Would you do this???

So at my company in general, and it seems like my department specifically, everyone is pregnant. I'm number 5 in my department within the past 9 months. So one of the girls who already had her baby and went out on maternity leave was due to come back on Monday next week. She tendered her resignation today.

So we're not too shocked, because she had apparently emptied her desk of all her photos and personal belongings prior to going on leave, but it still smacks of some ballls to me! No judging...would you go on leave just to get disability pay and use up paid vacation time with no intention of coming back, thus screwing over your coworkers when you quit with no notice 2 days before you were supposed to come back?

Re: Would you do this???

I wouldn't personally, but I hear this is something that does happen.

Re: Would you do this???

i always err on the side of non-judging...

perhaps she had child care lined up and someone fell ill/died suddenly.....

..maybe she found out her newborn has an illness and will require lots of care, etc

so many different scenarios, kwim?

did she empty her desk maybe because there was a "just in case I don't come back" factor? or maybe because they hired a temp?

Re: Would you do this???

No, b/c I can't, but everyone I know that is a SAHM used up their whole maternity and then decided not to come back. Most of them had no intentions of ever coming back.

Re: Would you do this???

I wouldn't/couldn't do that. I have been with this job for 9 1/2 years and wouldn't do that to my boss or my co-workers.

If during my maternity leave i realized I really did not want to go back to work I would talk to my boss about it to make sure an adequate replacement could be found for me and offer to come in until a replacement is found and train the new person.

Re: Would you do this???

I want to say I wouldn't, but at the same time, maybe leaving the baby was just too hard for her? I've never been in her shoes so I can't say I would for sure never do that etc. I think I would try to give at least two weeks notice, but who knows?

Re: Would you do this???

or post partum depression, too.........just thought of that.

Re: Would you do this???

I would do what was in the best interest of my family.

I have heard of a lot of people doing this.

I am not in this position so I cannot say for sure what I would do but I don't know that this is so "wrong". Also she may have changed her mind while on leave, never know.

Re: Would you do this???

Honestly... yes. Im a teacher and if I wasnt planning on going back to work after having my LO I would prob try to get paid for as long as I could. I dont think anyone does that sort of thing with the intention of screwing anyone over - I think its more about making the decision that is right for you and your family.

Again, idk what you do for a living but as a HS English teacher I know that i'm highly replaceable and so it wouldnt affect anyone if I left. JMO

Re: Would you do this???

If the company knows their rights they can actually fight paying the STD since she didn't fulfill her responsibility with coming back.

On another note. I went out on strict bedrest unexpectedly with DS when I was 33 weeks.

At that time I was in "talks" with TPTB to work from home PT when DS was born.

When DS was 6 weeks old, my boss called me and asked me my date of return. (I had a c-section, so by law I was actually allowed 8 weeks, but I didn't bother filing for STD).

Anyway, I went in for a "meeting" with my boss to discuss my options when coming back. At that meeting he told me working from home was not an option so at that time I told him I was not coming back. Cleaned out whatever remained of my belongings and never looked back.

With all of that being said, I would have to assume she had a good feeling she wouldn't be coming back. And it is not uncommon for people to use the system to their advantage in situations like this. I know people who quit their job to be a SAHM, lied on their unemployment paper work and got unemployment....99 weeks to be more specific!

While I won't say its right or wrong, its the way the cookie crumbles.

Re: Would you do this???

DH and I still haven't decided if I will go back after my leave. I get 10 weeks paid and then I can use the 2 weeks vacation I plan to save as well after that. The I have the option of 3 months unpaid to take after that. I'm really hoping they will let me come back 3 days a week but if they don't I'm not 100% sure I will stay. But I think I would go back and give them time to find someone to replace me, if they're nice

Re: Would you do this???

I did this, although I gave the standard 2 weeks notice before my maternity leave was over. I did not intend to return and had taken all personal belongings (would have done that anyway bc someone else would be using my desk while I was gone). I had paid into my disability for two years and was absolutely going to get all that money that I was entitled to! When I called to resign, both my manager and HR were happy for me although disappointed I was leaving. They both thanked me for giving them the 2 weeks notice. I dont think either of them thought I had "some balls."
I dont really care if anyone finds it wrong since my family supported it as did my coworkers and manager with whom I am still in touch 2 years later.

