Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

I think its a parent's responsibility to give their child religious identity.

I dont understand the "I'm having issues with the church argument" To me - it is equivalent to saying - I don't like some subjects in the high school curriculum - and that principal is too preachy, so I'm going to let my child choose what to learn when they get older.

I grew up going to catholic church every week - it gave me a strong sense of community and a peaceful place to go when I felt troubled. I don't always understand everything, I don't always agree - but that doesn't mean I should give up. For me, religion was a great gift. I didn't understand just how much I was absorbing each week until I was older.

I can't wait to baptize my second this month - its one of the biggest gifts I can give her.

Feeling pressured to baptize...

DH and I were both raised Catholic. I no longer call myself a Catholic, it's just not for me. DH doesn't even know what it means to be Catholic.. ::rolls eyes::

We are baptizing DS, next month actually. I am choosing to have him Christened in my MILs catholic church. I really do feel that he should be baptized and blessed. I will not force any other sacraments upon him, but let him choose his religious path in life. Besides wanting to have him blessed, I feel guilt.. As a true Catholic should. Hahaha just a little humor. Nomflames please! :)

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

First I just have to say that it is so nice to see a post regarding religion & no one is getting argumentative or on their so
We had a dedication for DD (like you mentioned.)
If you looked into it & like the belief behind it, maybe try calling a church that does baby dedications (instead of the traditional baptism or christening) & ask what their requirements are. I think the pastor in my church has done them for families who don't attend there.

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

I will support you 100%. I am catholic and so is my husband but we do not go to church anymore. I didnt feel it was right to do it bc of "tradition" or for someone else. My grandmother and even my neighbor were on my back. Youd think I was sacrificing my children. I wonder if I did the right thing.

My sister baptised both her daughters and Im even the godmother of one. I never made confirmation. My sister may only bring her children to church for weddings, possibly easter or christmas. Its her personal choice, but I just dont get it. IDK.

I kind of feel like each person should have the choice to associate with whatever religion they want when they get older.

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

I do get what the OP said. I'm not even sure what I am. I was catholic and then my mom and I converted to methodist. But I haven't been to church in years! With the exception of holidays.

For me, I don't want to celebrate holidays without my child understanding why. Like Christmas and Easter.

My husband is Jewish and I couldn't imagine my children not learning about the philosphies and history either.

But those are my issues. If you don't want to baptize because you don't plan to follow through, then you shouldn't.

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Sorry I haven't back on here. Just thinking over a lot of things. I thank all you girls for weighing in and giving me different perspectives without arguing

To the person who said to try a diff church. A more lax catholic one... This is what my mom had suggested. I will go with an open mind and go to a mass with my dh at my local church and see how I feel. My mom has been to that church and said thy weren't her cup of tea but seemed like it would be more of a fit for me.

And I agree... We are the parents and it is ultimately up to us how we will raise our child. It's sad that there is just so much pressure that surrounds the issue. I can't see myself acting the same way towards my child and making her feel bad for doing what she feels is right...

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

We did not baptize our DD and we never intended to. I am a non-practicing Catholic and DH does not have a religious affiliation.

I told my family when I got pregnant that we did not plan on baptizing the baby. Each time it was mentioned to me I would say "No, we are not baptizing her. When the time comes, I will teach her about all of the different types of religious beliefs and if she chooses to associate herself with one then it will be her choice and not mine."

After saying that a few too many times they all got the message. Plus, I am not a traditional person in the sense of religious tradition anyway. We were not married in a church or had any type of religious ceremony.

I did look in to doing a baby blessing and was going to have Pastor April (who married us) perform the ceremony. I really liked the idea but when it came down to it we decided against it. For no other reason than the fact that I wanted to save the money for a big party to be her 1st Birthday and I knew we couldn't afford to do both.

You have to do what you and DH feel comfortable with and try not to let others pressure you in to anything you are uncomfortable doing. I know it is easier said than done.

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Message edited 8/7/2012 10:27:34 AM.

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Posted by MaZz

Posted by nraboni

We did not baptize our DD and we never intended to. I am a non-practicing Catholic and DH does not have a religious affiliation.

I told my family when I got pregnant that we did not plan on baptizing the baby. Each time it was mentioned to me I would say "No, we are not baptizing her. When the time comes, I will teach her about all of the different types of religious beliefs and if she chooses to associate herself with one then it will be her choice and not mine."

After saying that a few too many times they all got the message. Plus, I am not a traditional person in the sense of religious tradition anyway. We were not married in a church or had any type of religious ceremony.

I did look in to doing a baby blessing and was going to have Pastor April (who married us) perform the ceremony. I really liked the idea but when it came down to it we decided against it. For no other reason than the fact that I wanted to save the money for a big party to be her 1st Birthday and I knew we couldn't afford to do both.

You have to do what you and DH feel comfortable with and try not to let others pressure you in to anything you are uncomfortable doing. I know it is easier said than done.

I was married by pastor April as well. Totally loved my ceremony and everything he words stood for, but once again got shit from my fam "omg, you're not getting married in the church?!?" and how do you know if this officiant is the real deal LOL. Seriously fam doesn't understand me being different and it sucks. Like being the black sheep for simply not being a follower... Oh well...

