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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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advice for social situation
Hi all -
I'm still pretty early in my pregnancy (6w3d) and looking for opinions about an upcoming social thing.
Just got final details about a bachelorette party for next weekend. It's a prix fixe dinner and they require a minimum of $25/person be spent on beverages/alcohol. With this group of girls, I'm expecting the alcohol bill to pretty much be an closer to an extra $50 - 60 per person.
By the party, I will be just about 8w, but we aren't tell anyone until 12 weeks. So, I'm looking for suggestions on how to handle. Should I email the party host (I've never met her) and tell her my situation in private to see if I can opt out of the alcohol? Should I suck it up and pay the extra cost and stay mum? Should I skip the party altogether? Curious what everyone else would do.
TIA!!
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Posted 4/26/12 12:39 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: advice for social situation
Who is the bachelorette? A friend or family member? If you really want it to stay a secret until 12 weeks you have to consider if you tell the hostess and/or the bachelorette it might get back to your other friends or family. If it was a close enough friend, I'd just tell her and the hostess. Good luck!! Dodging alcohol is usually when all the questions start coming up! lol
eta: sorry I missed the line where you said you never met the hostess! I probably wouldn't tell her.....
Message edited 4/26/2012 12:53:43 PM.
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:47 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: advice for social situation
i would not tell the hostess that you never met..she will tell others..
I would just suck it up and pay to avoid the questions.
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:50 PM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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Re: advice for social situation
I would just suck it up and pay.
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:52 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: advice for social situation
I would suck it up and pay. DEF wouldnt tell some girl I never met before...
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| Posted 4/26/12 1:34 PM |
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OnceUponATyme
LIF Infant
Member since 1/11 316 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: advice for social situation
i definitely wouldn't tell the hostess that doesn't know me...keeping a secret requires a lot of loyalty! I would just go to the party and say that you are on some antibiotics and the doc told you to avoid alcohol, that way you may end up chipping in or you might also get away with not having to chip in because everyone will feel like "aw you didn't even get to drink!"...i'd take my chances with that story rather than tell anyone! good luck!
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| Posted 4/26/12 2:25 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: advice for social situation
I prob wouldn't go. You may even have nausea by this point. I know I didn't want anything to do with going out to eat then. I wouldn't tell the hostess. And I have a real problem in general paying for others to get sh*tfaced LOL
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| Posted 4/26/12 2:30 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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Re: advice for social situation
Posted by MaZz
I prob wouldn't go. You may even have nausea by this point. I know I didn't want anything to do with going out to eat then. I wouldn't tell the hostess. And I have a real problem in general paying for others to get sh*tfaced LOL
ITA - i wouldn't go. Your friends will understand in about a month or two 
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| Posted 4/26/12 2:43 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: advice for social situation
thanks ladies! i appreciate all of the advice.
part of me definitely feels annoyed at having to pay for everyone else to get wasted. i'm not super close with this girl, so won't know too many people there.
but the other part is like, stop being cheap and deal with it.
i think pregnancy is turning me into a crazy person!
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| Posted 4/26/12 2:57 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: advice for social situation
since youre not super close to this girl i wouldnt go.
i know everyone is different but from week 7-14 i was nausea hell!!!!!!
and wouldnt you know at the end of week 7 it was my sil 30th bday so i had to go out to celebrate and i was miserable!!!!!!!! i sucked it up because i love her to death.
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| Posted 4/26/12 3:01 PM |
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SurferChick
LIF Infant
Member since 10/11 114 total posts
Name:
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Re: advice for social situation
I just had to do this and was about as far along as you'll be at the time. I had to go to the party because it's a close friend and I am in the wedding. I sucked up having to pay most of the time. The only time I didn't is when we stopped for a drink and I didn't have anything except water.
Its actually a lot more difficult than you think to hide. For me, I told my one girlfriend and she helped out as much as she could by not having afternnon drinks or not having drinks with dinner. This way It didn;t seem like I was the only one. But given the choice, I wouldn't go to the party.
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| Posted 4/26/12 3:04 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: advice for social situation
Posted by MRsFaTThead
since youre not super close to this girl i wouldnt go.
i know everyone is different but from week 7-14 i was nausea hell!!!!!!
and wouldnt you know at the end of week 7 it was my sil 30th bday so i had to go out to celebrate and i was miserable!!!!!!!! i sucked it up because i love her to death.
ughh, really? i haven't had much nausea at all, so thought i was in the clear. better keep my fingers crossed!
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| Posted 4/26/12 3:06 PM |
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BBin2012
Full heart!
Member since 8/11 1835 total posts
Name:
Ka
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Re: advice for social situation
Posted by wishing2012
part of me definitely feels annoyed at having to pay for everyone else to get wasted.
Get used to it!! This will happen a lot over the next 9 months when you go out with a group for dinner etc... it's annoying. 
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| Posted 4/26/12 3:57 PM |
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missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: advice for social situation
If you're not that close to her I wouldn't bother going. At 8 weeks (and well now even lol) I would not be in the mood to go to a bach party.
If you do go I'd just suck it up...think of it as helping the bachelorette enjoy her last night! ETA- Do you know many of the other girls going? Maybe if they notice you aren't drinking any alchohol they will offer to split the bill a little more fairly!
Message edited 4/26/2012 4:27:37 PM.
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| Posted 4/26/12 4:26 PM |
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JackiePags
They're the love of my life
Member since 8/10 1299 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: advice for social situation
I would suck it up. Being the host is sometimes frustrating and making an exception is more work. Plus, if you really want to keep it a secret I would really tell no one. Just drink some cranberry juice and say its a cran/vodka...
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| Posted 4/26/12 4:29 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: advice for social situation
Posted by wishing2012
thanks ladies! i appreciate all of the advice.
part of me definitely feels annoyed at having to pay for everyone else to get wasted. i'm not super close with this girl, so won't know too many people there.
but the other part is like, stop being cheap and deal with it.
i think pregnancy is turning me into a crazy person!
Tthen I wouldn't even go, you aren't in the wedding party everyone will understand. Beside you are going to be solo tired
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| Posted 4/27/12 9:32 AM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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Re: advice for social situation
Well if you're not super close I wouldnt go
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| Posted 4/27/12 9:38 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: advice for social situation
Posted by wo0shply
Well if you're not super close I wouldnt go
ditto!! if you're not close.. dont go!! rest up!!
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| Posted 4/27/12 9:42 AM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: advice for social situation
I would just suck it up and pay... then discreetly order seltzer and cranberry so it looks like I'm drinking.
Good luck!
ETA: Just read that you are not super close with the girl... then decide if you feel like a night out... if not, don't go. If you do, pay and enjoy the food!
Message edited 4/27/2012 11:07:54 AM.
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| Posted 4/27/12 11:06 AM |
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