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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Would you post a review on Care.com
I'm fuming today.
For anyone who didn't read my post yesterday, I had a nanny come yesterday for her first day watching my 2 year old DD in my home.
She had 20 years of experience (reference checked by me). DD was hysterical crying in the morning when DH and I went to work and the nanny freaked out.
I had to have my mom come and stay with her almost all day and every time my mom tried to leave the nanny panicked and DD was hysterical most of the day bc my mom kept trying to leave her with the nanny and the nanny would panic.
She called me 4 times throughout the day asking me what to do/how do I make her stop crying. "Just tell me what to do", she kept saying.
And then she called me at 5 and asked me if my mom could take her back to her house because she never saw a child cry that much. And that she was not coming back. She was done with my DD. She quit after the first day.
she is a woman in her 40s who was supposed to have experience, not a teenage babysitter.
I want to write a review on care.com.
DH thinks I am being too harsh and that maybe since she was with her previous families for so long, she just didn't remember how to be with a toddler.
I think it is ridiculous that she make it seem like my 2 YEAR OLD DD was "unmanageable" and impossible bc she cried with a stranger and if I were a potential mom looking for a nanny, I would want to know that I could possibly be left in a bind after 1 DAY 
Now, granted she seems like a very nice woman and if it were older kids, she may have been fine, and I'm willing to write that in my review.
DH says to just leave it alone and not post any review at all.
WWYD?
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Posted 8/21/12 8:49 AM  |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Personally, I wouldn't. I don't mind writing scathing reviews of businesses if the situation warrants it. But in this case you're dealing with an individual, and she's going to know it's you. She might have been a very nice lady but she could have wacko family members who might want to retaliate if you ruin her employment chances.
I would just let it go.
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| Posted 8/21/12 8:53 AM |
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MommaBear
Very much in love!
Member since 6/10 2864 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I would absolutely write a review! That is outrageous!
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| Posted 8/21/12 8:54 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I think what she did was fine. would you rather nanny leave baby in the crib all day to cry and ignore her? It didn't work out, find a new nanny.
Did you do a trial day with her so you could see how dd would react to her? Or did you go to work the first day she was w the new nanny?
Message edited 8/21/2012 8:59:27 AM.
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| Posted 8/21/12 8:56 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by MommaBear
I would absolutely write a review! That is outrageous!
Why? I don't get it, this is a 2 year old baby you are talking about. A 2 year old baby that cried ALL DAY. I think it's good the nanny was honest with her from the first day.
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| Posted 8/21/12 8:58 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by computergirl
Personally, I wouldn't. I don't mind writing scathing reviews of businesses if the situation warrants it. But in this case you're dealing with an individual, and she's going to know it's you. She might have been a very nice lady but she could have wacko family members who might want to retaliate if you ruin her employment chances.
I would just let it go.
Thanks. I never thought of that possibility but I guess you may be right since she knows where I live and work now.
FTR I wasn't planning on writing a scathing review, just that I felt she was not able to handle a crying 2 year old and potentially stressful situations and that she may be more well suited for a family with older children.
I just hate the thought of another mom having to go through what I went through and wasting their time with the whole interview process, reference checking, and possibly turning down other potential caretakers if they could have made a more informed decision with this additional piece of information.
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| Posted 8/21/12 8:58 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by MommaBear
I would absolutely write a review! That is outrageous!
Why? I don't get it, this is a 2 year old baby you are talking about. A 2 year old baby that cried ALL DAY. I think it's good the nanny was honest with her from the first day.
but she is a NANNY.
Why wouldn't a 2 year old cry when she was first left home with a stranger?
She made me send my mom over.
Don't be a nanny if you can't handle crying children.
What did she think? All kids were going to be sunshine and roses the first day?
My DS cried for 2 weeks straight when he first started daycare. and all the daycare teachers said that it was NORMAL separation anxiety and rubbed his back and calmed him and distracted him and now he LOVES it there and they LOVE him.
Shouldn't a caretaker know that a child will need an adjustment period???
Like I said, this was someone who posted for a full time nanny position, not a 16 year old looking for extra babysitting money.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:02 AM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I personally wouldn't write a review. Your experience with her amounted to 1 day and she was honest with you - she couldn't handle your 2 year old. At least she was honest about it and reached out to ask for help. She very well could've done something like put her in a crib, close the door and ignore her.
