| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 |
keepinmyman
LIF Infant
Member since 9/07 212 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
My husband and I will be doing whatever is necesaary to pay for DDs college. She will have to work for spending money and incidentals and if she has to take out a loan, then we will help her pay it back. I am STILL paying off my loans and I have been out of school for more years than I care to say. I don't want her to have to be burdened with that. She has to sacrifice in that she won't be appyling to some schools she really wants to because they will be out of our range and I do not want her to be saddled with debt anyway. So she is limited to state schools, which are fine. I went to a state school. But when you are 16 and have big dreams, the removing of NYU off the table can be a disappointment. But she will appreciate it when she has graduated and has one less thing to worry about.
|
Posted 2/1/10 4:55 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Well DH and I are on two opposite ends of the spectrum. I had all of my school (undergrad and law school paid for) DH received not a dime for any of his undergraduate or Law school tuition. DH feels strongly that if you have the children you should be responsible for doing everything you can to pay for them and not leave them starting out life with a large debt (good debt or otherwise). While college loans are much more doable (DH worked 40 hours a week to pay for undergrad - he got money from scholarships but it wasn't nearly enough). I can tell you that most of the people I know who went to law school came out with a lot of debt unless their parents helped them. In fact DH's law school expected parents and family to contribute a certain dollar amount every year to their schooling and they take that into account when they decide how much you can take out - since DH's family didn't help him at all - he had to save that money before he could even start.
I do agree with him to a point. I feel like why should you want your child to start life 100k or more in debt - and that does burden you when you want to start a family etc. I believe that if you have children you should pay for as much as you can to help them out. I don't know that you have to pay 100% but I believe helping them as much as you can when they are trying to get ahead is the responsible thing. I DO know I will probably be flamed for saying that but that is what we feel. DH and I would love to have a 3rd but we feel that we won't be able to give our children as much if we are selfish and want the 3rd whereas we can provide much more for the two we have.
BTW I'm curious those who don't feel like the loans are a burden - do you only have undergraduate or lesser expensive master loans or did you go for more expensive degrees - like MD's, JDs etc?
|
| Posted 2/1/10 7:47 PM |
| |
|
conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
DH and i have opened a 529 college savings plan and hope to help DS play for college. I am STILL paying my student loans and its such a burden. I would love to not have to put that burden on Will
|
| Posted 2/1/10 7:51 PM |
| |
|
Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
my parents had 0 money saved.. I took out student loans in my name and my parents paid them off...
While we are saving for our DC we will more than likely have to supplement that $ with loans.
|
| Posted 2/1/10 7:54 PM |
| |
|
Heather617
My Babies
Member since 5/05 2566 total posts
Name:
Heather
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by conigs25
DH and i have opened a 529 college savings plan and hope to help DS play for college. I am STILL paying my student loans and its such a burden. I would love to not have to put that burden on Will
ITA. DH and I both have retirement funds and a 529 for DS. We save a little every month so that he will not have the burden of college loans. My parents paid for college and I paid for grad school.
|
| Posted 2/1/10 8:01 PM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Lillykat
BTW I'm curious those who don't feel like the loans are a burden - do you only have undergraduate or lesser expensive master loans or did you go for more expensive degrees - like MD's, JDs etc?
I have a master's and PhD and my parents did pay for the majority of my undergrad, but I paid for all my grad school. It was a burden, yes, but I think I thought more about what I wanted to do since I was paying for it myself. I paid off all of the loans before we TTC. It just meant that we got a smaller house or less expensive cars, and since I got the degree, I am making more than I would have without it.
My brother went to law school and was not eligible for federal loans b/c of my father's income, so my brother took out bank loans. They were high interest, but he is now making much more because of the expensive school he chose (he was offered a full scholarship to Duke law but turned it down).
Anyway, I didn't feel that the loans were a huge burden in the big scheme of things, and I will pay for undergrad for DC, but expect them to pay for any additional schooling.
|
| Posted 2/1/10 8:17 PM |
| |
|
MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
There is nothing "wrong" with having to take out student loans. I did it, and am still paying them off.
However, we are fortunate to be in a position to have college savings accounts for each of our children. We have a 529 account open for each of them, and the money comes directly out of DHs paycheck.
