Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

I read a discussion about this on another parenting board, which led to a discussion about it IRL with a few friends.

Basically, the discussion on the board (people all over the US) was that there is a hunger crisis in America for a lot of "middle class" people as well as those at or below the poverty line. Many people either had experienced or knew people who couldn't afford the basics but didn't qualify for food stamps or anything like that.

When I was talking to people IRL, they were of the consensus that because LI is so wealthy, it doesn't happen as much here. I think it does but it isn't talked about as much. Plus, because it is a richer area than a lot of other places it's harder to get help.

I made it into a poll so that no one gets embarrassed, but I'm really interested to see the responses.

ETA: By "go without food" I mean that you gave the children the food you had and went to bed hungry. Not "I don't want to eat chicken nuggets... I will have DH pick me up something on the way home." Just wanted to clarify

Message edited 9/18/2012 11:32:06 AM.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

There are food banks all over the island, so if anyone is going hungry, I suggest contacting them. I see flyers up at our library, and a truck in our neighborhood once a week. I am pretty sure it's a no questions asked kind of thing. Take what you need, give what you can.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

I have never been in this situation, but I would go hungry in a heartbeat and feed my kids first.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

I have personally never been in the situation but my gf was and dh's cousin.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Yes I have and do go without so she can eat.

I didn't have dinner on Thursday, Friday or Monday night.

I just can't afford any more groceries at the moment. Just no more money left. I am nearly $300 negative at the end of each month WITHOUT gas right now.

I've gone without before, I see no shame in doing it again. At least she eats. She has good food too. I take pride in that. Steamed Veggies are her favorite. The generic frozen bag is what we can give her. If I'm lucky I have a bag of carrots. We give her pasta (without sauce), mac & cheese cups, generic diced peaches, generic manadrin oranges, milk, water, and watered down apple juice (generic). If and when we eat chicken she'll eat that as well. She's not a fan of hamburger meat and right now that's all we an afford for ourselves. She used to eat meatloaf but won't these days.

Yes, I'm middle class.

I have yet to skip an important bill for her. Mostly because I feel light, water, mortgage and insurance are for her. Both my cars are paid off.

I just took a trip to NY (and yes some like to shove that back in my face) but we didn't stay in hotels, we travelled and everything was paid for by his family. We gained no debt other than our airfare which was $450 paid nearly 7 months ago. She got to see her grandmother and relatives.

Ebbs and Flows. I could EASILY make up the difference in my pay if I stopped the tax withholding. I've done that before. I did it earlier this year for 3m. I may do it again for December. I just need to survive to next Sept when AJ goes to public school. I'm sure by then it will be something else, but for me there's hope still. I just got to stick with it.

For me, the economy has gotten MUCH worse in the past 4yrs. I say 4 because I was in NY in 2008 to half of 2009 then here for the rest. So.. 4yrs. I have had no raise but everything costs more now than it did 3yrs ago. I can't keep up.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Yes, I have. Maybe not to the extent of not having any food in the house that I couldn't eat something...but if I make a meal and my children are still hungry, they get anything remaining that we have. We can easily find something else to eat, my children cannot.

I remember vividly, my mother making a meal and there being 1 piece of chicken left on the plate on the table. It was my father's piece and he had just arrived home from work as we were finishing dinner. My brother and I were still hungry, so my father cut that piece in half and we each ate it. I remember my dad saying that growing children need to eat first. I was only about 6 and I remember him doing that for us.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

We were on wic for a bit when we had ds 1. It was horrible but helpful. Now we are in a good place. It wasn't because we are lazy either. I went to college for a long time in order to become a teacher and the jobs just aren't there. My mom was on food stamps for a short item after my dad left her and took all the money. We ate spaghetti all the time since it was so cheap. I remember never, ever wanting to be in that position that's why I pushed really hard to go to college to be independent, make my own money and now I can't find a job and have massive student loan debt. The guilt I feel daily is unbearable.

Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

I haven't had to go without essentials for my kids, but I know for a fact some family members (young moms) have so they could afford formula. WIC paid for a breast pump & she was unable to product enough breast milk to keep up with the demand since she went back to her hourly-minimum wage job so they could pay bills. We gave her gas money so she could come to my relative's house to see us while we were visiting & then went shopping for formula, etc for her.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

I have not had this with my children but I do remember as a child that there were times where my mother didnt eat for days so that me and my brother could be full. We never realized but I would absolutely do the same for my daughter. Its a shame that there is probably alot of this happening but its not really talked about.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

I know ppl in this situation. Fortunately, we haven't been.

I think what sucks too is that there are so many people out there who should be following specialized diets, but do not because it's so hard to eat healthy.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Yes.

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

It makes me so sad that people are in this position

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Yes. Several times. I've learned to stretch a dollar since and very rarely are we that bad.

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Yes I've been in both situations. When my son was little and I was a single mom who never received a dime in child support working two jobs to keep a roof over our head.
My son was born when i was 17 and i finished high school and got an associates degree without any public assistance.
I went to social services once to ask for emergency food stamps because my rent went up and I had an unexpected car repair that left me completely broke till the next pay check which was over a week away. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone in my family for money and I didnt have credit cards because I had no ability to pay anything other than my necessary bills.
After sitting there all day(taking an unpaid day off from work) the lady told me I earned $18 too much before taxes per week to qualify. That was the kick in the azz I got for staying out of the system! And I left there with NOTHING!

So yeah, it was a rough week, I went to a food pantry to get a few things and we made it through. It's pretty upsetting when you have to make your child cereal with powered milk and lie when he asks you why you're not eating dinner with him.

I'm a huge supporter of a local food pantry now, it's my way of giving back. The amount of families receiving regular help from this small pantry in a very average LI area is over 200 per month. That doesn't include people that just come in when they are having a bad week.
I'm grateful everyday for the blessings I have and I never take any of it, not even the food we eat for granted!

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Reading your stories is very grounding. We often take the littlest things in life for granted..

Re: Have you gone hungry or gone without to feed your kids?

Wow, all these stories are so heart breaking. I thank God Ive never been in that situation and hope to never be in it. I live pretty much pay check to pay check and in no means doing well financially but I do know how to coupon and stretch my dollar, I guess thats why Im able to get by. Lots of hugs to all of you who have and are going through tough times..