Message edited 2/3/2011 7:42:17 PM.

Re: Would you do this???

I've been on maternity leave since August.

I used up my maternity leave benefits (which is STD that I pay into each paycheck), and my vacation time. I've been on unpaid leave now since the end of November.

I had no intention of going back to work, but wanted to leave the door open in case I decided to. I did not take any of my personal belongings down from my desk when I left.

I was due to return to work next Monday.

I called my boss 2 weeks ago and resigned.

Even if I DID have the intention of going back, I'm pretty sure I still would have resigned. I had SEVERE post partum depression starting when DS was 3 weeks old. He is now 5.5 months old and I am finally able to take care of him. I feel like I missed out on the first 5 months of his life which is why I probably would have ended up resigning.

I don't judge... many women do this and when it comes time to return to work, realize they just cannot. That happened to me after DD was born and I went back. DH told me I could quit, but to try and see if they would allow me to work PT (3 days/week). They did allow me, but I was still miserable. I knew we were going to go back to the RE to try to get pregnant again, so I stuck it out until I went out again on leave.

Re: Would you do this???

Absolutely yes. If that's what is best for me and family, I would have no problem resigning after mat leave.

My job also fires people for breathing wrong...so I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty.

Re: Would you do this???

I wouldn't, because I don't believe in burning bridges, but it happens all the time.

Re: Would you do this???

this is sooo common.
and the reason why i think a lot of people do it is because if they resign prior to leaving for maternity, then they don't get any pay checks. usually they want or need the maternity leave pay so they act like they are coming back and then resign on or around their date to return.

i've seen it so many times. to be honest, it's never bothered me at all. to each their own. it's always a possibility when someone goes out on maternity. I almost treat it like if they just resigned regularly.

I don't see it so much as screwing up the coworkers, i see it more as doing what's best for them. I mean truth is, if someone found a better position and HAD to leave asap with only a 2 day notice... it's like the same thing to me.

it's honestly never bothered me when coworkers have done this.

and to be perfectly honest, this could have been possibly what i would have had to do had I not been laid off and not been able to find someone to watch my newborn.

i also feel that some girls don't do this intentionally. sometimes they really have every intention to return to work and the reality of the situation is just not what they imagined and they can't return.

i wouldn't judge.

Re: Would you do this???

This happens alllllllllllll the time.

Everyone has their reasons I suppose....I wouldn't judge it at all. It's probably more common than you would think.

Re: Would you do this???

No. I would not and could not do that. Personally, I think it makes you look very bad. Right now she may not want to or need to go back to work but who knows what the future holds? Now she lost the opportunity to ask for her job back or to have a good reference. Pretty stupid if you ask me.

My former boss told me that this is why my old law firm did not pay maternity leave. They wanted to ensure that you came back. They would re-pay you the salary you lost on maternity leave 6 months after you returned over a period of time.

Re: Would you do this???

Re: Would you do this???

i would and I might. Sorry but in reality...i know that my company doesn't have my best interests at heart. I'm just another # to them. I am saving my vacation time so that i can have 2 weeks paid when i go on maternity leave...and I most likely won't be going back. now...if I tell them that now...they prob won't pay me that vacation time...and i can't afford to lose out on something i'm entitled too.

Re: Would you do this???

It depends on a lot of things but I don't know if my company would allow it so I haven'tgiven it much thought

Re: Would you do this???

I'm not pregnant but I would HAVE to go back at my job.

They don't pay me anything beyond 4 weeks, so i'd have to file for STD...but the way they do screw you is they withhold your commissions (which are EARNED already because you aren't due them until 45 days after the quarter ends) until you come back. So basically I'd have to come back, collect my money thats OWED to me, and then resign.

Re: Would you do this???

Re: Would you do this???

It would depend on how I felt about my job and coworkers...at my last job which I hated, I would do that in a heartbeat!

Don't take it personally, maybe she wasn't sure what she would do, but now can not bring herself to leave her baby.

Re: Would you do this???

I wouldn't, but I'm in a small enough field where it could potentially ruin future career opportunities for me.