How did husband help with your newborn?

I was wondering how did your dh help with your newborn? I'm exclusively breastfeeding and I'm starting to pump and build a supply. My Dh works long hours but I need a break too so I'm wondering how did your dh help and does anyone have any advice for a first time mom on how to stay sane?

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I formula fed DS so it was easier for SO to help me but once you start pumping more I would break the nighttime up into shifts. Like he takes the baby from 11-3 and you take the baby from 3-7. Or vice versa with whatever hours work for you guys. Something like that allows you to get several hours of rest in a row and that really helped me when DS was a newborn.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I formula fed so it was a little different. DH did everything I did, even when he came home from work. He changed diapers, fed him, rocked him, played with him, EVERYTHING. Just because your DH left the house to go to work doesn't mean you weren't also working all day because you stayed home! Taking care of a newborn is probably harder than whatever it is that he's doing anyway. DH and I would split feedings into shifts. He would feed him at 10:00 so that I could go to bed around 9. He would also take the 1:00 shift (he goes to bed really late anyway). Then I would take the 4:00 shift. At that point, I would have gotten at least 6ish hours of sleep. That helped tremendously. We were lucky in that DS really fell into that schedule though. Good luck! The beginning is hard but remember, this too shall pass.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I formula feed. He did everything. All handson deck with twins.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I FF as well so he helped with night feedings..

he did laundry for me, made dinner quite often and cleaned the house. I seriously had to do nothing, he is very hands on!!

I would have to say I think the most important thing a husband can do when you have a newborn is to let you rest..whenever that may be. Just take over with the baby so you can sleep. Nothing is more valuable than rest!!

How did husband help with your newborn?

I breastfed from the beginning but pumped during the night feedings and morning feedings to make it easier for myself. I started it at the very beginning so DS would be used to the bottle too. I had no issues with him latching despite that. My DH is all hands on deck. He was up at every feeding even though he works 12 hour days. In the mornings, he gives DS his first bottle while I pump. I then go back to bed for an hour until he needs to leave for the train. He plays with him and puts him down for his first nap. I have DS all day and I work from home. DH eats his dinner at work or on the train and when he gets home at 7:15, he gives DS a bath and his bottle. He also puts DS to bed. He does that all by himself. I do little things to help DH with his schedule. His lunch and dinners are made 1 day in advance to save time and allow him to eat before coming home. While I would prefer to eat dinner together, it makes sense for him to eat before so he can help and spend a little time with DS. I see friends whose husbands would never help like that and I feel bad, its the only one I stay sane :)

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

How old is your baby? I EBF'd for 6 months, and now still BF my 18 month old. Building a frozen milk supply will def help. I had a ton of frozen milk (I also oddly enjoyed seeing how much milk I was producing). But yes, build a supply of milk. Then, have an agreement with your husband that one night (a weekend night or night when he won't have to work th enext day) that HE takes care of all that night's feedings. YOU sleep, go to the bathroom, and take care of only YOU. When the baby wakes through the night, he gets up, gets the milk ready,, feeds, changes if needed, & gets the baby to sleep (or stays up with him/her if need be, outside of your bedroom so you can rest). We rarely did this, but when I needed it, I insisted and it was FANTASTIC! You'd be surprised at how much one night of rest can do.

How did husband help with your newborn?

How old is you LO? For the first 2 weeks he did everything but feed the baby since I nursed. He did the diapers, dressing, rocking to sleep, laundry, dishes. After that I started to get a handle on things and got into somewhat of a routine after he was back at work. He continued to help with dishes, laundry, diapers, and just general soothing DD. At night I tried to let him sleep since he was working. He would take DD around 7am after I fed her to let me sleep a bit. He would hang with her while drinking his coffee and stuff and then get her to sleep and put her back in the bassinet. She would then sleep until around 9 many mornings. Those few hours of sleep were so helpful for me.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

When DD was born my DH took two weeks off. We took turns throughout the night with feedings and being up with her. Throughout the day he held her a lot, did diaper changes, and helped with anything else I needed. Once he went back to work I took over all the overnight feedings but on Friday and Saturday nights he would take turns with me so I could get some sleep. When he came home from work he would do the last two feedings of the night and again, help me as needed. He was really, really great when she born.

I was also recovering from a C section so he did a lot for me too........ran errands, cleaned the house, etc. He really made my life a lot easier in those first few weeks.

How did husband help with your newborn?

I needed my pumped milk for when i went back to work, so he did everything but feed them. Housework was huge--laundry, dishes, etc, just less for me to worry about....
Probably the best thing he did was let me stay in bed for a while whenever possible... he would get up, change the baby, play with him for a while, and bring him back to me in bed when he was hungry!
As he got older, dh was in charge of most of the actual meals when he was home.

How did husband help with your newborn?

DD is 3 weeks old and I started to pump one breast after she feeds on the other one so I can build a supply.

How did husband help with your newborn?

