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beyond exhausted and losing it.. update!

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prunepie
LIF Adult

Member since 7/06

4357 total posts

Name:
jennifer

beyond exhausted and losing it.. update!

Ds is 4 months. We put him down swaddled in rnp between 10 to 11 pm. On an amzing night he sleeps till 6 am. But mannnnnnnny nights he willl wake up or 2 or 3 am and eat and will not go back down and I give up and lay on couch with him. Delirious. He is an infrequent day napper and cannot get him on schedule. I work 3 days a week as well. I am miserable and grouchy most of the time. Tried to get him out of swaddle and in crib. Boy was that a fun couple nights haha!!! I have gone to work on 3 hours sleep more often than I can count. My migraines are nasty. And I just feel like poo. Maybe I just have one of those kids ie he had colic but I am worried I am going to end up in looney bin soon. Dh says he would help in the middle of the night but I feel guilty bc he is the breadwinner and his job is more important financially and don't want to overtire him. How do I keep it together and not lose my shiit? Lol tia!!! Update! So I tried a dream feed the best I could. At 9ish I gave him 4 ounces and he fell asleep in my arms. Around 1030 I brought him upstairs changed him and gave him another 4 ounces. He was awake but groggy. Put him down and little baby slept til 7 am!!!!!!!! I almost pooped myself!!!! I am going to try this again and praying it keeps working!!!! Ty everyone wheeeee

Message edited 9/7/2012 1:32:22 PM.

Posted 9/6/12 3:22 PM
 
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!

Member since 8/07

12475 total posts

Name:
Keri

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Have you tried maybe laying him on his belly? That's the ONLY way my niece would sleep as an infant.

Hope you find a solution soon!! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/6/12 3:24 PM
 

prunepie
LIF Adult

Member since 7/06

4357 total posts

Name:
jennifer

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Posted by kahlua716

Have you tried maybe laying him on his belly? That's the ONLY way my niece would sleep as an infant.

Hope you find a solution soon!! Chat Icon Chat Icon

no because he doesn't roll yet and his pediatrician says in his case its not safe yetChat Icon

Posted 9/6/12 3:27 PM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7721 total posts

Name:

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Yep. 4 months is not easy.

My advice: Go to sleep earlier & anticipate that your baby is going to wake up and you will have to spend time with him in the middle of the night. Get your hubby to give your son the last bottle, change & put to sleep (you go to sleep while this is all being done).

If you aren't giving a bottle right before bed, start doing it. Even if you are breastfeeding, formula will have the kid sleep longer & keep you sane.

Posted 9/6/12 3:27 PM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

4798 total posts

Name:
Pomegranate5

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Have you tried an earlier bed time and then just doing a dream feeding at 10 or 11 to see if that holds him off from waking up a little bit longer?

Posted 9/6/12 4:31 PM
 

Deeluvsvinny
DONE

Member since 10/08

4952 total posts

Name:
Whatever

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Are you BFing? Can you tell how much he's getting at the last feeding? DD did this at about 4 months, and she was FF, so we increased her last feeding by an ounce and she started STTN right away.

Posted 9/6/12 4:34 PM
 

walkintomymind
LIF Adolescent

Member since 6/10

806 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

4 months and then again at 8 months were rough patches for me. My DD would sleep but wake at 4:30 bright eyed and bushy tailed waiting to be entertained Chat Icon

What if YOU go to bed around 9 and let your DH take over from 9 until your baby goes to sleep? Then you get some solid hours before he wakes?? Your husband can help without overtiring himself in the middle of the night?

My DD had colic and I cried every single day for MONTHS because I felt like I wasn't cut out to be a Mom...and I remember thinking, "what was I thinking doing this?"

It gets SO much better! It's just rough getting all the kinks out! Frustrating, but you feel like a rock star when the kinks are worked out!!

Posted 9/6/12 5:08 PM
 

MrsKR88
LIF Adult

Member since 2/10

979 total posts

Name:

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

I would try an earlier bed time and a bed time routine. It worked wonders for us. It will take some time but I swear that it works!

Posted 9/6/12 5:11 PM
 

JsWife
His laugh, Her smile

Member since 12/06

2902 total posts

Name:
Patricia

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Is he on cereal yet? DS started STTN at 4 months when I started cereal.

Posted 9/6/12 5:19 PM
 

Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!

Member since 5/05

12165 total posts

Name:

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

I agree with the others--definitely put him to bed earlier. My 3 were in bed around 8pm at that point.

Also, continue to swaddle and put him in the crib for naps.

Buy Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

Thank me.

