boundaries of what we have to do, but we also adjust things to fit what works best for the Pack (in our Pack, jeans are OK for pants, instead of making the boys spend $$ on official Cub Scout pants).
It's a tough call for most people, and I do think about it often. Even though I'm heavily vested, I would have no problems pulling myself and DS out of Scouts if discrimination ever surfaced at our local level.
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| Posted 11/22/12 9:56 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by GoldenRod
I spent my entire childhood in Boy Scouts, and DS is currently in it, and I'm a den leader as well. Upper Management ideas do not trickle down to the lower levels by any means, at least not for all Packs. That's like me saying that since the Catholic Church Upper Management protected child molesters, everyone who attends Catholic church must also.....
I'm greatly saddened by their public denouncement of gays, and I've even written to the council about my beliefs.
In Cub Scouts, the boys haven't hit puberty, so there really isn't a "straight" or "gay" issue yet. I'll have to see how Boy Scouts are in a couple of years.
Right now, I fully believe that the benefits outweigh the negatives for our particular case. I teach DS tolerance and acceptance, and we haven't come across an issue with an openly gay boy wanting to be in the Pack.
They are also very religious-based, which bothers me as well, but I've found ways of staying within their rules, and not going against my own beliefs.
At the local level, with the right leaders, it's a great organization. Our Pack tweaks the rules to stay within the boundaries of what we have to do, but we also adjust things to fit what works best for the Pack (in our Pack, jeans are OK for pants, instead of making the boys spend $$ on official Cub Scout pants).
It's a tough call for most people, and I do think about it often. Even though I'm heavily vested, I would have no problems pulling myself and DS out of Scouts if discrimination ever surfaced at our local level.
This was REALLY helpful, thanks! Thanks to everyone for your opinions. A lot to think about.
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| Posted 11/22/12 10:00 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by GoldenRod
I spent my entire childhood in Boy Scouts, and DS is currently in it, and I'm a den leader as well. Upper Management ideas do not trickle down to the lower levels by any means, at least not for all Packs. That's like me saying that since the Catholic Church Upper Management protected child molesters, everyone who attends Catholic church must also.....
I'm greatly saddened by their public denouncement of gays, and I've even written to the council about my beliefs.
In Cub Scouts, the boys haven't hit puberty, so there really isn't a "straight" or "gay" issue yet. I'll have to see how Boy Scouts are in a couple of years.
Right now, I fully believe that the benefits outweigh the negatives for our particular case. I teach DS tolerance and acceptance, and we haven't come across an issue with an openly gay boy wanting to be in the Pack.
They are also very religious-based, which bothers me as well, but I've found ways of staying within their rules, and not going against my own beliefs.
At the local level, with the right leaders, it's a great organization. Our Pack tweaks the rules to stay within the boundaries of what we have to do, but we also adjust things to fit what works best for the Pack (in our Pack, jeans are OK for pants, instead of making the boys spend $$ on official Cub Scout pants).
It's a tough call for most people, and I do think about it often. Even though I'm heavily vested, I would have no problems pulling myself and DS out of Scouts if discrimination ever surfaced at our local level.
This was REALLY helpful, thanks! Thanks to everyone for your opinions. A lot to think about.
This was well said and definitely reassuring. DH was an eagle scout and he and his dad are both still occasionally involved with the boy scouts. I just assumed that if we have a son, he'll be involved if he wants to be but I think I'd have to find out about the local troops and leaders to make sure I agree with how things are run. I just wish the organization would reassess their views to be more in tune with today's society.
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| Posted 11/22/12 10:04 AM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
If my ds wants to join he can. It's not something I would sign him up for unless he asked.
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| Posted 11/22/12 10:14 AM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by MrsT809
I just wish the organization would reassess their views to be more in tune with today's society.
Why? The Church doesn't.
ETA: Yes, I would sign up my son. I agree with PP that this is not a lesson "taught" at each weekly meeting. I think that the good work that the Scouts do as a whole is worthwhile and teaches the kids invaluable lessons.
Message edited 11/24/2012 8:30:29 AM.
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| Posted 11/24/12 8:27 AM |
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What are your thoughts on this?
Like a pp said a lot of organizations feel like many churches and the BSA, but we still attend/go there. I will send him and we will discuss sexuality in our home. As for the comment he would be safe from child molesters, I found that a bit offensive. ANYONE could be a predator so to protect them they would need a bubble that also may exclude you. Family friends, parents of friends, parents themselves, church leaders, the random person, anybody could harm them.
I like what they do in the organization and I also agree it depends on the leaders and the pack in your area. Maybe ask to have your DH sit in on the local meeting and see how this pack is.
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| Posted 11/24/12 4:28 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by GoldenRod
I spent my entire childhood in Boy Scouts, and DS is currently in it, and I'm a den leader as well. Upper Management ideas do not trickle down to the lower levels by any means, at least not for all Packs. That's like me saying that since the Catholic Church Upper Management protected child molesters, everyone who attends Catholic church must also.....
I'm greatly saddened by their public denouncement of gays, and I've even written to the council about my beliefs.
In Cub Scouts, the boys haven't hit puberty, so there really isn't a "straight" or "gay" issue yet. I'll have to see how Boy Scouts are in a couple of years.
Right now, I fully believe that the benefits outweigh the negatives for our particular case. I teach DS tolerance and acceptance, and we haven't come across an issue with an openly gay boy wanting to be in the Pack.
They are also very religious-based, which bothers me as well, but I've found ways of staying within their rules, and not going against my own beliefs.
At the local level, with the right leaders, it's a great organization. Our Pack tweaks the rules to stay within the boundaries of what we have to do, but we also adjust things to fit what works best for the Pack (in our Pack, jeans are OK for pants, instead of making the boys spend $$ on official Cub Scout pants).
It's a tough call for most people, and I do think about it often. Even though I'm heavily vested, I would have no problems pulling myself and DS out of Scouts if discrimination ever surfaced at our local level.
I love this explanation mostly because its how I feel about church and I know one day AJ will want to go. I will let her but feel much the same as some may feel about boy scouts. The benefits vs the beliefs that contradict my own. Still I feel Boy Scouts gives so much to the boys. I do support them as much as I can. Both of my twin brothers were boys scouts.
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| Posted 11/24/12 6:54 PM |
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SecretTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 2284 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this?
I wouldn't. You got to stand for things in life. I also wouldn't want my dues or any fundraising money to support such an intolerant organization.
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| Posted 11/24/12 8:56 PM |
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