Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

deal with the tantrums?

Seriously, it's like a monster has invaded my otherwise happy and laid back kid.

Anything and nothing sets her off these days.

I know part of it is frustration of not being able to fully communicate yet. But by g-d some of the tantrums are utterly ridiculous.

Example - She threw an almost 30 minute tantrum the other day because she wanted me to put my shoe on (she's obsessed with DH and I having our shoes on... go figure) and I didn't put it on quick enough for her (I'm 6.5 months pregnant and can barely bend over, so I'm a little slow). She flipped, and I mean FLIPPED... threw herself down on the floor, did the floppy fish and screamed until she was blue in the face. This went on for almost a half hour. By the time DH left for work that day, BOTH DD and I were in tears because she had been throwing one tantrum after another for an hour and it was only 8:30 AM!

For the most part, I ignore it... but lately this is an all day occurance. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because she's a ticking time bomb lately.

I know she's also teething, but is it also the age? Could her terrible 2's be starting this early? One minute she's playing so nicely and the next she is throwing her toys and throwing herself down in a fit.

L-rd help me when DC #2 arrives in 2 months.

How do you handle an 11 hour day with a toddler like this??? I need some tips before I'm put into the looney bin!

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I wish I had some tips; DS got to that stage around 18 months and here he is at 21 months a *little* bit better but it's still good days and "bad" days. Most days are a little of both I've stopped trying to figure him out

My nerves are SHOT lately and I'm losing patience with it A half hour of screaming over NOTHING, NOTHING!!!! I wish every high school kid in the world could witness this live and in person, I have a feeling teen pregnancy rates would plummet.

There's gotta be a support group for us out there, somewhere

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

When Mads gets all Exorcist on me, I calmly scoop her up and put her in her room until she calms down. I did the same to her when she was in the crib.

Eliza is just starting to show the "witchiness" so we'll start doing the same thing soon enough I'm sure.

Good luck- it's no fun, I know.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I told you Chels and Samantha were separated at birth...Chels has GREAT days and AWFUL days, and I fully believe that it's the terrible twos starting early combined with teething..When Chels is teething anything sets her off and her tantrum are long and her attention will not be diverted to something else...We are ignoring them most of the time..although DH feels bad when she starts to cry so goes ther and coddles her and I tell him he's just reinforcing her behavior!!!

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Posted by colette

: I wish every high school kid in the world could witness this live and in person, I have a feeling teen pregnancy rates would plummet.

There's gotta be a support group for us out there, somewhere

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Liam is also starting the tantrum phase. When we tell him no, or remove him from somewhere he isn't suppose to be, or leave a park or something, he throw a crying fit. Luckily its not often and only lasts about 1-5 minutes.

We generally ignore it. Its not easy though.

Message edited 6/14/2010 11:54:53 AM.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Thanks everyone...

I know there is no "answer" but man... I wish we could skip this phase.

She just spent 5 days with my ILs while DH and I were away and my ILs of course said she was a complete angel.... I'm certain they were but if that's the case, I told DH she's going to live with them until this phase passes and we can go visit

I'm actually the one these days to give in to her and let her have what she wants, only because my paitience is thin. She's lucky I'm pregnant otherwise she would NOT get away with half of what she does.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

You have to ignore the behavior as much as possible....I walk away until my daughter calms down. I don't try to talk or carry her or anything because I get beat up in the process.

She (my DD) will eventually calm down when she realizes the tantrums get her NOWHERE fast...it's a mix of wanting attention and frustration. Sometimes its attention and sometimes it's frustration.

Another thing that helps is giving her "jobs" and chores to do around the house. She loves to dust and dry dishes, take the laundry out of the dryer, etc...anything that she can do that makes her feel "big" helps tame the tantrums.

I have a 10 month old daughter and my DD gets very jealous sometimes...keeping her busy and letting her help out with the baby helps, too!

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

It hasn't gotten really bad yet though I am sure it will soon. I just let her do it.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Shaylie has her good days and bad. One minute she'll give me a toy and if I don't do what she wants, she smacks it out of my hand. When I reprimand her and tell her to play nice, all hell breaks loose. I'll let her throw her fit and pray nap time or bed time is soon.