Chat Icon Just kidding, but seriously I have 3 DC and all were great sleepers (well, the oldest not a dynamite napper to be fair--but dammit, she "rested" in her room until she was almost 5 Chat Icon). They were not colic, but again the oldest one gave me a serious run for my money from birth to around 4 mos. Also, I am not one to be adverse to a little "cry it out" action. Chat Icon I am a total sleep nazi because if I don't get my "Erin time" it's not a good scene. Chat Icon

Good luck!
Chat Icon

Posted 9/6/12 5:34 PM
 

skinny
3 boys and a princess!

Member since 11/08

8178 total posts

Name:
Momma

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

What's his schedule?

Posted 9/6/12 5:43 PM
 

TheLorax
LOVE

Member since 2/06

5581 total posts

Name:
Suzanne / SuzBride

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

DD had colic too. 4 months until about 5-1/2 months were a nightmare. DD didn't sleep at all - AT ALL! She refused to nap in the crib, and at night it would take hours to get her asleep in the crib and then she would wake up an hour or so later and it would take hours again to get her to sleep in the crib (repeat all night long until 4AM when she was awake for the day).

I would put her down early for the night (7PM) and then take a nap and DH would handle rocking her until he went to bed around 10/11PM. Then I would sub back in, and if I rocked her for more than 2-3 hours (we couldn't just hold her and sit, she insisted on being rocked all night long or we did stairs with her (even bought a step aerobics step for her closet)), then he would sub in for an hour or so.

Then at 5-1/2 months we did cry it out and she started to sleep 9 hours a night. I felt awful doing it. Cried my eyes out right along with DD, but she was such a happier baby once we did it (becuase she was actually getting some sleep) and DH and I weren't zombies anymore. I tried so hard to make it to 6 months before doing CIO, but we just couldn't.

Good luck! Feel free to FM! DD is 12.5 months now, and it gets SO much better!

Posted 9/6/12 5:48 PM
 

MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

12167 total posts

Name:

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Posted by Pomegranate5

Have you tried an earlier bed time and then just doing a dream feeding at 10 or 11 to see if that holds him off from waking up a little bit longer?



I was going to suggest the same. Maybe he'll be easier to put down after a dream feeding since he hopefully won't fully wake. When we started putting DD down earlier (8:30ish instead of 10 or 11) she was happier and life got easier for all of us.

Posted 9/6/12 5:50 PM
 

Coosie
So in love with my little boy!

Member since 1/10

1889 total posts

Name:

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Posted by Eireann


Buy Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.




Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I swear by this book and rec it everyone under the sun that has a baby!!! Def try an earlier bed time. We had the same issue and I was petrified to do an early bedtime in fear that he would wake up at 1 or 2 and feel like he slept for long enough. In fact, it's just the opposite.....earlier bedtime = better/longer sleep

Posted 9/6/12 5:51 PM
 

prunepie
LIF Adult

Member since 7/06

4357 total posts

Name:
jennifer

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

We arte on formula and no cereal yet. Prob is a few nights a week I don't even get home till after 8pm. And there is no daytime schedule bc some days he naps and oithers he won't!!! Gahhhh

Posted 9/6/12 6:20 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11426 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

well definitely try to get him on a schedule. Honestly it sounds like he's overtired a lot. Try a bedtime routine consistently and give it some time to work (even if you have to do baths every night for a week or two). Definitely do an earlier bedtime.

At 4 months old, my son could only stay awake for an hour and 15 minutes at a time before he needed a nap. You could always tell when it was time because he would get fussy. My 1st son you had to go by the clock and not tired signs because once he had the tired signs, he was already overtired.

Start keeping a journal as to your routine during the day. It will help you pick out a pattern.

The more sleep he gets during the day, the better he'll sleep at night and vice versa.

have you tried letting him nap in his swing?

Message edited 9/6/2012 7:56:38 PM.

Posted 9/6/12 7:56 PM
 

prunepie
LIF Adult

Member since 7/06

4357 total posts

Name:
jennifer

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

thanks everyone. i agree he is overtired most of the time. but little baby fights it!!!! i do swing and he will poop out for 20 minutes then wakes up hysterical. when i am home i let him sleep on me after i re try putting him in the swing a few times. i figure some sleep on me is better than none.

i am definately going ot try earlier night night times. a few times when i tried 9 pm he was pizzzzzed off.

what i regularly do is bath. cuddle. bottle burpy swaddle paci then in rnp .. usually he will fall asleep. the difference is does he wake at one or 3 or 6 am.. no ryhme or reason even if the bedtime is the sameChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

i am grateful that overall his colic is better but he is still a pretty hands on baby and not so good napper at all.

we are going to start cereal in the next month. and he is formula fed average about 30 oz a day

i think he may be teething as well and has a bit of a runny nose alot so i think these things make him cranky to boot!!!

one day he will be a teenager that i cant wake up but until then...Chat Icon thank you all for your suggestions. i am definately going to try my best on days i am home at night to have more of a routine !!!! tyyyy!