Its a struggle to pay off all those loans, and we want to be able to give our children the best chance to NOT graduate with a mountain of debt.
|
| Posted 2/1/10 8:38 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Sassyz75
While we are saving for our DC we will more than likely have to supplement that $ with loans.
same here
|
| Posted 2/1/10 8:40 PM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
I'm coming late to the table but here's how it works for us:
Savings (emergency stash, etc)
Retirement
Education
We save for all but max out retirement options and make sure we have a solid savings account before we contribute to our kids' custodial accounts and 529s.
I graduated with student loans, I'd like to help my kids avoid starting out their career with loans if possible. Part of that will be in educating them on accepting the best package-after considering any scholarship packages, etc. If they get accepted to Harvard, then maybe I'll kick in some extra dough.
|
| Posted 2/1/10 9:55 PM |
| |
|
ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by neenie
. Our goal is to not let her know about it until she's arond 18ish. I want her to work like she doesnt have the money- i think the easiest way to accomplish that is to let her think that she really doesnt have it. 
this is my plan too. imagine the look on their faces when they find out they've had this stash since conception 
A friend of mine was under the assumption that she had to pay for her entire education. Because of that shw worked her @ss off! On her graduation day, her parents paid for the entire 4 years! I thought that was awesome
|
| Posted 2/1/10 10:20 PM |
| |
|
brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
My DH has some loans from pharmacy school he's still paying off
I had my ugrad and masters paid for from my mom but am paying now while working on my PhD (well I have an assistantship so the school pays for it)
We plan on saving and giving DD what we have set aside for her and the rest loans if necessary. I'll also encourage state schools
|
| Posted 2/1/10 10:32 PM |
| |
|
jps
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/09 435 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
A few comments.
My parents saved for my college since I was a baby because education was a huge priority for them and to the extent they could, they wanted to minimize my debt. However, the cost of college turned out to be way more than they expected.
I went to the top 10 private undergrad I really wanted to go to and had an amazing experience (even as a psych major  ) and was extremely involved, focused on school, got killer grades, was an RA (which got me free room/board which enabled me to graduate debt-free), met my DH and earned a full ride to a top 20 law school (which I accepted over a full price higher-ranked law school because I didn't want the loans and felt it was the right decision for me financially). My parents did pay my cheap OOS rent for my first year of law school as a congrats-on-the-full-ride gift, but I used the opportunity to save as much as I could and we have a very nice nest egg.
Law students notoriously have tons of debt, and my classmates run the gamut (those with $300k+ loans from private undergrad and law school, those whose parents paid for everything, those who worked during school, those with scholarships, etc). With the economy the way it is, I am very very very glad to be debt free...
I plan to save for my children to the extent that I can (putting my own retirement first as a practical matter) but don't think it means they will be unappreciative entitled brats.
|
| Posted 2/1/10 11:00 PM |
| |
|
4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
We have a savings account for Joey and one day I hope it will be enough to pay for his college. I was fortunate to have my parents pay for college, DH was not and it's a burden having to pay his student loans every month. It did not make me work any less harder then if they weren't paid for, if nothing else I wanted to let my parents know I wasn't wasting their money. I hope I can give Joey the same my parents gave to me or at least allow him to "start his life" with no outstanding debts. Although if it did come to that, it's the best debt to have. (i use the word debt loosely)
|
| Posted 2/1/10 11:13 PM |
| |
|
jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Paying student loans are definitely a burden for me and my DH. I did not have to take out one for undergrad, but I did for grad school. My DH has student loans form both undergrad and grad school. We would have a lot more money to save if we did not have to pay this debt. I know I would not want my DC to be in this situation. I want to be able to at least help them pay for undergrad and grad school. Each month we put a little money in each for their 529 plans and we also put money into a retirement plan.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 6:26 AM |
| |
|
jennandrob
mom of two!
Member since 5/05 4368 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
We haven't opened up a 529 for DD, but we plan to soon. But in all honesty, I had to pay for college through student loans, and it's likely that she will have to do the same.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 6:36 AM |
| |
|
Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by greeneyes361708
I feel the same way. Saving for college isn't high on our priority list. I'd rather save for our retirement. They can take out student loans.
That is what our accountant said. You have to FIRST set $$ aside for YOUR retirement.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 7:17 AM |
| |
|
DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
For a NY state resident to attend a SUNY school (including room and board) it costs considerably over $20,000 a year - it's getting close to $30,000. There was just an article on this in Sunday's Newsday. That's a heck of a lot more than it cost when I was choosing a college.
My kids can get free tuition if they attend the school I am a professor at - but room and board is not included.
