Does your preschool have gentle separation?

I love everything about DS's preschool except the separation part. They prefer that you do NOT hang around because it delays the separation.

DS#2 starts school next week and I feel so nervous for him. DH thinks he will do great and isn't concerned at all.

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

I know it's so hard as a mom! But, as a kindergarten teacher, I agree with them. It does make it harder, for both the parent and child. A majority of the time they calm
down within 5 minutes, and if they don't, I'm sure the teacher will comfort them. Good luck!

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

Ours does not. They prefer that you give a quick kiss and say something like, "You're going to have a great day today!" then leave. When I call 5 minutes later, they tell me he is already playing with his friends and then I feel better. When he gets teary throughout the day in the beginning of the school year, they tell me that saying to him "Mommy always comes back" seems to make him feel better. He repeats it to himself and then he calms down. By the time he is in school for 2 weeks, he usually stops the teary spells throughout the day, but the morning drop-off is hit or miss throughout the year. He seriously always calms down immediately though so I know that at a certain point in the year, he's just playing his mommy.

ETA: When I do stick around in the morning, it never works to calm him down. If anything, it just prolongs the crying because it makes him think I am staying. He'll calm down, but then once I walk to the door, it starts again. When we did that the first day last year, that was when the teachers asked us to do the above. Also wanted to add, good luck!!! I bet if your DH thinks DS can do it, then he really can. It doesn't make it any easier on us though.

Message edited 9/1/2012 7:56:53 AM.

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

No, just straight separation from day 1. My ds is like yours. I tried a separation program and it did not work. So now the new school is full separation. Trying not to think about it bc I feel really bad! But I know he will end up loving school

Message edited 9/1/2012 11:05:53 AM.

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

I'm a pre-k teacher and we do the quick separation. It definitely is better for both child and parent. The children usually settle down within 5-10 minutes and are fine for the rest of the day. I think its best to just kiss and go!

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

CFA in Smithtown has a great mommy and me separation program as a precurser to preschool for children 18 months to 3 years. We did it this summer and it was really great.

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

We go to a program 2 hours a day (in Brooklyn) my DD is 2.5 has no separation issues, but some days round 1 hour into it, cries for me, maybe its just too much for him, hes very active and the program is group work and some independent montessori like work. So they let me sit with him either in class or outside just so he gets used to idea of being there for 2 hours. At 3-4 they graduate them to 3 hours a day. Its not a true preschool, no outdoor area no lunch.

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

DS' school does not do this. They specifically said it's much easier if we kiss them at the door and say goodbye. They feel a gradual separation makes it much worse. Good luck!

Re: Does your preschool have gentle separation?

From my experience as an educator, sticking around for too long only upsets the child even more. It's harder for the parent but within 5 minutes (there are always exceptions) the child is fine and not crying anymore. It's hard, I know, my 2 yr old goes through this sometimes but I leave and if I am unsure, I go to the office and view her on the camera's. She is always playing with her friends or teacher and is fine. Maybe if your school has cameras you can try that? Good luck!

Does your preschool have gentle separation?

I loved my preschool but at first I was weary of their "pull em off you" policy.I realized it was MY problem. The children quickly assimilated.Being in eye view will never get your child ready for separation. The first days are hard but then the system works. it was much easier for me with my younger children. sooner or later they need to separate