I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

I hope someone can validate my feelings.

We moved to NY away from our families in 2005. I was pregnant in 2006 and went home twice during my pregnancy to visit. The second time, my MIL hosted a small baby shower for me with her side of the family. My side of the family (my mom, my dad, and my stepmom - all separate houses) didn't do anything. At the time, I was a little hurt, but I figured they'd throw a "welcome baby" party for the baby's first visit. My stepmom threw a shower for my SIL two years prior so why wouldn't I get one?

So my DD's first visit home came and went and no celebrating of any kind with my side of the family. ILs had a meet and greet BBQ at their place.

In 2008, I was home for a visit and my mom was hosting a "welcome baby" party for my uncle's (her brother's) baby. The party was to start about 2 hours after I needed to leave to go home. My uncle and his wife wanted to see me before I left so they came a little early. I had a meltdown. I've never had one before and it just all flooded up. I felt very slighted by my own mother for not having any sort of party for her own granddaughter and she was doing the whole 9 yards for my uncle's baby. (And she spent more on his gift than she did on my DD!) I didn't want my uncle to know I was upset about that so I blamed it on me coming down with a cold and not being able to hold his baby.

Then, last October, my stepmom threw a shower for my brother's girlfriend (my brother's first baby, his GF's third). She even invited my dad's family, which is her ex-husband. She "forgot" to send me an invite so I didn't know a thing about it until after the fact. Somehow, I think that had more to do with the fact that she didn't do the same for me.

I'm pregnant with #2, which is why I'm being so sensitive about it all again. I'm also planning a trip back home, probably my only one this pregnancy, and although I'm not expecting any sort of excitement for this baby, I worry I'm going to have another meltdown thinking about how they can do things for everyone else but for me. Am I justified to feel this way? Am I being screwed just because I live OOS or are these people just clueless?

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I feel a little better venting about it already.

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

Your feelings are valid...I would feel the same way! You should be telling them exactly how you feel.

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

I would have a melt down too....my family stinks....you would with the responses we got from them after we announced I was pg with dd#2.....

come visit me when you are out here, we'll have a lif sprinkle for you!!

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

Your feelings are completely valid. I am so sorry that your family is treating you this way. I think I would say something to your mom now, before you go, then maybe she could organize something. Good luck.

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

Posted by jellybean1420



Your feelings are valid...I would feel the same way! You should be telling them exactly how you feel.

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

Completely valid-I would say something to your mom.

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

That is not right! I think you should talk to your mom and tell her how you feel.

Re: I've been thinking about this a lot lately..(long vent)

I think the way you are feeling is COMPLETELY valid.