My parents told me that they would pay for my college education but I couldnt go anywhere I wanted to. I chose a state college in VA where I got a scholarship that lowered the price to a SUNY equivalent. I was accepted at Vassar and Wellesley but the tuition was way more than what my parents were willing/able to pay. And they didn't want me to take out huge loans.
I graduated with my PhD with zero debt, thanks to going to state and city schools, and my working 3 jobs in grad school.
I'm all for telling my daughter to aim for great schools - but honestly, it really doesnt matter where you go to college. Unfortunately, for so many careers, what matters A LOT more is where you went to grad/law/med school. I'd tell my kids to take out loans for grad school - but not undergrad.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 8:20 AM |
| |
|
CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Lillykat
BTW I'm curious those who don't feel like the loans are a burden - do you only have undergraduate or lesser expensive master loans or did you go for more expensive degrees - like MD's, JDs etc?
It isn't that I don't think loans are a burden because they can be and are. But I think the question was more to the point of sacrificing your retirement savings to save/pay for your children's higher education. I don't think that parents should place saving for their children's college financial needs above the need to save for their retirement. Saving for college should be below saving for retirement.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 8:32 AM |
| |
|
Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Lillykat
BTW I'm curious those who don't feel like the loans are a burden - do you only have undergraduate or lesser expensive master loans or did you go for more expensive degrees - like MD's, JDs etc?
I don't have college loans because my parents paid for it - and because of that, I threw myself into my studies and graduated with ridiculously good grades - and because of that, I received an amazing scholarship to attend law school - I only had to pay about $5k a year! So my law school loans aren't much of a burden...
|
| Posted 2/2/10 8:41 AM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Mine don't feel like a burden, but I think it's just because it's like a mortgage payment or a car payment to me. I budget for it every month and it comes out automatically, so it isn't something I give a second thought to.
But I know I'm in a different financial situation than a lot of people.
I will say that I was putting a lot into the 529 and not as much into my 401(k).
After this thread I sat back and calculated things and I realized I was making a huge mistake by doing that.
I brought my monthly 529 payment down and put the difference into my 401(k).
|
| Posted 2/2/10 8:46 AM |
| |
|
Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Tine73
Posted by eddiesmommy
I would just rather my child not have any debt at all if I can help it.
I agree - it's our goal. Both of our parents paid for our undergrad and we hope to to the same for our children. But it's not the end of the world if we can't.
Same here!
We will help as much as we can being the cost of college is going to be astronomical by the time our kids go to school, who knows how much.
ETA: My kids aren't going to get a free ride just because...they have to earn it and prove they are serious about school. I had to do well in HS and I had to do well in college courses. I had to get all A's and B's in my classes or I had to pay for the class.
Message edited 2/2/2010 9:13:12 AM.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 9:11 AM |
| |
|
Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by Lillykat
BTW I'm curious those who don't feel like the loans are a burden - do you only have undergraduate or lesser expensive master loans or did you go for more expensive degrees - like MD's, JDs etc?
It isn't that I don't think loans are a burden because they can be and are. But I think the question was more to the point of sacrificing your retirement savings to save/pay for your children's higher education. I don't think that parents should place saving for their children's college financial needs above the need to save for their retirement. Saving for college should be below saving for retirement.
I don't think someone should sacrifice their retirement at all being a burden on your children is just as bad IMO- but I see people saving for retirement and retiring at an earlier age rather than working a little longer or living more frugally. I'm NOT saying people on here do this by any stretch- but for example I knew plenty of people growing up whose parents had a nice home, they had nice cars, nice vacations but when it came time for school were told sorry take out the loans and good luck. We only take vacations every 1.5 - 2 years, we don't have the best cars etc b/c I would rather put the money into retirement and college/education than into having a few extras luxuries now. In fact you can't get much if any financial aid depending on your parents income - I knew several people who had to drop out b.c they couldn't get the aid b/c their parents made too much - but yet their parents weren't contributing at all.
If you can't afford to pay for college I feel like you should try to pay for as much as you can (even if it means they take the loans and the parents pay for it). The point I guess I'm trying to make is that to me (and this is ME) education is very important and I have had MANY friends that had to give up their dreams of certain fields b/c those fields might not be lucrative and they had to pay for school all on their own - while their families could have helped them.
They ended up NOT getting degrees that they wanted b.c they knew they would have a harder time affording the loans. Also just b.c you go to medical school or law school doesn't mean you will make a ton of money - there are MANY attorneys out there who don't make over 100k or even over 50K - and in fact I know people who wanted to have more charitable type jobs but couldn't take them b.c their loans were so great they couldn't afford to pay for them, pay for living expenses AND work their dream jobs even though they worked hard for that degree.
