To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Dh and I have been talking, and he'd really like to go for a 3rd child. I am really torn. Part of me would love to have another, while the other part doesn't know if I have the patience...or the $$!!
I'll be 34 this year, so IF we do it, I don't want to wait TOO Long, and I'm afraid if we don't have a 3rd I'll look back in a few years and regret that we didn't.

I'm so confused!!!!


ETA:We also have 2 AMAZING kids, and I feel like we've been TOO Lucky...and maybe our next would be a nightmare

Message edited 4/23/2006 1:15:03 PM.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I agree with you but I cant imagine not being pregnant again or having another baby to love (even if #3 turns out to be the devils child) DH and I will be trying for #3 later this year.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Well, thats a very personal decision. When I married my Dh I already had a son, so I knew that we both wanted to have 1 maybe 2 more. I'm the same age as you, and obviously that decision was taken out of my hands! I was blessed with 2 at once. We won't be having anymore, I had my tubes tied. Which now although I am a little sad that I'll never be preggo again, it was the right decision for us. Soooooo, I have to say that I love having 3 children, so in my opinion, I say go for it!!!!!

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

IMO, 2 kids are PERFECT!!!! I LOVE my son to pieces, but 2 is so much easier, and you always have 1 parent per child. Last week, My oldest daughter was with my Mom all day and I just had the youngest 2 and it was a world of differencde (and my 6 yo is not tons of work). I truly feel like 3# pushed me over the edge a bit, my patience is tested constantly and you TRULY have little to no time for yourself, someone always needs something from you. Also, last week ALL my kids were VERY sick and it was insane over here, everyone was crying, achey, miserable and so was Mommy, When I got sick forgert it, all hell broke loose. Kids are great, but when you get to #3 things really change. I lve being the Mommy of 3, but it is really a challenge on a daily basis, I wouldn't change it for anything though.Even a trip to the circus costs a TON. It's really an individual decision.

Message edited 4/23/2006 4:26:01 PM.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I know I am going to be just as torn when it comes time for us to make this decision. I know for sure we'll have two but DH wants 3 and I don't know if I will want to.
Good Luck on your decision.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I allllso say its a personal decision. I have two kids - a boy and a girl and I had my tubes tied. Although I am sad I can never get pregnant again I know I only wanted two kids so for me 3 was out - I dont think I could handle three. I have my boy and my girl and am happy with that.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Very personal decision, but I know we want 2 or 3 more. I love the idea of having a big family. But who knows after the next one we decide not to go for anymore.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I would love 3 (but DH will be stopping me after 2 )

I say if you both want it GO FOR IT!!!!!

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I say go for the 3rd!
Of course an extra child will be more difficult but wont its also so rewarding?
Im on my 3rd and I am already thinknig about the 4th..I always wanted a BIG family with lots of kids though...
Take a few more months to think about it..
I would also try to do it within a year if you were going too..

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Funny, I have been set on 2 for a while, but a tiny piece of me says maybe more someday. I dunno. No help.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I would love 3, but I think we're holding at 2.

Here was a similar post that I responded to:
http://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic.aspx?&P=1&ID=28679#P386329

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

We are trying to make the same decision right now... it's REALLY tough... I know that right now we have the one on one advantage with the kids and it makes things pretty easy when we go somewhere and right now the kids have their own room, so having a 3rd would mean that someone would have to share (my DH and I both had to share a room with our sibling)... but next year Jordan will be in Kindergarten and he'll be at school for a full day and then I will be home with just Mallory during the day so I think I want to take a year and enjoy that time with JUST her and then go for #3... my gut feeling is to go for it, because I know when I think about not having a 3rd it makes me really sad.. my DH and I both have 2 siblings and we LOVE the way our family was. Good luck!, I know how hard that decision is!

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I keep saying I am done and we are stopping at 2. And it just seems right for us at this time. But there is absolutely no way to know that I won't change my mind down the line... I cna't say we have forever to make the decision, but I would want a 3rd to be at least 3 years apart. BUt I still think we're done

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Well, I'm only up to #1 now, but I have always wanted at least 3. My dad considers his biggest regret in life not going for the 3rd child. My mom and he were not on the same page at the same time and so there's only two of us.

I don't think you'll ever regret having the third; you know like, "I'm so sorry X was ever born!" But you *may* regret that you never did go for the third...Does that make sense?

The bottom line is only YOU know what is right for you. Good luck with your decision!!

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

This is something that DH and I wonder about -- and while we're not even ready to try for #2 yet sometimes I feel like I love this motherhood stuff and being pregnant was such a great feeling and I want to just keep doing it over and over again, and sometimes I want to stop now and spoil EMily and just give all of my love and attention to her forever.

We will have two -- I know we want to do that. I guess it is just a personal opinion, and I aggree with Eireann when she said that you will never regret #3 but may regret not having #3.

What does your gut feel you should do?

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Like others said, it's a very personal decision. I've always said, "I want 3 children," without even really thinking about it. DH insisted that he wanted three too. Now that we have Christopher and I'm pregnant with number 2, we decided the other day that we're going to stop at two. I'm going to get an IUD after this baby is born.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

Posted by Scotty-CassidysMom

Dh and I have been talking, and he'd really like to go for a 3rd child. I am really torn. Part of me would love to have another, while the other part doesn't know if I have the patience...or the $$!!
I'll be 34 this year, so IF we do it, I don't want to wait TOO Long, and I'm afraid if we don't have a 3rd I'll look back in a few years and regret that we didn't.

I'm so confused!!!!


ETA:We also have 2 AMAZING kids, and I feel like we've been TOO Lucky...and maybe our next would be a nightmare

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

ditto that - I have 2 girls who are so good.....20 months and 9 weeks, both sleeping all through the night - the 9 week old doesn't make a peep, even when she's wet! The ONLY time she cries a little is when she's hungry. I used to think, there is no way I will get this lucky twice, now here I am. So, of course I am thinking, the 3rd will have to be a terror! Plus, there's the money thing, and I think how I would have more to offer these two if there is not a third - as far as college money and just overall attention, you know? But, then I think about not going through the miracle of having a child just one more time, and I can't even imagine it! We came up with a plan, to try and get pg again in Nov/Dec - ie try for 2 months. If it happens it was meant to be, and if it doesn't it was meant to be? Don't know if we'll stick with that though!

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

i have a boy and i girl. thats it for me,i am completely fullfilled and happy. and couldnt ask for anything more, but just the fact that you are thinking about one more, makes me think you really want one . good luck in your decision.

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

As much as it pains me, I have two and am done. Given my history of 6 miscarriages over 3 years and being 42, I think my clock and mental state have run out of time

Re: To go for #3 or stay with 2???

I always wanted 3, but DH is insistent on 2. As much as I would want to push the subject, the truth is I feel we can provide so much more financially (college, car, wedding ect) to 2 then 3. But if I win the lotto and $$ isnt an issue, then I want 4! LOL