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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
We were at the playground today and DS did not want to share his new bubble toy with a girl. He did share it with his 2 friends and did not mind another girl who we didn't know. DS singled out one girl and did not let her play with it. He did not share it until the very end. I had to fight with him and take it away while he threw a tantrum. The mother of the girl decided to go home and apologized for making DS upset. I didn't think she needed to apologize. I felt so bad that my DS would not share.
Do you make your DC share toys with strangers?
I thought DS should share even though we didn't know the girl.
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Posted 6/13/11 10:46 PM  |
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memi7206
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2355 total posts
Name:
Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
no, as long as he is doing a reasonable amount of sharing and has made an effort to share, I do not make him share his toy every single time someone wants it. IMO, it is his after all and he shouldnt have to give up playing with it just bc someone else wants it. Again.....as long as he has done a reasonable amount of sharing, or gave the child another toy he had in lieu of the toy he is playing with. My feeling is, sometimes, he wants to play with that toy just as much as that other child, so why shouldnt he get too?
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| Posted 6/13/11 10:50 PM |
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
ahhh playground politics
now we bring sand shovels and buckets and i write his name on everything.....so no confusion when we leave..
anyway, I say to try to share or take turns..or "why don't you ask that nice child if he/she wants to help you build a sand castle."
it's so awkward though.
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| Posted 6/13/11 10:54 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
I feel so uncomfortable when parents make their toddlers share. I don't share my toys (my phone, my car, my jewlerly) kwim, why should they be forced to.
I notice that when left to their own devices toddlers share on their own, its how they communicate. I just think parental involvement in their intricate social interactions ruins it.
If a baby or child really wants to play with DS toys, I ask he share, he's always really good about it because he's curious about interaction, I don't know how I will handle it when he's not open to sharing, but I'm so uncomfortable with forcing a child to share, or making them play with something they didn't choose to.
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| Posted 6/13/11 11:03 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
I usually only bring a ball to the park so yeah, I don't mind if another kid wants to play with it with DS as long as the kid doesn't grab the toy out of my kids hands & tried to play alone with it.
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| Posted 6/14/11 5:56 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
I dont bring any of ds toys to the park. If I did, honestly i would force him to share his bubbles, unless we were there with someone we know.
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| Posted 6/14/11 6:04 AM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
I'm the parent who brings 3 things of bubbles, 4 pails and shovels and 3 trucks to the playground so that if other kids want to play there is plenty to go around. I actually met a new mommy friend that way when her daughter wanted to play with DS last week. For the price of bubbles $1, it's worth it not to have the kids 'fight' over toys and instead play together with the same/similar things.
And carrying a small beach bag of toys is no skin off my back.
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| Posted 6/14/11 7:15 AM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Yes, in your situation I would do exactly as you did, only because he chose not to share it with just one child. I hate to see one child left out.
But in general, no. We usually have era buckets and shovels and then we are always willing to share. But honestly i hate when a kid gets up and goes across the playground to play with my kid's toy and never returns it or says thank you!
If a kid is playing with my child, I encourage them to share.
At a party the other day my son brought his basketball. Another kid started playing with it and my son sainted it back, but I told him unless he was playing with it, he should share. SO he did. Later he asked for it back and played with it. When he was done he let the kid borrow it again.
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| Posted 6/14/11 7:23 AM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Posted by Elbee
I'm the parent who brings 3 things of bubbles, 4 pails and shovels and 3 trucks to the playground so that if other kids want to play there is plenty to go around. I actually met a new mommy friend that way when her daughter wanted to play with DS last week. For the price of bubbles $1, it's worth it not to have the kids 'fight' over toys and instead play together with the same/similar things.
And carrying a small beach bag of toys is no skin off my back.
Ditto. I usually have extra to share, but if it is something special that DS won't want to share I try to get him to leave it home or in the car.
I probably would have done the same as you because I'd hate to see him single one child out if he was sharing with others. I would have said everyone gets a turn, you use it for 2 minutes and then its little girls turn. Or something like that.
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| Posted 6/14/11 7:31 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Posted by Elbee
I'm the parent who brings 3 things of bubbles, 4 pails and shovels and 3 trucks to the playground so that if other kids want to play there is plenty to go around. I actually met a new mommy friend that way when her daughter wanted to play with DS last week. For the price of bubbles $1, it's worth it not to have the kids 'fight' over toys and instead play together with the same/similar things.
And carrying a small beach bag of toys is no skin off my back.
