As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

1) Pictures

2) Feeding

I read all the posts on here and I feel like I don't take enough pictures, don't organize them properly and I have never had a professional photo shoot besides going to Sears.

As for feeding - I am a FT working mom and I pack my DS bag every night for "school" (daycare). I usually give him a Stage 3 jar of food or even a Gerber or Beech Nut microwavable mac n cheese (gasp!) or a chicken and stars, etc. for Lunch. He also gets his 2 bottles, a sippy with water and snacks (yogurt, applesauce, puffs, goldfish, cheese, fruit chunks etc).

Before school for breakfast he usually has his bottle and then some mini pancakes or fruit or a yogurt.

Dinner he usually has what we are having. Typically, chicken, hamburgers, pasta, etc and then I will give him peas, carrots, etc.

But I do not feel like I am creative AT ALL in what I am giving him for daycare or even at home...I read on here all these cool things like turkey burger, asparagus, eggplant..

Truth is I am barely keeping my head above water. Even a year later I am still learning to balance it all. So for me to "get creative" - I am having a really hard time with that.

I am not sure even what the point of this post is...but I wanted to vent. How do you all do it? Especially the working moms....

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

IMO, something's got to give when you're a FTWM. When I'm home, I'd rather spend time w/ DS then be pureeing fruit.

I don't do well with feeding either--he won't even sit in his highchair anymore! He'll eat what we are having, but usually takes a bite and then runs away.

Anyway, I'd do whatever it takes to stay sane.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I am a working mom, and 3/4 of the things that others feed their kids, mine won't eat-i've tried. I give him leftovers from the night before, and if he doesn't want that, there's always peanut butter and jelly at our mom's houses.

For dinner, if he doesn't like what we're eating, he can eat cereal.

Don't feel bad! You are doing just fine!!

As for the pictures...I haven't printed out any pictures since my kid was born..they are all still on snapfish.

Message edited 8/10/2010 3:58:09 PM.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

jen - we do exactly the same thing!!!!!

you've seen the size of my kitchen and NO counterspace and KNOW i can't cook gourmet meals in there! it's hard enough to even do any prep work...because of the ZERO counterspace.

i think with the way things are right now with Em's eating....i'm glad that i don't do all of that stuff. to think that i would've cooked for an hour for her to spit out what i made and not eat any of it would mentally destroy me (it was hard enough with her purees when she'd do it).

i wfh today, as you know, so i took the time to heat up 2 new things from happy bellies - these veggie patty things - she spit every bite of them out....and barely ate any of the chicken nuggets i made too (her normal fave). now she's chugging down fruit like she's starving....

you do what works for YOU.....and know that Tommy is a happy kid and that is a DIRECT result of what you do for him!!!!!!!!!!!!

with regards to the photos - dave makes fun of me how he 'experiences' things with Em and i just take pics of them....on some level he's right - so i'm trying to put the camera down more...

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I don't see why you think you are failing at anything.

Some take pro pics. Some don't

Some are organized to the T and some don't feel like doing a photobook or scrapbook and everything is ultra organized.

My mom has pics of us in a box. I don't see anything wrong with this. We open the box and it's still memories. Barb is the only who took pics of DS except me.

DS has feeding issues. You feed your kids what they are willing to eat. Period!!!!!! If it's meat and veggies but you did not cook it youself. Well, it's still better than lollipops all day. Right?

Message edited 8/10/2010 4:02:02 PM.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I grew up with the basics as far as food goes (when I was a baby) and my mom did not go crazy with photoshoots/organizing pics either and I had the BEST childhood and memories! You are a great mom and a hard worker..don't be down on yourself..you are doing a great job. I have to be honest,I a sahm and have lots of time to cook and take pics of my son. I don't know if I'd have the time to do all of it if I was working ft You also sound like you are doing a great job with feeding!

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

Jen first of all, you aren't failing as a parent.

Pictures for me area easy. My camera is always accessible and I take pics whenever I can. I upload once a week and sort into folders by month on my computer. I also post on a Shutterfly share site mostly because a lot of my family is out of state.

As for food, I do what I do for us. I plan ahead and do more bulk cooking on the weekends and try to keep things on hand. I make things like turkey meatballs, steam veggies, pasta and etc on the weekend and separate into smaller containers for DS to have for the week.

For breakfast Liam will have pancakes (which I make a bunch on the weekend and freeze - I don't have to do this every weekend though), yogurt, fruit or scrambled eggs with cheese.

For lunch he will have turkey/chicken, applesauce (or some other fruit), babybell cheese, grilled cheese or things like that.

For dinner, he will have what I already mentioned that I pre-make. Also, I keep Dr. Praegers frozen spinach bites and etc. on hand for dinners. Liam will eat turkey burgers if we are and whatever we are eating.

