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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
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how to carefully approach clothing color issue
close relative/friend says they are going to buy the baby tons of x color stuff.
they ask if you care. you dont really think about it and say its fine cause you are happy the  is getting more clothes.
you bring comment up to dh and they say
1. they dont like that color for a girl
2. that color is so associated to the adult that they dont want to be reminded of someone else when they see the clothes.
after thinking of it it does make sense to me and when I went into a store aafter that I realized I really dont like that color solid but is a little tollerable when in a mixture of colors.
dh is going to have to nicely bring it up.....how does he do it without offending them.
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Posted 6/16/12 4:52 PM  |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
I don't know if I would even say anything. It's tricky because they are obviously doing something nice/generous and you want to be appreciative.
I'd probably just say thank you and either not put DD in it often or try to return it. I'm pretty picky about clothing DD wears too so often times I just donate the clothing if I can't return it.
Since the person asked you if you cared it does open it up a bit more. If it was my mom or my MIL (I'm close to both) I'd probably be honest and say "Hey I was looking at girl clothing and don't love it in that color actually". However, if it was any other family member or friend I wouldn't say anything.
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| Posted 6/16/12 5:46 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
If someone wants to give you a gift, you smile and say "Thank you'.
if you don't like the clothes don't have your kid wear them, but I wouldn't make an issue.
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| Posted 6/16/12 7:56 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by JME78
If someone wants to give you a gift, you smile and say "Thank you'.
if you don't like the clothes don't have your kid wear them, but I wouldn't make an issue.
ITA 
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| Posted 6/16/12 7:59 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
Name:
Krista
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
i agree with the others
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| Posted 6/16/12 8:04 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by JME78
If someone wants to give you a gift, you smile and say "Thank you'.
if you don't like the clothes don't have your kid wear them, but I wouldn't make an issue.
ITA
If it is from someone random, just say thank you. If not, just return it. If you are really close to the person you could ask for a gift receipt or say I would love to join you layette shopping.
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| Posted 6/16/12 8:51 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
if they werent close id normaly just donate it
but they are close and see us plenty that theyd expect to at least see pictures of in it...
and it honestly will probably be alot that I cant keep running to the store to exchange.
this person also has gotten offended someone else keeps exchanging clothes she gets them
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| Posted 6/16/12 9:58 PM |
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mrsyoungmommy
can't wait to meet Sophia!
Member since 6/10 1441 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
What color is it? Little girls look so adorable in everything they wear. I don't think it would be such a big problem. And if your DH is upset over your DD wearing a specific color from this specific person, take a couple of pics with her in them and post them on fb so said person can feel good.
I don't like monkeys. I am telling everyone about our no monkey clause, however, if she gets a monkey outfit, I'm not going to return it...I'll just put her in it when she isn't going to see anyone lol
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| Posted 6/17/12 8:25 AM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Maybe buy a few things that are your style, then excitedly show the possible offenders and make sure you make a big deal about why you love those outfits ? Maybe they will get the hint.
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| Posted 6/17/12 9:05 AM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
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Mama mama mama....
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by mrsyoungmommy
What color is it? Little girls look so adorable in everything they wear. I don't think it would be such a big problem. And if your DH is upset over your DD wearing a specific color from this specific person, take a couple of pics with her in them and post them on fb so said person can feel good.
I don't like monkeys. I am telling everyone about our no monkey clause, however, if she gets a monkey outfit, I'm not going to return it...I'll just put her in it when she isn't going to see anyone lol
That's the best plan IMO. My ILs have bought stuff for DD in colors/styles I don't love, but my baby still looks adorable.
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| Posted 6/17/12 9:08 AM |
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by butterfly20
if they werent close id normaly just donate it
but they are close and see us plenty that theyd expect to at least see pictures of in it...
and it honestly will probably be alot that I cant keep running to the store to exchange.
this person also has gotten offended someone else keeps exchanging clothes she gets them
They are buying you gifts. Just put her in them when you see them. I got lots of stuff I wouldn't personally buy, but I put my kids in them because that person took time out and money to get something for our child, and it was less I had to spend. Kids go through clothes so fast she might wear each outfit once. I wouldn't say anything because unless they are buying her something inappropriate you would seem ungrateful IMHO.