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Posted by nraboni

Posted by MaZz

Posted by nraboni

We did not baptize our DD and we never intended to. I am a non-practicing Catholic and DH does not have a religious affiliation.

I told my family when I got pregnant that we did not plan on baptizing the baby. Each time it was mentioned to me I would say "No, we are not baptizing her. When the time comes, I will teach her about all of the different types of religious beliefs and if she chooses to associate herself with one then it will be her choice and not mine."

After saying that a few too many times they all got the message. Plus, I am not a traditional person in the sense of religious tradition anyway. We were not married in a church or had any type of religious ceremony.

I did look in to doing a baby blessing and was going to have Pastor April (who married us) perform the ceremony. I really liked the idea but when it came down to it we decided against it. For no other reason than the fact that I wanted to save the money for a big party to be her 1st Birthday and I knew we couldn't afford to do both.

You have to do what you and DH feel comfortable with and try not to let others pressure you in to anything you are uncomfortable doing. I know it is easier said than done.

I was married by pastor April as well. Totally loved my ceremony and everything he words stood for, but once again got shit from my fam "omg, you're not getting married in the church?!?" and how do you know if this officiant is the real deal LOL. Seriously fam doesn't understand me being different and it sucks. Like being the black sheep for simply not being a follower... Oh well...

I am the black sheep too...always have been!

But think about this...you already had the strength to break away from the "followers" by not getting married in the Church and having Pastor April perform your ceremony and you can do it again with your child if that is what you want. KWIM?

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Posted by MaZz

Posted by nraboni

Posted by MaZz

Posted by nraboni

We did not baptize our DD and we never intended to. I am a non-practicing Catholic and DH does not have a religious affiliation.

I told my family when I got pregnant that we did not plan on baptizing the baby. Each time it was mentioned to me I would say "No, we are not baptizing her. When the time comes, I will teach her about all of the different types of religious beliefs and if she chooses to associate herself with one then it will be her choice and not mine."

After saying that a few too many times they all got the message. Plus, I am not a traditional person in the sense of religious tradition anyway. We were not married in a church or had any type of religious ceremony.

I did look in to doing a baby blessing and was going to have Pastor April (who married us) perform the ceremony. I really liked the idea but when it came down to it we decided against it. For no other reason than the fact that I wanted to save the money for a big party to be her 1st Birthday and I knew we couldn't afford to do both.

You have to do what you and DH feel comfortable with and try not to let others pressure you in to anything you are uncomfortable doing. I know it is easier said than done.

I was married by pastor April as well. Totally loved my ceremony and everything he words stood for, but once again got shit from my fam "omg, you're not getting married in the church?!?" and how do you know if this officiant is the real deal LOL. Seriously fam doesn't understand me being different and it sucks. Like being the black sheep for simply not being a follower... Oh well...

I am the black sheep too...always have been!

But think about this...you already had the strength to break away from the "followers" by not getting married in the Church and having Pastor April perform your ceremony and you can do it again with your child if that is what you want. KWIM?

I took out the "follower" word bc I didnt mean it the way it came off. I didn't follow in my family's footsteps and it seems to have hit a nerve over all these years lol

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...

Posted by nraboni

Posted by MaZz

Posted by nraboni

Posted by MaZz

Posted by nraboni

We did not baptize our DD and we never intended to. I am a non-practicing Catholic and DH does not have a religious affiliation.

I told my family when I got pregnant that we did not plan on baptizing the baby. Each time it was mentioned to me I would say "No, we are not baptizing her. When the time comes, I will teach her about all of the different types of religious beliefs and if she chooses to associate herself with one then it will be her choice and not mine."

After saying that a few too many times they all got the message. Plus, I am not a traditional person in the sense of religious tradition anyway. We were not married in a church or had any type of religious ceremony.

I did look in to doing a baby blessing and was going to have Pastor April (who married us) perform the ceremony. I really liked the idea but when it came down to it we decided against it. For no other reason than the fact that I wanted to save the money for a big party to be her 1st Birthday and I knew we couldn't afford to do both.

You have to do what you and DH feel comfortable with and try not to let others pressure you in to anything you are uncomfortable doing. I know it is easier said than done.

I was married by pastor April as well. Totally loved my ceremony and everything he words stood for, but once again got shit from my fam "omg, you're not getting married in the church?!?" and how do you know if this officiant is the real deal LOL. Seriously fam doesn't understand me being different and it sucks. Like being the black sheep for simply not being a follower... Oh well...

I am the black sheep too...always have been!

But think about this...you already had the strength to break away from the "followers" by not getting married in the Church and having Pastor April perform your ceremony and you can do it again with your child if that is what you want. KWIM?

I took out the "follower" word bc I didnt mean it the way it came off. I didn't follow in my family's footsteps and it seems to have hit a nerve over all these years lol

I completely understood how you meant it. We are a different generation and it is difficult when our families pressure us to do things we are not comfortable with. But like I said before...you were strong enough to have the marriage ceremony that you and DH wanted and you can be strong enough to make this decision too.

Re: Feeling pressured to baptize...