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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Is this normally done?
I have a friend getting married in April, the save the dates went out a few months ago
the invites for the shower and bachelorette party have just been received also
one of my other friends got invited to the shower and bachelorette party, but didn't get a save the date for the wedding.
she's not super close to the bride, so was wondering if she is somehow not invited to the wedding - but we were confused as to why she would be invited to the shower and b party?
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Posted 1/18/11 8:46 PM  |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Personally I think it's tacky, but that's just my opinion. I would never ask someone to the bridal shower and the bachelorette party and not the wedding.
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| Posted 1/18/11 8:48 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Maybe the save the date was lost in the mail or they only ordered a select few for some key people to save money?
If she isn't invited to the wedding, that is SUPER tacky - JMO.
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| Posted 1/18/11 8:52 PM |
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mommybear
LIF Infant
Member since 1/11 296 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
shower = gift
bachelorette = shell out $$$ for the bride to be to have a great time.
Not invited to wedding = SUPER TACKY!
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| Posted 1/18/11 8:56 PM |
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mrsyoungmommy
can't wait to meet Sophia!
Member since 6/10 1441 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
I had a ton of girls come out for my bachelorette party, but we went to the Nautical Mile and it was mainly just a fun night out.
I would never invite someone to a shower, if they weren't invited to the wedding. That, IMO, is rude and greedy.
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| Posted 1/18/11 8:57 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Maybe she only sent the STDs to the people that she is closest to, but your friend will still be getting a wedding invitation? I think it is terribly tacky if she is only invited to the shower and bachelorette. To me, the bachelorette is for your closest girlfriends, anyhow.
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| Posted 1/18/11 8:59 PM |
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liadorbs
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1221 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Just because they didn't get a save-the-date doesn't necessarily mean that they're not invited to the wedding.
But yes, it's super rude to invite someone to a shower and bachelorette and not the actual wedding.
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| Posted 1/18/11 8:59 PM |
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have2hide
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 555 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
I can"t imagine shes not invited to the wedding considering to the other invites... the save the date was prob either lost in the mail, they didn't mail to everyone (maybe just the closest people?) or maybe she was added to the list after the save the dates went out?
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:01 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Posted by queensgal
Maybe the save the date was lost in the mail or they only ordered a select few for some key people to save money?
If she isn't invited to the wedding, that is SUPER tacky - JMO.
ITA!
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:08 PM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
I did this to someone when I got married, it was a total accident. She was a family member and I just toally forgot her name on the list Luckily she said something to my mom.
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:10 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
I just assume she didn't get an STD, but will be getting a wedding invite.
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:22 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
I hope the STD got lost in the mail.
But if she's invited to the shower & bachelorette and NOT the wedding -- UTTER TACKINESS!
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:27 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
maybe the bride didnt decide that she was going to invite her to the wedding until she finished with the STDs and was up to shower invites?
if shes not invited to the wedding, that is waaaay tacky!!!!
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:29 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Here's the ONLY thing that I can think of that would make sense: You said that she isn't super close to the bride. Maybe she only sent the STDs to very close friends and family, and now that she is more aware of budget/space/whatever, she knows that she is going to be inviting this person to the wedding now, whereas maybe she didn't before?
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:46 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
I only sent out STDs to out of state guests. I figured it's just a courtesy and they could benefit from the advance notice.
I wouldn't assume she is not invited to the wedding based on the STDs. I would wait for the wedding invite.
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| Posted 1/18/11 9:51 PM |
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
When my SIL's brother got married, I didn't receive a save the date but did get an invite for the wedding. In my case I don't think they had the correct address because they mailed the wedding invite to the wrong address.
I don't think it necessarily means she isn't invited.
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| Posted 1/18/11 10:28 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Posted by queensgal
Maybe the save the date was lost in the mail or they only ordered a select few for some key people to save money?
That's what I was thinking - hopefully that's the case, because to not invite her to the actual wedding after all that would be pretty bad 
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| Posted 1/18/11 11:22 PM |
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MrsG41307
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 936 total posts
Name:
Dyanne
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Really hope that the std card was lost in the mail.
Because if it was done on purpose thats just horrible...and wrong in so many ways.
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| Posted 1/18/11 11:37 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Save the date cards do not need to be sent to everyone on the guest list or even anyone on the guest list. They are just a courtesy/announcement for the couple to let friends and family they are absolutely positively inviting to the wedding to mark their calendars and make travel arrangements.
It is perfectly fine to not send an STD to someone and still invite them to the wedding. Since this woman has made the guest list for both the shower and the b-party, there is no reason to think she won't be invited to the wedding unless the wedding invitations were mailed already.
It is not ok to send an STD, shower or b-party invite to someone and then not invite them to the wedding.
Message edited 1/18/2011 11:51:50 PM.
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| Posted 1/18/11 11:50 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Posted by mommybear
shower = gift
bachelorette = shell out $$$ for the bride to be to have a great time.
Not invited to wedding = SUPER TACKY!
Totally agree. But just because she didn't get a STD doesn't necessarily mean she wont be invited to the wedding. Trying to give the bride the benefit of the doubt....
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| Posted 1/18/11 11:55 PM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Posted by mommybear
shower = gift
bachelorette = shell out $$$ for the bride to be to have a great time.
Not invited to wedding = SUPER TACKY!
Totally agree. VERY TACKY!
I mean what do you tell the BTB at the end of the bachelorette party? "Hope you have a good time at your wedding... (considering I won't be a part of it)". 
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| Posted 1/19/11 7:58 AM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Why dont you just ask her?
If you really aren't invited to the wedding- that is beyond horrible.
I really doubt it though. Is she having a large wedding or is it small?
Message edited 1/19/2011 8:34:31 AM.
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| Posted 1/19/11 8:33 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
bparty i have no problem with... i had 51 people at mine and not everyone was invited to the wedding...
but the shower is for close friends and family...
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| Posted 1/19/11 9:20 AM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Maybe they didn't send her a STD because they weren't sure if they'd have room for her at the wedding, but now they found out they have room and will be sending an invite. Most people don't send out STDs to everyone on their guest list.
If I'm wrong and she's invited to the shower.bach. party but not the wedding that's all sorts effed up.
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| Posted 1/19/11 9:27 AM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: invite to shower and bachelorette, but not wedding?
Posted by IrishLass
Personally I think it's tacky, but that's just my opinion. I would never ask someone to the bridal shower and the bachelorette party and not the wedding.
ITA....it could have been an oversight with the save the date thing.
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| Posted 1/19/11 10:53 AM |
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