Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

This is the predicament I am facing. We are pretty sure we want another. I am 37 right now. Problem is, we are pretty content with just Julia for now. Another issue is that my last two pregnancies were pretty traumatic: Liam had a fatal heart defect and with Julia I was still reeling from Liam's death. While they were physically great they were emotionally rough. What is troubling me is that I know I don't that many years to work with. Ideally, would have loved to have waited about 4 years. Anybody in the same boat?

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

Similar, I was 34 with my first.

We just plowed ahead since we knew we wanted more kids and it could be harder if we waited too long.

It's tough to kind of be boxed in on the timeline but my thought was, "what if it doesn't happen as quickly as we think it will?"

In the end, it took 9 months to get pregnant with DS so I was happy that we started earlier and the kids at just over 2 years apart.

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

Yes.. I know I should be trying to give John a sibling but Im sooo not ready yet..

ETA: and we cannot afford two kids in daycare now anyway.

Message edited 3/3/2011 11:45:55 AM.

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

Well for us, my body sucks. It takes forever for me to get pg. When i finally did, i lost it. We are still trying. Inside i know we wont be having anymore, ideally i wish it was different. But at almost 36 time ( for me) is almost up.so, if nothing by the end of the year i will get my tubes tied, it stinks, but im very lucky to have one wild and crazy young man.

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

I promised to reconsider at 36 to have another. I'm 35 now.

Honestly I just can't imagine making it work for another. I know they always say you'll find a way and I'm sure I would. But I don't want to.

Still I did promise so in about 5m I'll ask the hubby. Considering I didn't really talk to or ask him about AJ I have a feeling he won't be pushing for another.

ETA: example I love AJ being in Montesorri. I want her to continue through at least 3rd grade that takes a lot of money. If I had another I wouldn't be able to afford to keep AJ in montessori and my 2nd child wouldn't be able to get Montessori for the same years AJ would have because I couldn't afford both in that school. I figure I had one child and I'm so happy with her and I'm even more happy that with only one I can budget for her future without splitting it with another child.

Message edited 3/3/2011 11:57:23 AM.

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

I'm 37 and having another. I will say I was/am paranoid about my age and had a CVS. The specialist (who was wonderful) asked me why I was having it down and said to me "So a group of men sat around and thought of an age to tell women when they were "advanced" to have children? Do you know what they would say if they had to give that same number to men? 99"

This child will be 4 and 6 years younger than my other too, and that makes me a tiny bit sad, but since it's a different gender, I feel better.

I do think that she will graduate college (hopefully) when I'm 59. Perfect time for me to retire! LOL

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

I just turned 37 and have 2 dcs (3 yo and 1yo). We might want another and will decide this year. If we don't do it by the end of this year, I don't think we will try for another. I loved being single and carefree during my late 20s/early 30s, but I regret it when I think about having another child!

Re: Any 35+ moms know they should be trying again but just not ready yet....

I was in that same boat. I had DS #1 at age 35. I knew I wanted another.

I was just not ready right away. My DH was in danger of losing his job. I also hated my job and my boss was really horrible during my first pregnancy. I knew getting pregnant again would make work a nightmare.

I also didn't want 2 kids under 2. I got pregnant very easily the first time, and just hoped when the time was right, it would happen quickly again.

So, I tried again at age 37. It took 4 months to get pregnant with #2. My sons are 2.5 years apart and it is perfect for us. DH got a new job and was relocated so I am now able to be a SAHM. My 2nd pregnancy was much better since I got to leave that awful job first. So it all worked out and I am glad I waited.

You will know when the time is right for you!