Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

A lot of people have told me that I will welcome any help I can get the first few weeks but I feel you But if you feel uncomfortable, I would talk to DH and see if he can talk to her about it.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

We live OOS and we made it very clear (in a nice way) that all visitors would not be staying at our house! I gave out hotel recs and phone numbers!

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

I think you'll appreciate the help. A week may be a little too long for a MIL stay, but I would be clear with her that you want to bond with the baby.

My MIL stayed a few days and wanted me to leave the baby with her in the guest room overnight. Her heart was in the right place, but I didn't want that.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

My MIL lives in greece. She's staying with us for a month. I have no idea how to feel about this either. This is all so new to me I dont know what to expect or what to ask or anything. She's coming on Jan 7th and I'm having my c-section the 11th. I'm really hoping I go early so that I have that alone bonding time. My SIL from canada is also coming for a few weeks on Jan 9th. Im sure theyll be helpful I just hope they stick to the cleaning and cooking!

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

As exhausted and overwhelmed as I was IDK if I would have wanted anyone to stay over our house. Our family was over all day everyday and although they were all SO helpful, it was nice to have everyone go home. My house was a mess from everyone over all the time, it was always loud. It was probably just my horomones, (b/c I love that ppl are always passing by our house) but there were days the first few weeks I cried that I wanted the company to stop.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

You will definitely appreciate the help! I had my family over everyday after giving birth to DD and it was a HUGE help and I appreciated it so much. Both you and your DH will need the help.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

No absolutely NOT. i just went thru this with mil whos oot and first grandchild.
she tried staying wth us 6 weeks. ( i was against this the hwole time but she made her own tickets witout telling us)she was supposed to stay 2 days out of the week with me and the rest of the week with her sister.
but she planted her butt on the couch and wanted to hold ds all day long while i cooked and cleaned.
This lasted about 2 weeks. she never went to her sisters house.
We had a blow out. i pretty much told her either she left my house or i would go to my mothers house with the baby bc i couldnt deal with it.

U NEED ur privacy and ur OWN bonding time with ur new child. Let her come when ur child is 3 months or so for ONLY a week.

eta: the tension started from day 2 that she was at my house

our relationship is pretty much strained now. shes back - yea back again- but staying at a hotel bc theres way to much tension btwn us now.


eta: the tension started on day 2

Message edited 12/28/2009 9:05:21 AM.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

My mother stayed for 3 weeks and was a huge help.

We were so sad to see her go.

She held baby while I slept, but that was it. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, made sure I had time to shower...

I hope she is welcomed into my brother's home one day even though she is the mil.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

personally i do NOT want my in-laws staying with me. but i think it depends on each person individually and what they want. For me, i know i would be more stressed with someone staying over and i would not be able to relax as much. i need my down time and i think it will be hard for me to not feel like i have to entertain. that being said, my mother in law is going to come into town after the baby is born but will be staying in a hotel. i want her to spent time with her grandchild, but just not sleep over.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

Posted by waiting4ablessing

as someone who cried from exhaustion every night the first week DS was home, let me tell you to TAKE THE HELP AND SAY THANK YOU. you're going to need it!

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

I am worried about the same thing happening to us. Right now we live in a 1BR so there is no way she is staying here with us. If we had a house it would be harder for that to happen. I know she will be here for awhile but at least she will be in a hotel. I don't know how we are going to juggle visitors/bonding alone time. It stresses me out. All of our family lives OOT so it is going to be hard. DH is pretty good with putting his foot down. He is concerned with me having time to relax, and breastfeed, so he will be the gate keeper.

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

My MIL lives down in NC. My DS was born 8/4 and she came to stay with us for a few days when he was around 3 weeks old. At that point I really appreciated the extra set of hands, and she even took over a few night feedings for me...

Re: MIL plans to stay over after DS arrives

I would ask her to give you some time in the beginning. DH will be home with me the first couple of weeks and honestly that is all I want or need. I am the type of person that needs my space and time alone.