Hang in there! 1

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

Do not feel like you are failing at those things. . .

I didn't know how many people made their own food until LIF came along As FTWM, I do not have the time to do this, nor do I want to spend my weekends making it. This DOES NOT mean you are failing him in this department. . .AT ALL.

Pictures- I'm a picture freak however, they are all sitting in my iphoto on the computer. . .doing nothing but taking up space on my hard drive.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

Jen - you are doing a GREAT job!!!

I'm bad about pictures too.... poor baby #2 will probably be lucky to have any pictures of him taken...

I work(ed) PT and even then also had a hard time balancing and managing my day/evening when before kids I was super organzied and had no issues with time management.

Like now, I can't believe it's already 4:00, I feel like I've gotten NOTHING done today and DD has been at daycare all day! I realized an hour ago I forgot to take something out to defrost for dinner. Thankfully, there are leftovers for DD that my MIL brought over yesterday.

I'm not very creative either her meals.

On her 2 daycare days, her day looks like this

Yogurt smoothie sippy when she wakes up (since she refuses milk)

breakfast at daycare I send a fruit and dry cheerios.

Lunch is usually turkey and cheese

Her afternoon snack is a yogurt smoothie and fruit (if I have another fruite at home to send in, otherwise she will get goldfish)

dinner is usually chicken, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, mac and cheese, always a veggie. Sometimes pasta, but I ALWAYS make sure though she is getting a protein at dinner because I find she doesn't wake up as hungry in the morning if she had say only a pasta for dinner.

Definately NOTHING over the top or exciting.

Days at home, is usually the same except for breakfast I'll either make her an egg, or she'll have waffles, pancakes or french toast (all of the frozen variety) and sometimes a fruit if she is still hungry.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I must be failing too b/c DS never got prof pics either (unless you count sears) - but you know what - my mom failed too b/c she never got pics of me and I think she did okay.

As far as the food - I think that the aspeargus/eggplant people are the minority. Yes, you can try new things but they are very acquired tastes especially for a new eater.

I think kids really react to your emotions - I know this is true w/ my DS and food. The other day I gave him red pepper strips and he wasn't going to try them at all. My mom and I ooo'ed an ahh'ed at how good they were and now he eats them.

I also think its in the presentation - if you get a pretty plate it looks better then just slopped on the plate. I try to create a pretty plate for ds.

The other day for lunch he had rolled bologan with the peppers. I could have just thrown the bologna on the plate and piled on the peppers - I made a little sun alternating b/w bologna and peppers. I put some grapes in the middle.

Maybe make a goal of trying 1 new food a week/month.

I also read that someone had a 3 color rule - they had to eat 3 colors at each meal to make sure they were getting all the nutrients. (think it was LIF)

At this age, you don't know what your DS will eat until you try.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

Okay lets not hijack this thread. A mom is in need let's give her what she needs.
I think so long as you are doing the best you can it's all you CAN do. Enjoy him. It goes too fast. It sounds like he is a happy boy and he doesn't look starved or obese.
As for photo's. I did Kiddie Kandids for Teddy. For Andrew I did my own. I organize my pictures on disc's so I never loose them. But my camera isn't always attached to my neck.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I guess you've never been to my house for dinner

Especially since my divorce, I don't cook much anymore. It's hard to cook for just myself and DD doesn't eat many things.

As for pictures...I have a camera in my purse at all times...and I never take pictures. When I actually remember to take them, I do upload them and keep them sorted on my computer, but I never remember to print them. Every few months I go through and print what is print-worthy and put them in an album or box.

You are doing fine

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I feel like it cycles...sometimes I'm really good w/them, other times I'm not...but we're human. Our DC will not know if we take 500 pics of them one week and none for the next few weeks. I don't think the prof pics matter unless YOU want them to matter...KWIM? My DD's food isn't perfect either, but I try to add more veggies etc (and she prob only gets a variety because we eat all kinds of food).

Can your DH help out with these things?

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

If you're failing a year later I'm already failing at 3 months

Don't be soo hard on yourself. I'm sure you're a great mother..and as pp have said..when you're a FTWM something's gotta give.

For me I rather have the time with DS, those are the memories your DC will have with him forever...more than just pics and food.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I don't even cook for dh and myself what the hell am I going to do when dd can eat food? I'm stuck.

But please don't think you're failing.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

This site is the devil sometimes. So hard not to compare yourself...

but I know you and what an awesome person you are...and you LOVE your Tommy, that's all that matters

But I feel ya...I feel guilty every damn day about the food thing. DH & I could eat the same damn things every day, and I feel bad that Riley doesn't get enough variety. I try...but man, some people just don't have that skill. And it's okay!! You are doing AWESOME!

