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Need advice / support - DH and I are on different pages re: discipline
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
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Re: Need advice / support - DH and I are on different pages re: discipline
I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here, but I think maybe you both need to set aside the spanking for a while.
Don't get me wrong...I am not totally opposed to spanking and I have spanked my younger DD (well, hit her pretty hard on her hand several times) when she ran into a parking lot and almost got hit by a car. I have also been spanked as a child and suffered no ill effects. Anyway...
It seems like the both of you are pretty uncomfortable using this form of discipline. He's unwilling to do it; you don't want it to escalate and don't like how you feel afterward, etc.
Perhaps if you both came up with different techniques TOGETHER, you could agree on something that you are both comfortable with and is equally as effective...if not moreso.
He is totally being unfair to you...
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Posted 7/12/10 8:58 PM  |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Need advice / support - DH and I are on different pages re: discipline
Posted by Eireann
I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here, but I think maybe you both need to set aside the spanking for a while.
Don't get me wrong...I am not totally opposed to spanking and I have spanked my younger DD (well, hit her pretty hard on her hand several times) when she ran into a parking lot and almost got hit by a car. I have also been spanked as a child and suffered no ill effects. Anyway...
It seems like the both of you are pretty uncomfortable using this form of discipline. He's unwilling to do it; you don't want it to escalate and don't like how you feel afterward, etc.
Perhaps if you both came up with different techniques TOGETHER, you could agree on something that you are both comfortable with and is equally as effective...if not moreso.
He is totally being unfair to you...
you are definitely not overstepping. I appreciate the thoughts and I very much agree.
Her attitude and demeanor have gotten progressively worse (she yells, barks orders, screams when she does not get her way - just overall brattiness)
I am sure it is partially her age, partially her needing attention due to KJ being around and partially to do with how we have handled her outbursts to date. Something has to give, I am going to try a few things - the next 30 days are boot camp, this behavior HAS to stop
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| Posted 7/12/10 9:01 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: Need advice / support - DH and I are on different pages re: discipline
Posted by pinkandblue
exactly, that is what I told him
the bottom line is he needs to be willing to listen to her scream and yell when she is in time out...I can listen to her yell for hours, I have NO problem with that, he cannot handle it
Won't she scream and cry if she is spanked, or punished in anyway for that matter?!?! Its punishment.....she isn't suppose to like it! If he was being punished with a tazer (sp?) Gun would he scream out or sit quietly? 
You don't need me to tell you the one disciplining for the action should be the one to carry through with punishment. He will have no authority with her if he can't carry out a punishment (whatever it may be). And empty threats are a big no-no. You know all of this, its just a matter of mking DH see it this way.
I always say....whoever says the 2's are terrible never had a 3 year old.
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| Posted 7/12/10 9:32 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
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Janice
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Re: Need advice / support - DH and I are on different pages re: discipline
wow, just read what Erin posted, totally makes sense.
Is there a time of day that Miki acts out more? I know this sounds funny, but I totally write things down. I don't remember things day to day at all. I have no idea how many times I feed the baby, when she fell asleep unless I write it down.
Maybe if she is acting out, just jot down the time and what set her off...maybe there is a pattern?
She just seems so smart and with it. I don't think she wants to spend her days acting out as much as you don't want her to, you know?
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| Posted 7/12/10 9:57 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Need advice / support - DH and I are on different pages re: discipline
Posted by Janice
She just seems so smart and with it. I don't think she wants to spend her days acting out as much as you don't want her to, you know?
that is what I tell her "look how much fun we can have when you do not act out" , etc
I make sure to spend alot of time with her and she get special time (we usually do crafts together and read) as long as she acts appropriately
she totally "gets" what I expect from her, she just has no respect for my authority and tests me every step of the way
I think the way I have handled her thus far is a big contributing factor to her attitude.
As far as the time she acts out, she is great for everyone else, the sitter, my IL's, my mom, even DH when I am not around but as soon as I show up, the drama ensues
I PRAY KJ will not put me through all this drama (boy moms, give me some hope   )
Thanks all
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| Posted 7/12/10 10:02 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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