Did you have a trial period with her to see how your child would react...how she would react? It's a tough situation because at 2, they go through separation anxiety.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:08 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by maybesoon
Did you do a trial day with her so you could see how dd would react to her? Or did you go to work the first day she was w the new nanny?
She came over for 2 hours before her first day with me at home to watch her and there was no indication of me leaving so DD was fine and played with her.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:08 AM |
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smooney
Hidey Ho!
Member since 2/10 1669 total posts
Name:
.
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I would definitely write something. Be objective and just state exactly what happened like what you put in your post. It doesn't have to be mean, just truthful. It's only fair for other parents with young children to be aware of the situation and you're right, maybe she would be much better with older kids. Toddlers cry- case closed. If she can't handle that age and that is the job she chose to go into, then it has to be noted somewhere. It's the right thing for you to do to alert future employers. Quitting after one day is putting you at a major inconvenience now- who is to say she won't do it again?? Good for you.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:13 AM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by jambalady
Posted by maybesoon
Did you do a trial day with her so you could see how dd would react to her? Or did you go to work the first day she was w the new nanny?
She came over for 2 hours before her first day with me at home to watch her and there was no indication of me leaving so DD was fine and played with her.
DD is currently in daycare, but we thought about having someone come into our home to take care of her but we were afraid of bringing someone in and having to go through what you just went through with the nanny.
At 2, they regress in a way and go through separation anxiety so I feel that anyone who is unfamiliar will be a red flag for them and just about anyone may have a difficult time. Your DD was fine during those 2 hours because she knew you were around. It's really noone's fault that it didn't work out. You mentioned that she was with another family for a long time, so maybe she isn't as comfortable with toddlers since she had been working with older kids.
When you find a new nanny, there'll definitely be an adjustment period and it might not be easy. I think the key is finding someone who is well-equipped and willing to deal with a toddler and will stick it out during the transition period.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:17 AM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Yes I would write a review and Im a Nanny and a new mom. I would totally expect a 2 year old to cry and I would do everything in my power to distract, comfort and soothe that child so they would stop crying and feel comfortable in my care. If I felt like I was getting no where then maybe I would have the child talk to the mom on the phone after 2 hours or so of constant crying but I would never expect the mother or even call someone to come over. Little kids sense panic and act on it. She probably was not comfortable with the Nanny and was crying more because she saw how upset the adult was getting, I think you wrote that. It would make me so mad as a mother to have to find someone new after one day. I would maybe just write a heads up review not something harsh just a this is what my experience was because I would want to know.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:19 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by jambalady
Posted by maybesoon
Did you do a trial day with her so you could see how dd would react to her? Or did you go to work the first day she was w the new nanny?
She came over for 2 hours before her first day with me at home to watch her and there was no indication of me leaving so DD was fine and played with her.
Don't you think it would have been better for all involved for dd to have a few days to get used to her? Meaning you pop in and out a few days before work?
I understand she is a nanny, but to have a baby cry all day was too much for her I suppose
Message edited 8/21/2012 9:31:52 AM.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:26 AM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I am so sorry this happened.
I am torn. On one hand, people take jobs and then find out that it's not the right fit or not what they expected all the time. I think with this being child care she had no choice but to not return since this is a baby and not paperwork that just won't get done. I am sure she thought she could handle it when meeting you and probably should have tried to handle your DD on her own without you or your mother intervening. Usuall that just prolongs the crying and difficult situation and this is something she should have known.
On the other hand, I would be really frustrated and disapointed and want to share my experience with other parents who may decide to interview and hire this woman. Reviews are there to share with other people your honest experience so they can make an educated decision about the person they are interviewing. They have a right to know, but this story could also affect her chances of getting a another job through the site again.
I am not sure what I would do. If I felt she was honest with her experience and really tried her best then I would probably let it go. If I felt she was lazy and didn't seem to really have any of the experience she claimed to have and was discussed then I might share that with the Care.com community.
Message edited 8/21/2012 9:36:52 AM.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:35 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by maybesoon
Don't you think it would have been better for all involved for dd to have a few days to get used to her? Meaning you pop in and out a few days before work?
I understand she is a nanny, but to have a baby cry all day was too much for her I suppose
Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. I have limited time off from work.
if I were to do that with every potential nanny, I would have used up all my vacation time already.
