Playdates with a "hitter"

I dont know what to do anymore other than avoid making playdates. We do playdates often with a little boy who is same age as DS (almost 3). But this little boy is a hitter, pusher, and will come in DS's face and scream loud as can be so that he doesnt touch the same toys. I'm at my wits end because I enjoy hanging out with his mom, but I dont want to put my son through it anymore. My DS has never been a hitter and when the other little boy acts up like this, DS just walks away and does his own thing. But recently hes started chasing DS just to hit and smack him...hard...and most times in the head! Im becoming very frustrated and aside from just not having playdates anymore (which will offend his mother) I dont see what else I can do. DH gets so angry and is now trying to teach DS to hit cause he doesnt want him to be bullied in life. I dont agree with this method but what else is there?? Advice?

Re: Playdates with a "hitter"

What does the mom say? If she doesn't intervene, I would and if she takes offense to that then I wouldn't have play dates anymore. as you said, I wouldn't subject my child to that type of behavior over and over again.

Re: Playdates with a "hitter"

Playdates with a

Nope, I won't let my child be exposed to that type of behavior. I would stop the play dates. It stinks for you because you like the mom. Maybe catch lunch with her once in a while without the kids.

Playdates with a

I would stop the play dates. I agree with doing a "Moms Night Out" with her, alone.

Re: Playdates with a "hitter"

I am a mom of a hitter. He has gotten a lot better, but mostly does it when he gets frustrated or doesn't want to be told no, by adults or kids. I understand why other parents don't want their kids around this. If I can speak to the other side of it, it's very tough for me to help my son stop hitting when we don't have play dates or outings where we can work on it.

What I started doing with my son is give him 3 chances at the playground. If I caught him hitting 3x, that's it, we're done and we're leaving. Even if we only arrived 10 minutes ago. If you are comfortable talking to the mom about it, maybe you guys could work out some arrangement like this. If the mom is not really interested in working on this with her son, then I would probably stop the playdates, too.

Re: Playdates with a "hitter"

Posted by waiting4ablessing

Posted by Lucky

What does the mom say? If she doesn't intervene, I would and if she takes offense to that then I wouldn't have play dates anymore. as you said, I wouldn't subject my child to that type of behavior over and over again.

she yells at him but he hits her too and then has a tantrum. its the same thinge everytime we are with them. then to get him to stop the tantrum she offers him snacks and treats which ive told her is basically telling him "good job....keep hitting and acting up". he throws stuff at her yells no. i guess we've got to stop having playdates until he learns that his behavior is unacceptable.

Playdates with a

Since mom is not effective in controlling his behavior, I would stop the play dates. If mom asks why, I would be honest with her and that you are finding that your DC is picking up on these habits which is not acceptable to you or DH.