Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

DD is 9 months old and still is not a good sleeper. I really don't want to do CIO (I have nothing against people doing it, I just would rather not for us if possible) but I'm starting to wonder if she'll ever sleep well without it.

I've started recently doing a strict bedtime routine- dinner, bath, stories, nurse to sleep in the rocker then place in crib sleeping. Usually this works, sometimes she's just not tired and I have to repeat the nursing to sleep several times. I've tried (from day 1) "putting her down sleepy but not sleeping" and she NEVER goes to sleep like this. I've tried putting her down sleepy and rubbing her back, singing to her, playing the sleep sheep, even let her cry for 5-10 mins and she just won't fall asleep unless she's nursing or in her swing.

On top of not being able to fall asleep on her own, she also doesn't STTN. She's up anywhere from 1-5 times a night, usually 2 on average. When she wakes I bring her to my bed, nurse her, she falls back asleep and I put her back in her crib. I've tried going in her room and rubbing her back to try to get her back to sleep but she just screams as soon as I walk away.

Naps during the day are a nightmare. She falls asleep nursing and will sleep indefinitely in my arms but either wakes as soon as I put her in her crib or may sleep for 20-45 mins then is up. She used to nap great in the swing but I don't want to keep using that as a crutch (she's almost too big for it anyway).

If you made it this far, thank you! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I can deal with this routine for now but I worry about what will happen when she gets older, especially when we stop nursing.

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

Uh oh. This lack of response is just confirming my fears, lol!

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

We were ridiculously lucky in that DD sttn and soothed herself to sleep immediately. However, she does not really nap during the day. Are you EBF? The only thing I wonder is if she is hungry at night. Maybe she needs extra feedings or food during the day. Could she be napping too much during the day? Other than that i would day stick with your routine.

I know how you feel about CIO being so tough. I let DD cry during the day for an hour to get her to fall asleep for 10 minutes. I had no choice, I needed to prepare her pureed food for the week and she wouldn't let me put her down. If worse comes to worse you may have to do the same

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

My DS was a frequent waker as well. He would always go right back to sleep after nursing, but he still woke every few hours until he was..............................17 months! One night while on vacation in Cape May this past summer he surprised us by sleeping the entire night through. That lasted a few glorious months. Now he's 25 months and since around November he's been waking once a night looking for water or a banana or a very quick hug/snuggle from me or DH. He then goes right back down. We are happy with this....as we know it's just another phase that he will grow out of. CIO wasn't for us either. From what I understand, CIO sometimes needs to be re-done at various stages throughout their early years anyway. I believe that sleep is a developmental milestone that all children will master in their own time. There are many reasons they wake up, whether we as adults see them as valid is another point. I always felt the need to nurture him for whatever was going on for him. His emotional security at night is as important to me as his daytime needs. He'll be independent soon enough. And for us, it has worked beautifully. Now, I miss our co-sleeping, our close, quiet moments in the middle of the night and his soft, sleeping skin against my face. He has a positive association with sleep and I think that helped when he initiated the transition from our bed to a full size bed over the summer too (we put it in his room for us, and he preferred it to being crammed in our bed : ). I know you're in the thick of it now, but there is an end and it's likely sooner than you think. BFing definitely contributes, as does her young age. Wait until she's walking, running, climbing, eating more food and nursing less. Things will naturally change and your baby will evolve into a beautiful, peaceful, happy sleeper too.

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

I did CIO but heres my take on it. My purpose of doing CIO was to give my DD a way to learn how to soothe herself back to sleep without using me as a crutch. I feel this is so important for them, as babies, as toddlers and even as adults. I think this is best for them in the long, but thats me personally. The fact that your DD is quiet while you rub her back but cries when you leave tells me she just needs help going back to sleep and she has not learned to do that yet without you. . She is definitely not hungry (even though she would eat if you fed her). After I did CIO, my DD's sleep improved dramatically - not just for bedtime but for naps as well. She started STTN as well as extended her naps (from 30 mins to over an hour then to 2 hours and now 3 hours). This is because anytime she woke up (which is normal for babies), she could put herself back to sleep. My DD also never cries when she wakes up, bc she is well rested. When she wakes up crying, I know she is still tired and I let her cry for a few minutes and she almost always goes back to sleep. Without the ability to self soothe, it is difficult for them to fall back to sleep on their own. I have read so many books and done so much research on this bc i wanted to try without letting her cry, but at the end of it all, CIO worked for us and it really only took one day of it for it to work. I know what you're going through....and im not trying to persuade you one way or another, but i really feel that without that self soothing ability, you will always have some sort of sleeping issues one way or another (Sometimes not showing up until adulthood aka issues with insomnia).

I have to say, life with a baby who sleeps well is a dramatic difference. its a whole new world...and its much better for both parties.

Message edited 1/13/2012 11:58:40 PM.

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

I never did CIO with any of my kids . We kind of adjusted to eachothers schedules (KWIM) , and they all sleep through the night. I never forced them to go to sleep by a certain time .If they woke up, I would pop in ,and calm them down ( they all used binkies, so I would make sure they had it). They all took 2-3 naps a day ,and would be in bed by 9. Maybe I was just lucky? Not sure .

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

My DD is 7 months but sounds very similar. I also ebf and fear the day we wean. Right now we nurse to sleep at night which can take an hour...but that I don't mind bc while she is nursing I relax and watch tv. Usually I can put her down sleeping in her crib but sometimes she wakes up and I have to try again. She wakes 2 times at night...but the 1st wake up I've learned that if I don't go running in, she will fall back to sleep...if not I rock her for a min and shes asleep. I do not nurse her the 1st wake up. The 2nd wake up is usually between 3:30 & 5:30...by then I figure she might be hungry, so I nurse her and she goes back to sleep after about 10 mins and sleeps til 9 or 10.

She is not the best napper. I've learned that after she wakes up, eats breakfast, and plays...she is usually ready to bf/ nap by 11:30. I've been letting her nap in the carriage (its a bassinet top) and she has been sleeping for about 2 hours every day. If she doesn't fall asleep for her nap while bfing...I lay her in the carriage and rock her and she's usually out within 15 minutes. Then I've noticed that she is tired again around 4:30...so I try to get her to take another quick nap...but it doesn't always work. I hate letting her nap so late...but when I tried keeping her up hoping she would go to bed for the night earlier...she fell asleep at 7:30...but woke up @ 9:00 wide awake. Right now her normal bedtime is 9:30. I'm working on making it earlier.

I have NO IDEA what will happen when I stop bfing. I'm hoping that she will self wean and find a new way to soothe herself as she gets older. CIO is not for me...I've let her cry for half an hour...and the crying escalates without seeming like it will ever end... Torture for all of us...even the dog looked at me like "well....she's crying, go get her" lol!

Re: Anyone have a good sleeper who didn't use CIO?

Thanks for the responses, they make me feel much better! I can totally relate to what a lot of you are saying. I worry that if I don't do CIO that she'll never learn to self sooth (and often I've come close to doing it), but on the other hand it just doesn't feel right letting her cry. I really appreciate hearing all of your experiences!