I do the same. It's so much easier that way.
But, if my DS has a special toy that he wants to play with and someone else wants it, I ask him to share once or twice. If he says no, I don't push him or force him to share. But then, if he wants someone else's toy, I explain to him that bc he didn't share his, he cannot have the other persons.
I don't make a big deal out of it or reprimand him. It is his toy, after all. I feel like he gets first dibs, especially if it is a stranger.
But, if I'm the other mom, I would make it a point to my child that it was not their toy.
I also hate when parents just let their kids use MY kid's toys without asking first and or acknowledging that it's someone else's. drives me bonkers more than my kid not sharing.
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| Posted 6/14/11 7:56 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Yes-if they are playing together.
Especially if he is singling one person out to not share with. That sounds mean, I would have done what you did. Probably taken the toy away.
DD doesn't have to share, but if she won't share the toy goes away until she can play by herself.
I get the whole learning through social interaction, but kids also learn things by having there parents teach them/tell them/model for them. I mean, if we threw them on an island with no parental supervision, I think it would be more Lord of the Flies than a peace loving commune where they just learn as they grow and interact.
Message edited 6/14/2011 8:35:47 AM.
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:18 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
No, I don't expect my children to share their toys with strangers. If we are having a playdate or are with friends, then yes.
Oh and likewise, I wouldn't expect a stranger to share their toy with my children.
Message edited 6/14/2011 8:33:16 AM.
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:32 AM |
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DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!
Member since 11/08 2088 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Posted by BargainMama
No, I don't expect my children to share their toys with strangers. If we are having a playdate or are with friends, then yes.
Oh and likewise, I wouldn't expect a stranger to share their toy with my children.
ITA.
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:45 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
I don't bring DS's toys out with us. I do force him to share the toys that are there already (like steering wheels on the playground, etc). If he won't, we go home.
I don't share my stuff with strangers, so why should he? 
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:48 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
I'm so glad to see these answers...I always bring her pail and things for the sandbox to the park. There's a boy that goes right for them the second she puts them down and doesn't even get a chance to play with them...the mom doesn't do anything and after me asking DD a few times to share she ends up screaming and crying and I never know what to do!!!! I'm so bad at park politics!
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:52 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Posted by pickles16
I'm so glad to see these answers...I always bring her pail and things for the sandbox to the park. There's a boy that goes right for them the second she puts them down and doesn't even get a chance to play with them...the mom doesn't do anything and after me asking DD a few times to share she ends up screaming and crying and I never know what to do!!!! I'm so bad at park politics!
That's different. I would tell the little boy that DD just started playing with them and he can have a turn later-and then just smile at the mom.
As I said, I make my kids share, but that doesn't mean I'm teaching them to be pushovers who just give up their toys.
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:55 AM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
YES!!!! i'm a big sharer!!! i want to teach my children that you should share with your friends or even kids you just meet. the other day i brought my son to work and a father came in with his son and they both started playing with my son's toys and they bonded so nicely. i wish as adults we could make friends that easily!!!! maybe if some of us shared our stuff, the world would be a better place!!!! i hate it when the other kids don't share. it's not nice! go ahead flame away.....and here we go 
Message edited 6/14/2011 9:02:29 AM.
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:56 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by pickles16
I'm so glad to see these answers...I always bring her pail and things for the sandbox to the park. There's a boy that goes right for them the second she puts them down and doesn't even get a chance to play with them...the mom doesn't do anything and after me asking DD a few times to share she ends up screaming and crying and I never know what to do!!!! I'm so bad at park politics!
That's different. I would tell the little boy that DD just started playing with them and he can have a turn later-and then just smile at the mom.
As I said, I make my kids share, but that doesn't mean I'm teaching them to be pushovers who just give up their toys.
See my smile would be the b!tchiest smile I could give and that just wouldn't be pretty...so I always try to get myself and DD out of the situation bc I tend to get mean
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:59 AM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
Posted by headoverheels
I don't share my stuff with strangers, so why should he?
i say to myself..."I don't poop my pants, so why should he?" 
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:59 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you force your kids to share toys with strangers?
You know it is tough - since it is a public playground - my rule is that you shouldn't bring it to the park at all therefore avoiding all those conflicts (our local playground is for residents only and they have balls there for the children to use so I don't feel that there is anything that they can't get there OR can't do at home) - but if you MUST bring a specific toy then I would like them to share it.
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| Posted 6/14/11 9:17 AM |
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