We have several accounts set up for both girls. When family ask us if we need clothes, toys etc - we ask them to instead to make a donation to their schooling funds. My parents have also made a fund for both girls for their future schooling with whatever they choose.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 10:01 AM |
| |
|
Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
I don't like 529 plans because they can only be used for college and perhaps DD will not take that route. I also don't want to have a ton of money in a 529 and then she goes to a CUNY and doesn't use it all. So, we invest for her future, but not in a 529.
On another note, DH and I had very different upbringings. He was basically able to go to any college he wanted on his parents' dime and I had to pay my own way. We both went to private colleges, but I have 84758934678745385682 dollars in student loans from undergrad and graduate school and he does not. I did better than him GPA-wise, but he earns more money than me now and is really knowledgeable in his field, so while he "partied" and such, you can see that his education was by no means a "waste."
I think it's a nice gift to be able to give your kids.
ETA: I didn't write about the retirement thing--I used to be crazy about saving for retirement--24% of my paycheck went into my 403B. Now, I lowered that amount because I am on a sabbatical. I will however, raise it again when I feel comfortable with my take home pay. I don't like to go without small luxuries that make my life more pleasant NOW to save heftily for a future that is uncertain. I know it's a bit morbid, but it's the way I feel lately.
Message edited 2/2/2010 10:32:19 AM.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 10:28 AM |
| |
|
leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by Snickers
I don't like 529 plans because they can only be used for college and perhaps DD will not take that route. I also don't want to have a ton of money in a 529 and then she goes to a CUNY and doesn't use it all. So, we invest for her future, but not in a 529.
This is my opinion about 529 plans, also. I am saving money in an ING account for now. I was thinking, what if both twins don't want college at all, they would lose all the money, then, right?....there's no other young relatives I could give it to....
|
| Posted 2/2/10 10:33 AM |
| |
|
CucumberGirl
You give the best smiles!
Member since 1/09 2398 total posts
Name:
M~
|
Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?
Posted by leighdvm
Posted by Snickers
I don't like 529 plans because they can only be used for college and perhaps DD will not take that route. I also don't want to have a ton of money in a 529 and then she goes to a CUNY and doesn't use it all. So, we invest for her future, but not in a 529.
This is my opinion about 529 plans, also. I am saving money in an ING account for now. I was thinking, what if both twins don't want college at all, they would lose all the money, then, right?....there's no other young relatives I could give it to....
I feel the same way - I find them rather limiting. You could end up doing too well in these or your DC could get a scholarship, and then what? Sure you could transfer to another child I believe, but wouldn't it have been nice if this could've been used for a down payment? DD is not quite 2 weeks old yet so we haven't figured out what we're doing for her but her 529 will be small and we will only do one if we can use the deduction, which we may not be able to. We will find out when we do our taxes. Otherwise, we will set up a savings account and an investment account with mutual funds for her instead so that there is flexibility.
I do think you should pay yourself first, but I also agree that there are people who waste a lot of money and live beyond their means and then have nothing for their children. My own brother is one of these people and I set up a 529 for my nephew so that he at least has something - it's not huge, but it's something and I do worry about him and am fortunate enough to be able to help.
We're very fortunate and can afford to take care of ourselves and our children. We also come from very different backgrounds. I grew up dirt poor, went to a top college for free as a result, went to law school on loans (turning down a partial scholarship to go to a better school - this was a good decision job-wise in the long-run), and have seen how burdensome private loans can be (gov't loans are generally not so bad). DH's parents put money aside for their kids, paid for his college, a good chunk of his law school, his living expenses while in school, and still had money leftover for our down payment and then some. I cannot emphasize how helpful this has been to us, particularly with the loans I graduated with and have now mostly paid off. We are fortunate enough to have very nice jobs and we do live well (we are not wasteful by any stretch of the imagination nor do we live beyond our means - no mcmansions or fancy cars here - but we *could* be more frugal if need be and I choose not to be - I grew up very poor and did not work so hard to not enjoy myself now), but loans can be crippling and I'd much rather give our kids what DH had if we can swing it. Of course, much like DH, they won't know about their money until the time comes and even then they won't know the extent until the time comes. DH did not have control over his money until after we got married. He was 30 at the time. I think this is key towards making sure our kids don't have a sense of entitlement - neither one of us did and we definitely want to instill this type of work ethic in our children.
|
| Posted 2/2/10 12:53 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 |