Edited to add my grandparents bought the WORST clothing for my dd and yet she still wore them. I'm talking skulls, total boy outfits, and just plain old clothing. I cringed when I put her in them, but seeing how happy they were was worth it.
Message edited 6/17/2012 12:35:04 PM.
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| Posted 6/17/12 12:33 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
ive already tried the excited over another color aproach. didnt work. shessaid shes excited over her color. thats the only color she plans on picking out.
I have also said how my mom got a bunch of clothes on sale in the color I love. stil didnt work.
I just dont like the idea of someone spending so much and we would barely use it when they could get us something wed use alot. ds went through alot of clothes. thats why im wondering how to graciously not offend them.
yeah the color might look ok but this person always wears that color and im always going to remember that.and its kinda feels like them trying to live through our kid.oI
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| Posted 6/17/12 1:24 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
I don't get how a single color could be so offensive. And who buys clothes in a single color only and announces it beforehand? Is this really how the situation went, or is it like 'symbolic' of something else?
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| Posted 6/17/12 1:53 PM |
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by butterfly20
ive already tried the excited over another color aproach. didnt work. shessaid shes excited over her color. thats the only color she plans on picking out.
I have also said how my mom got a bunch of clothes on sale in the color I love. stil didnt work.
I just dont like the idea of someone spending so much and we would barely use it when they could get us something wed use alot. ds went through alot of clothes. thats why im wondering how to graciously not offend them.
yeah the color might look ok but this person always wears that color and im always going to remember that.and its kinda feels like them trying to live through our kid.oI
Like I said DD had some awful outfits but in the end free clothing is free clothing. I would just move on. In 2 months DD will be into a new size. I have found telling people the truth is way more harmful. It makes you sound ungrateful and people remember that stuff. You may need other things, but you just said you went through a lot of clothes last time. You DO need clothes, but you want to put limitations on a gift. Maybe mention you're all set for clothes next time you see them or mention that so and so offered you clothes for free or that so and so wanted to get you something and what you really need is xyz. If the amount of clothing is obnoxious you could just say thank you so much, but right now we are all set. I would hate for you to spend your money on something we already have so much of. It means a lot though that you were thinking of us!
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| Posted 6/17/12 4:37 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by InShock
I don't get how a single color could be so offensive. And who buys clothes in a single color only and announces it beforehand? Is this really how the situation went, or is it like 'symbolic' of something else?
I know I keep trying to figure this out... like is it Carolina Blue and you guys are Dukies or something? They're getting you all Yankees pinstripes but you bleed Red Sox red?
I totally think I'm missing something here. If it upsets you and you don't want your child wearing it, just stick them in the diaper bag as emergency outfits. Or hang them in the closet, never use them, then give them away when she outgrows the size. Or get creative and accessories with other colors or something.
There is so, so much to worry about once you have a child -- I couldn't tell you what outfit my daughter wore two days ago. It'll all work out even if they insist on giving you the offensive color clothes.
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| Posted 6/17/12 4:54 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Was trying not to offend anyone on here on the color, but I guess there are people who probably don't like pink that I love... Its purple.
We wouldn't be bothered by a little purple(and only use it when we visit these people) but one of the comments (among similar others )was your going to need a new dresser for all the purple stuff, and they'll be looking for pictures of
in the stuff they don't see her wearing.
We'll be getting baby gear too as gifts, so I don't think saying we have alot of clothes is going to stop it.
Its tough cause we don't want to offend or seem ungrateful. Thats why I don't know how to approach it. dh didn't like the color to begin with, I wasn't bothered with the color but now that we know its a girl neither of us like that that clothes color will be a constant reminder of the gift giver. Yeah there's other issues behind it, sometimes the person acts like ds is there kid, and tries to take over when they are around, so maybe its a control issue that we don't want them to start acting like dd is their kid.