DH and I have nicknamed her "The Tyrant"

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Message edited 6/14/2010 5:40:58 PM.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

please let me know what I can do....please!

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Yep.

I just walk away and ignore her. I notice some days are every five minutes with the tantrums and then she will go a day or two with nothing.

She actually lays herself on the floor and then cries cause she is afraid of getting hurt.

I noticed that if I teach her the word for what she wants so she can ask for it, she is less likely to freak.

I taught her "Help" and that has helped BIG time when like she cant reach something or cant turn on a toy.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I can't say I have it that bad but it is much worse for me when I am home all day with them (I have a 2 1/2 yr old & 16mo old). If they are having a bad day I take them somewhere...the park usually or a drive in the car...a playdate.

If I am home and losing my mind from bad/crazy/tantrum behavior I put DD (the 16mo old) in her crib and just let her cry until I can compose myself.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

my little one can't communicate at ALL. she's got the tantrums pretty badly lately...but i've also noticed it's mostly at night, maybe being overtired plays a role in it? i haven't let her go all out because i've noticed this isn't like letting her CIO at night in her crib...with tantrums she literally WILL sit there and cry HARD for a good five minutes.

i have noticed one thing though - if i let her have a good cry for 30 seconds or so then pick her up or give her a hug, she'll quiet down, relax and then compose herself. lately i'm doing that more than letting her tantrum it out because i have yet to see her stop crying on her own. the girl just goes on and on and on!

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Ethan just slammed his head on our hard wood floors tonight FOR NO REASON. I don't know where he gets this stuff from, but the tantrums are getting nuts.

When I told his ped. about his behavior @ his 15 month visit, she noted "terrible two's start early" in his chart.


ETA: I am scared to death of what's going to happen when we bring DD home in September.

Message edited 6/14/2010 11:47:11 PM.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I wish i had the answer for you....we started the tantrum phase early at just about a year she started.

What's worked the best so far is to just ignore her when she throws the wailing throwing herself around tantrum....

If the throws the tantrum where she's wailing throwing herself around and trying to get one of us to pick her up we put her in time out(which is in the PNP for now with no toys)

It's a phase....they all go through it,,,you just hope they go through it quickly...For my older DD the tantrum phase lasted only about 6-8 months then we went onto the "drama" phase....i'm still not sure which one is worse.

Good Luck...it will pass.

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

DS is 30 months, and he has been having tantrums since about 13-14 months. Unfortunately, I have to say they have gotten progressively more intense, even with the addition of speech. The good news is that I notice the worst of them come and go in spurts. It does seem as if roughly every 6 months, he goes through a difficult period and tantrums a lot. When it's over, he has often made some developmental leap, so that's probably what's going on each time.

At around 16 months, distraction and humor often still worked to get him out of a tantrum. So I think your best bet is avoiding these altogether as soon as you see signs of one starting. Lack of sleep and poor eating always makes it worse for us as well, but good luck getting a toddler to eat or sleep when they don't want to do so, I know.

Ignoring may work, a lot of people recommend this. Completely ignoring DS and walking away from him drives him ballistic though, and I've found it makes the whole thing worse. What works better for me is sitting near (but not too near) and doing something else, look at a magazine, etc., but make eye contact with him from time to time and say something to him quietly (in our case, he has words, so I remind him to use them to tell me why he's upset).

Good luck--I wish I could say this will pass quickly, though I do think the worst of the tantrums do come in batches, then you have a relatively quiet time (some tantrums but not as many).

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

DS really only throws tantrums when we say "no," so I explain to him why I said no (not sure if he understands but I suspect he does) and if he continues to cry I walk away and ignore him. That's the only thing that works. It is hard, especially since his crying sometimes sets DD off, but he is a total *faker* - as soon as something else catches his attention the crying stops. So there is no point in giving in to him or doing anything differently, it will just be something else the next time that sets him off

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I will tell you its a phase

I went thru it with my now 3 yr old and now my 15 month old is starting

It helps to know it goes away when they start being able to verbalize more--at least thats when I noticed a difference

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

This has been the longest phase ever for me.

We have good days, and then we have really bad days. The littlest thing can set him off (me walking past him the wrong way)

It's hard and I really have no answer. What works one day with my son doesn't work the next.