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If your child committed a terrible crime- would you turn them in or hide the truth to protect them?

Forum Opinion Poll
Yes 15 28.30%
No 6 11.32%
Depends on the crime (explain please!) 28 52.83%
Other 4 7.55%
 

Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Posted By Message

JennyPenny
?

Member since 1/08

12702 total posts

Name:
Jen

Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

If, in the future, your child committed a serious, serious crime and you KNEW they did it- would you hide the truth to protect them?

I was having this conversation with my MIL and I was curious what others think.

I don't even know how the conversation came up, but I asked her if she would turn DH in if she knew he killed me. (I know- i'm derangedChat Icon)

For those of you wondering- she said she wouldn't turn him inChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/18/10 10:23 PM
 

ReiRei13
Life is Good!!

Member since 1/08

6460 total posts

Name:

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Depending on the severity of the crime, I would most likely protect him!

Posted 4/18/10 10:38 PM
 

KateDevine
*

Member since 6/06

24950 total posts

Name:

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

I don't honestly know...

I hate to say that if god forbid, he was mentally ill or something and he needed help, then I think I would turn him in...b/c it would be what was best...

I don't know...maybe by protect, I'd get him the best lawyers or something possible?

Wow. And nice of your MIL tooChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

ETA-I <3 your avatar Jenny!

Message edited 4/18/2010 10:41:25 PM.

Posted 4/18/10 10:41 PM
 

Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!

Member since 12/08

11013 total posts

Name:

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

If someone else was greatly harmed by his actions then I think I would have to turn him in. As hard as it would be for me, I believe that he should suffer the consequences for his actions and hopefully I will raise him well enough that he will never need to suffer any.

Posted 4/18/10 10:42 PM
 

eddiesmommy
best buds!

Member since 5/09

11524 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

honestly, I dont think I could.

I wouldnt hide him, pretend he wasnt there if the authorities came looking, not tell them where he is, etc, but I wouldnt personally call the police and turn him in.

Posted 4/18/10 10:45 PM
 

Shorty
.

Member since 5/05

30390 total posts

Name:
really

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Posted by eddiesmommy

honestly, I dont think I could.

I wouldnt hide him, pretend he wasnt there if the authorities came looking, not tell them where he is, etc, but I wouldnt personally call the police and turn him in.



same.
i wouldn't turn him in, but I wouldn't hinder any investigation.

Posted 4/18/10 11:47 PM
 

BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!

Member since 10/06

5913 total posts

Name:
Denise

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

First off, God willing, I'd raise a child who would not commit such a crime. And second, I would hope that should something happen, I'd raised him to turn himself in. I'd be by his side every minute of every day with the best of counsel.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

But that's pretty bogus of your MIL to say. Murder?! She'd cover up murder!? Of the mother of her grandchildren?! What, is she watching too much Desperate Housewives?! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/19/10 12:28 AM
 

Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!

Member since 5/05

12165 total posts

Name:

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Of course, I know that you can never really know what you would do until you are actually presented with a situation but...

As of right now, I can't imagine a scenario in which I WOULDN'T turn my child in (Actually, I'd probably encourage/force them to turn themselves in before I did it.). Especially in the case of a "serious, serious crime." Killing someone--even accidentally or in self-defense--warrants this type of action, IMO. Rape, kidnapping, vandalism etc etc. It just goes without saying in my mind.

Even if my kid stole a candy bar from the corner store, you can bet I'd march her right down to the store and make her give it back and apologize in person.

ETA...You know what, it actually burns me up to think that there are some parents in the world that wouldn't turn their child in if they murdered my child or anyone else's. I can't even imagine the anguish of the parents whose child was killed, never to find the answers. Chat Icon Of course, it wouldn't be anyone on this board, all of us are raising upright citizens!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 4/19/2010 8:08:08 AM.

Posted 4/19/10 8:05 AM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

It is always hard to answer tthese types of hypothetical questions. As others said-I can;t see turning in my own child, but I don;t think I would hamper an investigation. It definitely depends on the crime...self defense, violent etc.

