Does DH give you a break from the kids?

I'm a SAHM and I am incredibly grateful for the experience. I know there are millions of women who wish they could spend more time with their DC. I'm really very blessed.

I'm a little embarrassed to say that sometimes I get really "burnt out."
DS is 2.5 years old, very clingy and demanding. The tantrums and time-outs are our house are endless. I try to be patient but I find myself on the brink of yelling at him and he's still so young.

DH works very hard and I try to appreciate him by not only telling him *daily* but by having dinner ready for him within minutes of his arrival home, making him lunch most mornings, dropping off his dry cleaning, etc. On Sunday mornings, I even take DS to the park so DH can sleep in and relax.

Here's the problem ... when I outright ask or even hint at DH taking DS to a park a weekend morning so I can sleep in, relax, clean, whatever he basically refuses.

He wants his time to relax. We will spend time together as a family but DH doesn't "get" that I need a little ALONE time, too. He makes me feel selfish for asking.

Just curious if this is the norm.

Does DH give you a break from the kids?

I wouldn't give him the option. Grab your purse and keys on Saturday afternoon and head out the door!!
Staying at home is your job. You need a break too!

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Dh takes the kids out once in a blue moon without me. I have to harass him Make the plan ahead of time, example: dh you are taking dc to the park/ mall on Sunday morning bc I need a break.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Thanks! I needed those words of encouragement. Now that DS doesn't nap anymore, I feel like I'm "working" an 18 hour day by the time he's asleep and I'm cleaning / doing laundry.


I don't think anyone should be expected to work those hours

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Yes, DH is super attached to our older DD and loves to go out alone with her (I guess when DD2 is not attached to my boob so much she'll get the same treatment lol). He loves her age (26 months) and they have a blast together. Also, every Saturday morning they have a standing date (park, breakfast whatever).

I honestly consider going to work his break. Hear me out...yes his job is demanding, but he also has LOADS of fun at work and "down time" whenever he needs it. I work part time too (on maternity leave now) and honestly, going to my job is DEFINITELY easier than being home with the kiddies 24/7. I think he feels the same way bc when he is home is is in total DAD mode and very hands on with the girls.

Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Everyone needs a break. I agree, grab your keys and go out for a bit. You shouldn't feel guilty about it either.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

I am not a SAHM, but I very rarely got a break from DS when we were home.

It wasn't until I pointed it out that my DH realized the routine we had fallen into. It was partly my fault because I had taken on this mode of "I can do it all".

Now on Sunday mornings, he takes DS to the Supermarket with him and lets me sleep in a little bit. And if my DH gets out of work earlier than me, he'll pick up my son and save me the trip. I'll get home from work earlier without that pickup, and our night together as a family starts sooner.

I would say that you need to speak up and tell him how you feel, but it sounds like you've already done that.

I realize money could be tight (as it is for most families these days) but perhaps suggesting you hire a babysitter so you can have some time to run errands, do things by yourself, etc. will prompt your husband to realize that you do need some down time to in order to keep your sanity.

My sister is a SAHM of two adorable little terrors, and she's at her wits end most days too, without any relief either. It is definitely NOT easy.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Yes, dh is very good about it. I am a ptwm & he lets me have whatever time I ask for. I am always telling him to go out alone too for a break. It's not a bad thing to want some alone time.
I don't ask for much time because he works hard for us & some long hour shifts for overtime $. I can go out with a friend 2x a month or get my nails done 1x a month & be happy with that & he doesn't complain.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

DH is very good about it too. Although when we are both home he is often too busy doing other thins than to hold LO, but if i ask to take him somewhere or to watch him so i could get out, he pretty much always will. Explain to your DH how you feel, communication is key!

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Yes- but only when I ask/tell him.

I am also a SAHM to 4 and 2 year old boys. The 2 year old is very attached to me. I love being with them, but it is quite exhausting and I need time to myself. I do try and go to the gym 2-3 times a week and leave the boys in the childcare (they love it) to get a break.

But now I just tell DH that I am going out, whether it is for a pedicure in the morning, etc. I usually go out 1-2 times a month with my girlfriends. This year, I have even gone on two overnight trips to see friends. It was great and much-needed!