Posted 9/6/12 8:36 PM
 

Summergirl
LIF Infant

Member since 3/12

262 total posts

Name:

beyond exhausted and losing it

We use the rnp, swaddle sleep sack and 2 -3 doses of little tummies gripe water in the last few bottles of the night. DD is 4 months too,and had colicky issues, now reflux, and milk protein allergies too. Even With All of the above and a bedtime before 11 pm she sleeps sometimes 12 hours( knock wood). I agree with pps because we started putting her to bed earlier ,(9 pm ) and she sleeps longer, ( I was also scared it would be the opposite but it isn't). She is a horrible napper , but I am not going to complain because she STTN.Scared for the transition to the crib and no sleep sack. Good luck.

Message edited 9/6/2012 8:51:30 PM.

Posted 9/6/12 8:47 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

My Dd was the EXACT same way! At a lttle over 6 months she miraculously just started STTN every night on her own. I did nothing to make this happen. She was just ready and bam! At that point my life changed dramatically.
Hang in there. It will happen soon!

Posted 9/6/12 8:50 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

beyond exhausted and losing it

Let DH help. I went back to work and DS was not sleeping. We were both sleep deprived going to work. If your DH helps you will end up getting a few more hours. It will end. DS started STTN once he slept on his belly. But we still have bad nights where he will wake 3-4 times a night.

Posted 9/6/12 9:03 PM
 

pnbplus1
Family

Member since 5/09

5751 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Posted by Coosie

Posted by Eireann


Buy Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.




Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I swear by this book and rec it everyone under the sun that has a baby!!! Def try an earlier bed time. We had the same issue and I was petrified to do an early bedtime in fear that he would wake up at 1 or 2 and feel like he slept for long enough. In fact, it's just the opposite.....earlier bedtime = better/longer sleep



I absolutely agree. Buy the book. You probably need to work on the naps during the days since he seems overtired. I agree to continue with the swaddle for a little longer if you can. Try to stick to routines, even with the nap and especially bedtime. I remember at that age all I had to do was start to put DS in the swaddle at naptime and he was asleep before he hit the crib.

Oh, and definitely let your DH get up in the middle of the night. I too had horrible migraines and the interrupted sleep and waking up in the middle of the night was really hard for me and resulted in lots of headaches. DH was the one to get up with DS most of the time. Even if I did get up, DH would get up too. And he was absolutely
the primary breadwinner bc even though I worked FT in NYC like he did, I was on internship making peanuts.

It will get better though. Try reading the book. I was already doing a lot of what the book said bc of what I learned on this site but really, this guy was right on with the sleep.

Posted 9/6/12 9:07 PM
 

SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!

Member since 12/05

20105 total posts

Name:
Lauren

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

My DS was the same way. He slept in the swing for naps and at night until he was 5 months old, it was the only way we could get any sleep.

It definitely sounds like your DS is overtired. Put him down for a nap the second you see "sleep cues," - he rubs his eyes, yawns, stops playing, or zonesout.
You may need to put him down every hour our hour and a half for awhile/

Posted 9/6/12 10:00 PM
 

PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys

Member since 1/07

2963 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Consistency is key. Many babies thrive on a schedule. My twins do.

He needs to be put down for a nap at the same time every day, and at his age its at least 2 naps if not 3 naps. If the swing isn't working, ditch it - put him down for naps the same place and the same way you put him down for bed at night.

Sleep begets sleep.

Better naps during the day + earlier bed time = better sleep at night.

Also, ITA with those who said to let your DH help.

If you don't want him getting up in the middle of the night, then you NEED to go to bed earlier.

Take shifts with DH.

Let DH have some late night bonding with his boy while you catch some zzzzzz's.

Go to bed at 8 or 9. Let DH do the last feeding and put him down to bed. This way you'll have a good solid chunk of sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night.

Good luck.

And remember ... this too shall pass!

Chat Icon

Posted 9/6/12 10:18 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8033 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: beyond exhausted and losing it

Posted by kahlua716

Have you tried maybe laying him on his belly? That's the ONLY way my niece would sleep as an infant.



DO IT and stay in the room with him! Once he falls asleep roll him over on his back! That's what I used to do with my daughter because she would NOT fall asleep ANY other way and would just cry and cry hysterically!!

Posted 9/6/12 10:36 PM
 

hopeful4baby11
LIF Toddler

Member since 1/11

447 total posts

Name:
M

beyond exhausted and losing it

Try putting him in the crib! At 4 months my daughter was in the rnp and waking up a lot. I put her in the crib and she sleeps so much better!

Posted 9/6/12 11:31 PM
 
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