Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Now that I'm obsessed with Momastery (thanks Erin!). I read her blog daily. She gave fantastic insight to the SAHM vs FTWM debate . . .

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Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

I completely agree with her insight! It's a sacrifice either way.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

I love her!

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Wow... that was amazing.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

This is great!

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Love it!

This is so true:
Mommy Guilt is like that scene from “Liar Liar” in which Jim Carrey enters a bathroom, throws himself against the walls, slams his head into the toilet, and rubs soap into his eyes. When a confused observer asks what on Earth he’s doing he says, “I WAS KICKIN’ MY ASS! DO YA MIND?”

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

I love this! Thanks so much for sharing!!

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

These are words to live by, ON ALL debatable issues:

So, maybe instead of tearing each other up, we could each admit that we’re a bit torn up about our choices, or lack thereof. And we could offer each other a shoulder or a hand. And then maybe our girls would see what it really means to be a woman

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

My feeling on the whole SAHM and FTWM debate is simple................to each his own. What works for one person may not work for another.

I am a SAHM and I made that choice because that's what was important to me and what works for MY family. Just because that was MY choice doesn't mean I have a right to criticize anyone for their choice, in this case, to work. I don't know someone's reasons for working, I don't know how it feels every day to have to leave your child behind, I don't know what it's like to struggle to balance a home life and a work life, so I generally shut up about it. I *personally* don't know how working moms do it, it must be hard and I give them credit because I don't think I have it in me to do.

Just because my choice was to stay-at-home doesn't give me a right to criticize someone for working. (And vice versa) I think people need to learn to respect the choices one makes without feeling the need to make that person feel guilty or bad about that choice.

It was an interesting article. Thanks for posting!

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

LOVE LOVE LOVE that!

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Amen from this mommy who has also been on both sides of the fence.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

thanks for this

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

This was a good read.

I am a FTWM and would have it no other way. I do not need to work financially but I love working. I love teaching, I love gossiping with colleagues, having lunch with friends, and getting dressed up everyday. I worked very hard to get my position and take pride in it.

I look forward to the weekends so I can hang out with DS all day, but I feel its the best of both worlds.

DS is not in daycare, he is with DH during the day and me at night. He spends quality time with both of us and on weekends we spend family time. He goes to classes, on playdates and spends a lot of time with family members.

No one should judge someone elses decision. Some are not able to be SAHM and others (like me) simply choose not to. This is the same debate as breastfeeding vs formula feeding. Everyone should mind their own and not judge. I was glad to read this blog entry :)

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

That was a really great read. And so true about mommy guilt...it's always there, no matter what you do.

I am a FTWM. When I am working all I want to do is become a SAHM. And then when I've been a temporary SAHM for brief periods of time, I wanted to work. It's difficult to be a SAHM and it's difficult to be a FTWM. What's important is we do what's best for us and our families. For me, I feel working makes me a better mother.

Just like the blog says... we beat ourselves up enough. We don't need to beat each other up. We have one thing in common...we are mothers trying to give our children the best life they can have.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

You know what i find really ironic?? There was a comment after the blog where someone said "like a SAHM could formula feed and let their baby CIO whereas a working mom might breastfeed and not let her baby CIO"...

LOL. I just have to laugh at the irony. Applauding a blog where women shouldn't judge one anothers decision, yet some of the comments are still judging...

Good article though...I always wonder why moms insist on ripping one another apart. Doesn't make any sense when all of us are trying to just be good parents.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

This was perfect. I needed this today, especially, as I dropped my daughter off at daycare crying on her 1st Birthday.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Wow... I am a SAHM and have none of her SAHM mommy guilt. I do the best I can and don't feel guilty about it. Maybe b/c I have never been a FTWM, so I don't have the 2 to compare it to like her, IDK.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

I really have never had the interest or energy to debate these kinds of topics with other moms but I really likes this paragraph because it applies universally to the notion of how certain woman feel the need to knock one another down when their choices/circumstances may be different:


So, angry, debating ladies… here’s the thing. My daughter is watching me AND you to learn what it means to be a woman. And I’d like her to learn that a woman’s value is determined less by her career choices and more by how she treats other women, in particular, women who are different than she is. I’d like her to learn that her strength is defined by her honesty and her ability to exist in grey areas without succumbing to masking her insecurities with generalizations or accusations. And I’d like her to learn that the only way to be both graceful and powerful is to dance among the endless definitions of the word woman… and to refuse to organize women into categories, to view ideas in black and white, or to choose sides and come out swinging. Because being a woman is not that easy, and it’s not that hard.

Re: Great insight on SAHM and FTWM

Amen! It's true for mom's of boys too. Our children, girls and boys see everything we do and everything everyone else does and they will be shaped by it all. I have worked, I have stayed home and most of all I have felt everthing this person wrote. I hate mom-bashing. Dad's don't do this to eachother, why do we?