I do wish DH would spend more time alone with the boys, since it is important for him to bond with them and give me time to myself. But unless I point this out-it won't happen.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

YES, he does! I think that not only is it important that I have some separation from DD (for both of us), BUT it is even more crucial that my husband has time to be alone and parent DD. I want her to grow up having a strong relationship with her dad since that will be one of the building.

I really really really can't emphasize how crucial I think that relationship is. It's hard because my husband works a ton, but we try to make an effort for them to get to spend some real quality ALONE time together in addition to the time we spend as a family.

Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Yes he is good about it. He'll tell me to go to the gym or get my nails done or go shopping. And he has no problem staying home with DD when I make plans for myself. I enjoy my alone time but when DD was first born, I used to feel guilty and try to rush back home. I don't so that anymore lol. And my DH gets his "me" time alos by going to the gym, going for a run or going out with his friends.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

I'm a ftwahm, but my job is a licensed daycare provider so along with my own two I watch 6 other kids. After we had our first he was great about watching dd whenever I wanted to get out, even if it was just to go grocery shopping, he did the middle of the night feeings, and let me sleep in on the weekends. When we had our second it was different. He just didn't help me as much. After 6 weeks of never going anywhere on my own, never taking one nap, doing all the over night feedings. I sat down and talked to him. He admited that he was just overwhelmed and was sort of afraid to be alone with the two girls at the same time. Now that my second is alost 3 months old its much better. I go every sat morning to my ww meetings, I go grocery shopping alone and he watches them by himself. All I have to do is ask and he does it.

Sometimes I just don't think men are aware of how hard it is to be a sahm or just a mom for that matter. I knew if I didn't get out of the house by myself at least once or twice a week I would really resent him. So he knows that if he helps me it makes me happy which in turn makes me a better wife and mommy,

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

My DH loves spending every moment with our son!
This summer-since hes a teacher was a vaca for me! He did everything with our son!!! I dont have to hint when he walks in the door from work...he just knows-its his time! :)

I think you should def talk to ur DH and tell him having YOU time is not an option!!

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

We have 3 kids. I work PT. 2 days per week it is just me and the kiddos. When DH gets home from work on these days it is on-meaning DH gets a few minutes to change, we all eat dinner and DH and I are on duty 50/50.

On the weekends, DH and I trade sleeping in. One of us sleeps in on Sat and the other sleeps in on Sun. I'm talking 10 am sleep in. I love it.

2 of our 3 take naps. When those 2 sleep, DH and I will either chill with our oldestor one of us will run out solo and do some errands.

You need time to relax too. Your DH is being selfish IMO. Unless, you can hold on until your kids are all in school and you don't plan on going back to work. In which case, he can have his 2 extra hours on Sunday morning because when they go to school you will get it back 10 fold

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Yes! I made a point of letting him know right from the very beginning that I would burn out if I was "on" all of the time. When I was home on maternity leave, I would wake with her in the morning, he would go to work, and I would be home with her all day. When he got home, he'd do a few things, and then I'd usually go out of the house for about an hour....just to walk around by myself. I'd come home refreshed, and we'd take care of the baby together.

Once I was back at work, we made a deal that each of us would get one weekend morning to sleep in, so he wakes with her on Saturday and I get to wake with her on Sunday.

You're both parents...you have to work together!

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

I had DC for a couple of hours last night while DW was out with some friends. I'm always encouraging her to get out of the house. I agree that my 10 hours a day out of the house is my "down-time" away from the kids, so I can definitely allow her some time away from the 3 of us for a while.
When she's home with me and DC, there always someone whining or needing something from her...

Does DH give you a break from the kids?

Once a month I get out for a 12-hour scrap booking crop. IMO - it's important for the daddies to really see what it's like sometimes!

I also go to kickboxing 2 nights a week and on Saturday mornings.

I am an early bird, so I am up with them 7 days a week, so it's not unusual for me to take a nap Saturday and/or Sunday.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

DH lets me sleep in on weekends. He was and is an early bird though. He wakes up at 6 everyday and gets to work by 6:30am.

About once a week I go get a mani/pedi or a massage.

Re: Does DH give you a break from the kids?

I am very lucky. My husband trys to do as much as he can when hes off. I actually end up feeling bad.

I agree with these ladies! Take your purse and say I will be back in an hr!