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| Posted 6/18/12 8:07 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
i don't mean for this to come off the wrong way but my feeling is this, they are gifts. accept them graciously and move on. purple is probably the 2nd most popular color for a girl ... not like its black, ya know?
if you do not like the color, try returning them or exchanging them.
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| Posted 6/18/12 8:12 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by maymama
i don't mean for this to come off the wrong way but my feeling is this, they are gifts. accept them graciously and move on. purple is probably the 2nd most popular color for a girl ... not like its black, ya know?
if you do not like the color, try returning them or exchanging them.
I agree.
Also - I am sure you are going to get a ton of pink stuff otherwise so purple may be a welcome change every so often...
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| Posted 6/18/12 8:34 AM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by maymama
i don't mean for this to come off the wrong way but my feeling is this, they are gifts. accept them graciously and move on. purple is probably the 2nd most popular color for a girl ... not like its black, ya know?
if you do not like the color, try returning them or exchanging them.
Haha....... your telling this to a girl who at 3 demanded to wear black.....
I just don't want more of that color than pink when I only plan on having to use 1 of 7 days of the week.
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| Posted 6/18/12 10:43 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by butterfly20
I just don't want more of that color than pink when I only plan on having to use 1 of 7 days of the week.
You're going to need at least 2, sometimes 3 or 4, outfits a day at the beginning. Just let her poop on the purple ones.
DD is 17 m now and overnight she pees through her diapers probably 3-4 days a week. So she goes through two outfits a day now too. Just use the stuff you don't like overnight, too, then.
Clothes are always useful. Or tie-dye them, draw on them, dye them, pair them with other colors (purple and pink is a fun little combo, as is purple and green)...
It'll be fine. I had my daughter dressed in a Mets onesie today and people kept calling her a boy. I didn't even care. Clothes don't make the baby! (Plus I still change her diaper many, many times a day and I'm certain she's a girl.)
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| Posted 6/18/12 10:49 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
I'm sure all of us will get some not-so-cute things from people. Everyone has different taste. If it's not someone you see often and you can, exchange it. If it is, take a pic of the baby in it and show them or put it on when they are around only. Or like Sandra said, let her poop in it 
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| Posted 6/19/12 9:00 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
I am sorry but I am having so much trouble seeing the issue here. Purple is and can be a very feminine color and it makes sense that if someone preferred that to pink they would want to buy purple clothing (I know a lot of people who don't like the color pink for one reason or another).
IMO - and I mean this in the nicest way possible - you're being ridiculous. This person wants to give you a gift, correct? So you smile and say thank you and that's it. 
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| Posted 6/19/12 9:15 AM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Honestly, I'd tell my DH to get over it. To make an issue over this is really petty. It's a gift, accept it with gratitude and move on!
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| Posted 6/19/12 10:39 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
Posted by butterfly20
Posted by maymama
i don't mean for this to come off the wrong way but my feeling is this, they are gifts. accept them graciously and move on. purple is probably the 2nd most popular color for a girl ... not like its black, ya know?
if you do not like the color, try returning them or exchanging them.
Haha....... your telling this to a girl who at 3 demanded to wear black.....
I just don't want more of that color than pink when I only plan on having to use 1 of 7 days of the week.
huh? my point is that purple is going to make its way into your house - it is a popular color for girls and people will gift you purple clothing and items. if you are stressing about this, I envy what little stress you have! this is not something to worry about. if you don't like it, return or exchange. 
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| Posted 6/19/12 10:44 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: how to carefully approach clothing color issue
complaining about someone buying you gifts? It makes you seem like you are a a control freak. Enjoy your pregnancy and the people who want to shower you with presents. In the long scheme of things, this is such a small thing to be concerned over.
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| Posted 6/19/12 11:13 AM |
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