Posted 4/19/10 8:38 AM
 

4PsInaPod
My Loves <3

Member since 7/07

10079 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Anyone watch Brothers & Sisters? Chat Icon (this is currently happening on the show right now)

Posted by Shorty

Posted by eddiesmommy

honestly, I dont think I could.

I wouldnt hide him, pretend he wasnt there if the authorities came looking, not tell them where he is, etc, but I wouldnt personally call the police and turn him in.



same.
i wouldn't turn him in, but I wouldn't hinder any investigation.



But I agree with the above.

Posted 4/19/10 8:47 AM
 

browneyedgirl
family is all that matters

Member since 6/06

6513 total posts

Name:
browneyes

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Posted by BnBdreamin

First off, God willing, I'd raise a child who would not commit such a crime. And second, I would hope that should something happen, I'd raised him to turn himself in. I'd be by his side every minute of every day with the best of counsel.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

But that's pretty bogus of your MIL to say. Murder?! She'd cover up murder!? Of the mother of her grandchildren?! What, is she watching too much Desperate Housewives?! Chat Icon Chat Icon



i agree.

i could never harbor a criminal, even if it's my child. i love them dearly, but if they commit a crime, they need to take responsibility for it. i do them a disservice by letting them get away with it.

i was raised better than that. i will always love my children with everything i have, but if they murder, rob, rape, etc, they need to do the right thing and i, as their mother, need to do the right thing as well. i couldn't live with myself otherwise.

Posted 4/19/10 12:27 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Would I turn them in? Probably not. I cannot imagine doing that, but I PRAY and HOPE I raise children who would either not commit a crime, woudl turn themselves in or would only be as mentally ill as I would expect them to be to do so and in that case, Iw ould seek treatment if a crime were committed yes.

Posted 4/19/10 12:34 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

I think as much as it would pain me to see my child go to jail, I need to think there is a lesson learned.

I'm the one that made him donate his favorite toy to Big Brothers/Big Sisters after he stole magic markers from a store & that was tough but jail...that's just heartbreaking.

Posted 4/19/10 12:39 PM
 

lvdolphins
My Loves!

Member since 5/05

46292 total posts

Name:

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Posted by Shorty

Posted by eddiesmommy

honestly, I dont think I could.

I wouldnt hide him, pretend he wasnt there if the authorities came looking, not tell them where he is, etc, but I wouldnt personally call the police and turn him in.



same.
i wouldn't turn him in, but I wouldn't hinder any investigation.



ITA

Posted 4/19/10 12:43 PM
 

MrsSteflily
I love chocolate

Member since 4/06

2047 total posts

Name:
Stef

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

If they lived under my roof, then I would force them to turn themselves in.

If they did not, then I would not hamper the investigation.

I hope Chat Icon that none of us are ever in a position where we have to make this decision.

Posted 4/19/10 1:05 PM
 

Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!

Member since 6/06

14437 total posts

Name:
C

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Posted by MrsSteflily

If they lived under my roof, then I would force them to turn themselves in.

If they did not, then I would not hamper the investigation.

I hope Chat Icon that none of us are ever in a position where we have to make this decision.



Same here!

Posted 4/19/10 1:07 PM
 

neener1211
:-)

Member since 4/07

22952 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

I hope this never happens, but I would either encourage them to turn themselves in, or let them know that I am still his/her mother and love them, but will go down with them to turn themselves in.

If they refused to turn themselves in, I would do it. It would be very difficult to do though.

Posted 4/19/10 1:11 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

I do not think I would ever turn my child in but I would not help the police find them either

such a tough question Chat Icon

Posted 4/19/10 1:12 PM
 

mommyIam

Member since 7/09

9209 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: Just an interesting (hypothetical) question...

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by MrsSteflily

If they lived under my roof, then I would force them to turn themselves in.

If they did not, then I would not hamper the investigation.

I hope Chat Icon that none of us are ever in a position where we have to make this decision.



Same here!



I agree as well. Up to age of about 18 or until they are on their own, its my problem, and I would encourage and even enforce responsibility.

After that I would probably leave it alone and give as much guidance as possible. But I think I would have a hard time turning them in myself. If they were a danger to themselves or anyone, I think I might be able to.

Posted 4/19/10 1:14 PM
 
 

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