And, I fully understand that it is very stressful to have a 2 year old crying all day, but if you don't understand that coming into a job as a nanny, you should change your range of care to older children.
Plus, it was one day.
Haven't you had 1 day where one of your DC cried all day? Shouldn't someone who is in child care give it a chance?
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:39 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Pretty tough situation.
I have a 2 year old & he is tough to handle.
When I have people start to watch my kid (my ILs), I leave them with him for periods of time alone & then come back, with the periods of time being longer... so that DS KNOWS I will come back.
BTW: He did an all day hunger strike at 4 months when I went back to work... having another child, I now know that my first is really "extreme."
Kids are all different.
I hope this (above) helps with your next nanny.
Maybe it is for the best with the first one... I wouldn't post anything. It's hard to get rid of things on the internet and her chemistry may not have worked out with your DC. Let her try another family. It sounds like she worked for other people in the past well. She didn't hurt the kid & was honest that it didn't work. She didn't waste any more of your time.
That being said, sorry... it does stink to be left without someone after spending time looking, interviewing & hiring.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:42 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Also... on the flip side...
Wouldn't you be really upset if you found out your kid was hysterical all day and the nanny didn't call?
(maybe your kid wasn't hysterical... but mine could pull that off... he is the type that the CIO method was useless for: he'd cry ALL night).
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:46 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Thank you. I appreciate the opinions.
I am just so stressed right now that I have a very negative view of what happened.
She did seem to try and she was very frustrated that she could not get DD to stop crying.
I just wish there was a way to alert other moms looking without necessarily providing negative feedback on her that would prevent her from getting another job.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:47 AM |
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babyface10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/11 804 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I dont think you should write a review. IMO you should have had her come over for a lot more than 2 hours interaction for a 2 year old.
Of course she would make strange. I would have made sure your DD was comfortable with her before leaving her for a full day.
You will ghave the same problem with a new nanny if you dont have more interaction and trials 1st.
I left my 4 month DS to day care 3 times before he started full time this week. I made sure he was being looked after and wasnt crying when i had someone to pick him up and check on him if there was a problem. He doesnt even make strange yet.
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:48 AM |
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readyforbaby
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/11 395 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I wouldn't. Not to scare you but she knows where you live, so I'd just leave it be and move along.
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| Posted 8/21/12 10:22 AM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Would you post a review on Care.com
I wouldn't write one either. Who knows - maybe this experience opened her eyes and SHE will only look to watch older children or change her preferences. To be honest, I don't think she did anything wrong - it just sucks that you were left in this situation.
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| Posted 8/21/12 11:10 AM |
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MommaBear
Very much in love!
Member since 6/10 2864 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by MommaBear
I would absolutely write a review! That is outrageous!
Why? I don't get it, this is a 2 year old baby you are talking about. A 2 year old baby that cried ALL DAY. I think it's good the nanny was honest with her from the first day.
I would want to warn other families that it might be a waste of time for them to hire her if they have a 2 year old. Plus, to quit after only one day, leaving them high and dry to find an alternate day care provider. Unprofessional!
Message edited 8/21/2012 12:07:53 PM.
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| Posted 8/21/12 12:05 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I would not write a review. We've had some nanny issues since my nanny left in April. I agree with some of the others that she knows where you are and all that. I'm sure it was a learning experience for her as well and maybe she would be best suited to watch a younger baby.
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| Posted 8/21/12 12:26 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Would you post a review on Care.com
I would not write a reveiw. I would chalk it up as a learnign experience for you and her.
For next time I would do trial days with a nanny since you know your DD has separation issues. That way it will ease her into it.
I am not sure I could handle my own kid crying all day long. He was like that as a newborn and I was readdy to leave but since I was the mommy I couldn't.
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| Posted 8/21/12 12:35 PM |
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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
Name:
Shiv
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I would write something along the lines of misrepresented her experience with younger children and was unable to watch an upset child.
IMO if your a nanny you should know how to console a crying child. And obviously she did not and therefore she lead you in when you interviewed her. Its a lot of wrk to find a nanny and that's not something you want to have to do over and ver again because the person you hired couldn't handle the job.
And it's not the OP fault that she didn't do more trials- I think I only did one with my nanny. I totally understand not having the days to be able to do that and experienced nanny should not have the issues this nanny had.
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| Posted 8/21/12 12:41 PM |
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