How are you arranging visitors?

Just wondering how everyone plans to arrange their visitors once LO is here. Or if you already had your LO, what did you do?

The reason I am asking is because DH and I are OOS (7 hours from LI). This will be my parents' first grandchild and number 4 on DHs side. Of course everyone wants to see the baby ASAP but considering we only have a 3 bed/2 bath house, we had to come up with a plan. Thankfully everyone is ok with this after a few days of stress. So here is our plan:

When I go into labor we will be calling our parents. Mine and MIL will come down right away and stay at our house while I give birth and am in the hospital. Once LO and I come home, MIL will go back to LI and my parents will stay for the rest of the week. My brother will be coming the nearest weekend to the birth. Once my family leaves, FIL & his wife will be here for as long as they want. Then MIL plans to come back.

This was the only way we can plan so no one would be stuck in a hotel and everyone can get their own special time (my parents were offended MIL would be taking away from "their" time and MIL insisted in being there right away).

So, what do all of you ladies plan to do with your families to give everyone their own special time. Especially if you or family members are OOT?

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

It sounds like you have a good compromise set up for your families! I give you credit for having house guests so close to the baby coming. Our immediate families live in the area so we won't be having anyone stay with us, but I think even if they lived far away we'd probably have them stay at a hotel. I just can't imagine entertaining company after giving birth, but that's just me.

Also, this is our first and I want DH and I to have our own bonding time. I think we're going to really limit visitors in the first week (or two?) so that we can settle into our routine as a family. I know everyone has different views on this type of thing though!

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

Last time I made the miserable mistake of pleasing everyone but myself. I had too many visitors too soon, in the hospital, after my c-section...and had others come over once I was home way too soon.

This time, I am playing it by ear. I am going to go by how *I* feel, everyone else be damned.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

My SIL was fine with everyone coming over whenever they wanted. People were at her house waiting before she even came home with her LO. I thought that it was great that she didn't mind. BUT...for me, I am going to have OUR time when we come home. I have a dog, who's world is about to be turned upside down and she needs a stable first few days. I think I will say no visitors the first day and then have limited times for the weeks thereafter.
FYI...my SIL pulled me aside the other day and said she wished she had limited her visitors!

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

When we came home from the hospital I had a few family members stop by. That wasn't bad but that weekend we had a lot of people over for the entire day and I will NOT be doing that again. That was just way to overwhelming! I'll have to play it by ear.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

My parents live 5 minutes away from us AND the hospital. DH's parents live about 30 minutes away. I'm going to talk to DH about telling everyone that our first day home from the hospital is OUR day and then go from there. We live in a 1 br apt, so there's not a whole lot of space.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

There was no way to arrange it. I was completely overwhelmed from the day he was born for at least the first month.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

Sounds like you have a plan.

We aren't making one really. I figure whoever wants to visit at the hospital visits. And whoever wants to come over to visit will do that too. We don't live OOS so it doesn't really matter to us.

My mother does want to take a week off to hang with us and the baby. My only thing is I want her week off to be different from DH's time off.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

I said absolutely no visitors the first day I was home. I have two dogs and needed them to get comfortable with DS before anyone came. It worked out well. After that, people came whenever they wanted.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

I don't want visitors! I know that is unrealistic and not even all true...Im going to play it by ear, but almost everyone is withing 15 minutes of us. FIL & SMIL live OOS, but im sure they will come whenever they want and stay in a hotel...I don't have much control over this. As far as the hospital goes, My DH will let everyone know that Im in labor, but ask them please not to come until the designated visiting hours...I dont want to see anyone 5 minutes after giving birth, and want time for the 3 of us to be just us.

When we get home, I plan to enact a call 1st policy since I will be BFing, and we will not have a big place...hoping DH will support me on this when it comes to his fam...especially since we will be living VERY close to SIL!

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

hmmm well i dont care who comes to the hospital...i know my whole family will show up.
as for the first few days home, i would prefer not a lot of vistors. we have a young dog 17 months, who is super protective so we need some time to adjust him. he doesnt like strangers in his home AT ALL so we need to get him comfy with baby before we bombard him with friends and family in his domain as well. my momlives upstairs so i know she will be around and im fine with my dad, IL's and siblings but as for friends and extended...i'd prefer maybe the following week. this is my first child and i need time for myself to adjust

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

I didn't mind the visitors. I did mind that my mil was at my house when I got home for the first time from the hospital. I know she means well and did help me out, but I wish Dh, Xavier and our dogs had a moment to ourselves. This time around I'm putting my foot down. I want to walk into my house seeing my dog. Then seeing my son who will be dropped off by my parents. Everything after that I could care less about.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

If you plan on BFing, it might be tough to have everyone around since there will be periods of time you will be camped out getting BFing in order. I had a bunch of visitors which was fine but there were times I didn't even really see anyone because DS was a hungry monster. He would cry if he wasn't nursing at times. My MIL was bored and my mom didn't even bother coming because she had too many family when I was born and wanted to give us space.

But after 4-6 weeks it was so much better and DS wasn't an eating and peeing blob. He was smiling after 4 weeks so the visitors were more entertained as well!

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

I think we will ask everyone to stay at bay day of my c-section.

After that we welcome anyone that wants to come whenever they want to come.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

It will be an open house here

We don't have anyone from out of town coming and this is my second.

With my first, we really didn't arrange anything. Everyone came by when they could. I really enjoyed having visitors!. Our friends and family were great with helping, bringing food, etc.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

My situation is difficult because I'm living OOS and this is my family's FIRST grandchild, neice, etc. So what we're doing is, baby will HOPEFULLY be born tomorrow (I'm going in to be induced). My mom & older sister are flying out in 2 weeks (staying for a week). Then my younger sister is coming out next month (for Easter). After that I'll be flying out to New York to see them again (plus my dad, BIL, friends, cousins, etc) in July or August. That's MY side of the family at least.

Dh's side i'm not sure about. I just hope people don't overwhelm me and spend too much time at my house. Especially that first week - I'm going to REALLY want alone time with her, since only a few days later my family will be staying with me.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

No house guests allowed here...


MIL is OOS and stays with her sister 30 min away

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

My mom will be taking off the first week from work (starting the day I go into labor) and will be staying with me (most likely, my dad is pretty sick right now so it all depends on how he is doing as to whether she is just here, or back and forth between the two). I live about an hour and a half away from them, and visiting hours are pretty limited, so she wants to make sure she gets as much Grandma time as possible (PS - this is her first grandchild).

I live in North, Central Suffolk, and all of my friends are in Nassau, so I'm going to have a pretty open door policy for anyone coming over. I'm sure the first weekend will be CRAZY. That's part of the beauty of Mom being here...she'll cook and clean and take care of the pets and all DH and I will have to do is take care of the baby.

Re: How are you arranging visitors?

I don't really expect a lot of visitors besides my parents and DH's parents. They will be welcome whenever b/c I know they will not be expecting me to please them. They will be helpful. Other family members who want to stop by wouldn't do it on their own, they'd come with our parents.

My only concern is how I'm going to handle my father's children. They are 5 and 7 and will still be in school.