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

thank you everybody it's good to know I'm not the only one....it's hard to not compare sometimes you know what I mean....but I guess the most important thing is that my DS is happy, healthy and loved

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I was raised on fast food, shake and bake chicken, canned vegetables, you get the drift. I'm perfectly healthy.

I think we are a little overly crazy with the whole healthy organic thing. I feed DD healthy foods, made my own baby food and even grow an organic garden. DD gets mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and grilled chicken regularly, as well. For me, it is about moderation and doing what is right for my family.

I have a bucket of photos from when I was a kid that I have started to organize as an adult. No baby book or anything like that. I'm not terribly scarred by it.

Personally I decided to invest in a good camera and do my own photoshoots. I print them and put in books twice a year usually.

I think that in general, if you overly focus on any one area in life others are going to fall short. Like those with the perfect house and all organic meals may not do as many activities with their kids as I do. They may neglect their marriage. Maybe they are perfect in every way but I find that hard to believe. Balance your life the way it works for you. The two most important things you can do for your kids is love them and be happy.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I hear you loud and clear --- I make DS' lunch the night before. Either I make extra food with dinner or i make it at 10pm.

If we're having takeout, I'll just make DS "easy lunch" - wheat crackers with a cucumber slice and cheese or cream cheese between them, like a cracker sandwich. If I don't feel his meal is "balanced" enough, I'll send him to the sitter with an earth's best veggie jar.

turkey burgers are really easy- if i'm not making them fresh for us for dinner, I keep a sleeve of Kirkland all white meat organic turkey burgers (frozen) from costco in freezer. I just throw one on the forman grill and it's done in 6 minutes. I cut it in half, and voila, 2 meals.

If i have fresh ground turkey/chicken/beef, I throw it in the food processor attachment on my blender with any random veggies I have on hand. Pat it into a burger and throw it on the forman for 4 minutes.

All the blender pieces and forman grill pieces go in the dishwasher, so its a really easy cleanup. All in all it takes 15 minutes.

There are DEFINITELY some days when I'm just wiped. Especially Mondays. Those are the days I make "Logan Pizza". Logan pizza consists of a whole wheat wrap with earth's best chicken tomato pastina spread on it, topped with shredded mozzerella and baked on a cookie sheet for a few minutes. I know he's getting the nutrients of jar food, but the texture of big man food.
(this also works as a quesadilla - just add a very mild salsa and cheddar on the wrap)

It is NOT EASY, but i don't want my son to be fussy like my husband. He grew up on hot dogs, frozen pizza, frozen hamburgers, and takeout ---- to this day, those are his favorite foods.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

well I am a SAHM and my pictures are in my comp, never printed out no albums, nada!

as for food, my DS is very picky so I don't have any real advice either. Don't beat yourself up

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

Mommy guilt it happens to the best of us for one reason or another. I was telling DH how I feel bad when I put dd in the bouncy so I can do dishes, or eat lunch. He just at me.

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

Those things are NOTHING to beat yourself up about. As for pictures, come on, I am sure I am not the only one here who has less than 20 pics of myself as a kid and it's no big deal. The professional shoots are nothing but a luxory and can be done at any time.

The feeding, not a big deal! You are doing so much for your son and being a mom is tough, and a working mom at that.

To make things easier, I try to make things that freeze well or make good leftovers so I only have to do the work 3-4 times a week. I also buy meat from the butcher and have it freezer wrapped so I have it in the house. There are kids who refuse to eat anything except mac and cheese and they turn out perfectly fine. You are ot harming your son in any way and it saddens me that you use the term "failing". You're doing a great job

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

I'm a SAHM mom and there are days that I'm sooo exhausted that she eats the fastest thing I can make out of a box...so believe me if you're failing, I'm just a disaster... You are not failing...My parents never had professional pictures of me taken except my school pics, and I don't hate them for it seriously you're DS isn't going to look back at you and say "you know mom, you really didn't shell out the cash for the pictures when I was young, I hate you for that." Belive me you are NOT a failure!!!

Re: As a parent - I feel like I am failing at 2 things...

i can also guarantee you jen that tommy won't think twice about ANYTHING you are doing!!!!

i think it's hard to realize when we're on here - but when you go 'out into the normal world'....and talk about things like we do here to 'normal people' (just saying NOT message board people - not calling anyone abnormal)....they look at you like crazy....

pro pics???
cake smashes???
making your own baby food???
rear facing after 1 year???

the above list is all the stuff that 'outsiders' have commented to me about.....i can add more - but always remember.....all Tommy will remember is the WONDERFUL times he had with mommy when he was a child....and seeing as how happy he is with you & Tom....there's no questioning it!