That's good. Build up as much as you can. You'll need more than you think if you're going back to work.
I remember being so mad one day that MIL fed DS, I forget how much, but it was more than he usually drank. After like 2 hours of having him, she called me at work to find out how to defrost the backup milk because she had already given him the whole day's supply. I was furious. Obviously DS was extra hungry that day, or needed the comfort or whatever. Looking back now, of course, it was ridiculous of me to get mad...if a baby wants milk, you give him milk. But that stuff is like gold--you can never have too much. I was pumping day to day with DS1, and I really didn't want to give him formula, so it was stressful, until we started cow's milk at 11 mo.
Of course for ds2, i stockpiled like a crazy mama, and he never accepted the bottle and preferred to starve till i got home, so i ended up throwing out a ton of milk.
So my other advice would be to start her on a bottle in 2-3 weeks, and keep giving her a couple of bottles a week, so she gets used to them. At 17 mo, i'm having a really hard time weaning ds2 without a bottle, whereas ds1 was easy to wean because we just gave him a bottle.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I EBF and only pumped to build a freezer stash for going back to work. I did all of the feedings. DS1 wanted to be held 24/7. DH cooked when he got home from work. After he was done, he'd take DS so I could get some rest. When he was ready to go to sleep, he gave DS back to me.

Now, with 2 kids, DH does a lot with DS1. He cooks for us, makes dinner for DS1 and does the bath and bedtime routine. I'm tending to DS2 during that time, which is usually when he's pretty fussy. When DH is done, he'll hold DS2 so I can get some rest. DS2 is STTN most nights now, which helps.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

The best advice I can give you is to ask him to do specific things. My DH worked long hours too and I BFed so he didn't get up with DS or DD in the middle of the night, but he would do other things like prepare dinner or get take out, do a load of laundry, hold DS/DD so I could take a shower. If this is your first baby trust me when I say they have NO clue what to do and you need to tell them. It's very very easy for a new mom to get tired and snippy (I was there too many times with my first ) and that helps no one. My DH tried to be helpful, but was much much more responsive when I told him exactly what he could do to help.

If you need something, ask or tell. This is his baby too and you should not feel ANY guilt about asking for help, being a new mom is the hardest thing ever and no one tells us how much we will miss the little things like showering, getting dressed, brushing our teeth

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

i FF. DH did everything the first week we were home. i was recovering from c-section and he took the week off.
when he went back to work, he ran home to see his baby and after 6pm the baby was all his. again did everything.

i had the day shifts and the middle-of-the-night wake ups but other than that, he gave me time to rest and recharge.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

DS is 3 weeks also and DH was super helpful the first 2 weeks he was off and I was recovering. I breastfeed too and have been pumping since the beginning, so DH gives the baby the 11pm/12am milk by bottle so I can go to bed around 9:30 and sleep until 3am-ish.

Now that he is back at work though, I have to ask / remind DH to do some things to help...he thinks because I am "home all day" I have time to do more than he thinks...he quickly forgot how your day can be sucked up by feeding and soothing a baby.

How did husband help with your newborn?

My advice, get out when DH comes home, even if you take a walk around your block, take a drive or walk around Target for 10-15 minutes. Make sure you do it a few days a week if not every day. DH should have no problem handling the baby and it will make a HUGE difference.
I also agree with LB, tell him specifically what you need help with. Making dinner, folding laundry, holding the baby to shower, take a nap.

Message edited 10/14/2012 6:08:29 PM.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I BF both kids so I was usually the one taking care of them as infants...but when DH was home he would change diapers if needed and he was very happy to lay on the couch with DD / DS - I mean who wouldn't?

He did pitch in more with taking care of DD when DS was born but I was still the main carer for my infant son.

To be honest I never understand moms who were BF who got their husbands up in the middle of the night to basically hand them the baby to feed - I know first hand of two moms who did this - it was kind of "well if I am awake you will be too!!"

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

He was very good....fed the baby, changed diapers. When I was on maternity leave, I'd feed her during the night. When I went back to work, we took turns.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

we also FF and I had a csection. since it was hard to move in the beginning, DH did as much as he could (though I am the type that tries to do everything myself). He would make bottles, change the baby, hold him if he was crying. We were lucky that our son SLEPT A TON in the beginning, like 20 hours per day and only woke 1-2 times at night for bottles even from birth so it was easy.

This time around, I am going to take help that is offered. DH will also take 2 weeks off instead of 1 since we will have the new baby and our 32 month old.

ASK for help. He may be overwhelmed and scared.

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I don't know what I would've done without my husband!!!! He was a tremendous help!!!! Besides not being able to feed him because I BFed, he did everything else!!!!

Re: How did husband help with your newborn?

I know mine will. He has been a huge help my whole pregnancy. We are FF so it won't be as hard, but twins, so not exactly easy. He just said to me that once the babies come, he will get a week off work. I told him the babies are laughing at him right now saying "oh yeah daddy, you think you have a week off. You are going to wish you were going to work".

While I'm off and he goes back to work, I'll take on most feedings. He gets home from work at 12-1:30 some nights so he can take feedings if hes home then.

Message edited 10/15/2012 9:08:58 AM.