Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

I'm guessing it's because the drunks see what they've done and can brace a bit for impact while the poor victims don't see it coming-in so many ways.

No one deserves to die, obviously, but it is a cruel irony that the only ones who we've seen in the news who die are totally innocent victims.

Drunk drivers--all drunk drivers--deserve to lose their freedom for very long, punitive periods of time and to suffer in prison.
Bernie Madoff made a greedy, selfish decision that cost people their $$, and he's in prison. Why won't we do the same--for long stretches of time, to those whose greedy, selfish decisions cost people their lives and loved ones---forever.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

As an update to this story...apparently one of my coworkers sons is best friends with the son of the man who died. He is 20 years old and an only child. His mother, who was a passenger in the car as welll, is now brain dead. So this kid is going to lose both of his parents and be left alone, not knowing what to do at 20 years old. Drunk driving is a choice; and a horrible one at that. Lives are lost daily for no reason at all. It is immature and irresponsible to go out without a designated driver.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. I bet that stupid drunk driver thought he was "fine" too--or "good enough," the way people often say they are. There's no clear line of demarcation. I sound like a broken record, I know, but will keep saying it until things change. Why do we as a society keep meting out slaps on the wrist when clearly so much more is warranted.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

when i finished my undergrad at Stony Brook, he taught one of my favorite classes. He was well loved by all of the students!

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

I don't want anyone to think that I am personally aiming this at them, so please understand that. But, it is the generalized assumption (on a lot of people's part) that the drunk driver's actually care about what happened to the people they hurt or kill. I hate to be so cynical but I laugh when I hear people say that to me. To think that the person who did this will really feel bad about the man he killed is ridiculous, to be blunt. Years ago, before witnessing all I have seen, I probably would have said the same thing -- because *I* wouldn't be able to live with myself if I caused someone else bodily harm or death... but, in reality, that is why I would never drink and drive in the condition these drivers are in -- I mean, we are not talking a few drinks here... we are talking, I can barely walk. That is what the levels most of these drivers are at (around .08/.09 and higher).

I have seen and heard about too many crashes related to alcohol that I have lost count. NEVER, not once, did I ever witness the person responsible show ANY amount of true remorse, if at all. The volunteers from MADD who came to court with us everyday during the trial (their son was killed 18 years ago) told us they have, in 18 years of doing this since their son was killed, NEVER witnessed a driver actually show remorse - true remorse would be to plead guilty, offer NO ridiculous excuses for why the crash happened, say I AM SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOUR DAUGHTER, SON, BROTHER, FRIEND, FATHER, ETC... *NOT* "I'm sorry for WHAT HAPPENED to your brother" -- God did not come down and make this occur -- YOU did this. And true remorse would be stating that in open court, taking your punishment like a MAN and serving your time!!!! That is the LEAST these drivers can do after all the pain and destruction they cause -- when most of them, and I have seen it with my OWN TWO EYES, just carelessly shrug off the lives that they have altered/ended and say "well, it was an accident -- I didn't think I was that bad".

Put yourself in a victim's shoes for one minute instead of putting yourself in the criminals shoes -- think about what it would feel like if a defendant casually strolled into the courtroom, plead NOT guilty to killing YOUR child and didn't even BAT an eye at the pictures that were shown to them of the accident scene. NOT ONE TEAR was shed during the entire trial for my brother by the man that did this. He watched my brother sit up there in the testimony box being stared at by everyone - like some sort of exhibit, Kenneth cannot talk back and he just rolled his eyes and looked out the window.

The man who did this stated, during direct testimony, that HE was the one seriously injured -- not Kenneth. He said he had trouble sleeping the night of the crash because he was SORE -- THAT was his serious injury. He also said that HE lost a lot of weight in jail -- that WE should feel bad for him and his "bad luck" that night. Then, there were the pictures - of Kenneth on the breathing tube, his eyes swollen shut, his brain swelling out so much that his head looked like a balloon -- he glanced down at them, and looked out the WINDOW. As if someone showed him pictures of a sunny beach.

I wish I could sit here and say that from my countless personal experiences, this is the extreme - this is the exception, not the norm. I wish I could lie to you and say that, because that is the way it SHOULD be. But, unfortunately, it is not the "one in a million" that does NOT feel bad -- it is the one in a million that DOES show some sign of regret, remorse, or true upsetment.

So, no, I can't feel bad for the drunk driver or not wish something bad to happen to them - I believe in an eye for an eye. I think that person should suffer in the same way they caused another to suffer... but that is not possible. Life just doesn't work that way. I will "feel bad" and not wish harm on them the day they start feeling bad for what they did and the lives they destroyed... Until that day comes, I reserve my sympathy for the victims.

Message edited 6/23/2009 1:37:25 PM.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Make that two lives taken by this azz.

Psychologist in crash taken off life support

I feel so bad for their son. He is only 20 and lost both his parents in a blink of an eye. My thoughts and prayers for son and the family.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

I'm so sad to find out that his mother passed away as well... they are listed. I'll send their poor son a card tomorrow.

I feel awful for him - I wish there was something more that could be done.

Message edited 6/23/2009 4:07:26 PM.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

he is so young...but he seems like he has a good head on his shoulders...this is amazing that he could think about this now....how awful for a 20 year old to be in this place


Before she died, a week or two before, we talked about organ donors," Aaron Carr said. "When you take your organs and give it to someone else, it's a way to keep on living. I think my mom liked the idea that she could keep on living after she died, by letting other people live."

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Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

flame me if you want, but i agree 100% with danirella too. this driver did not just kill 1 person, he also killed his wife and left their child an orphan. he decimated their entire family.

i know some of their relatives and they are beyond devestated. and, the autism community will never be the same after losing such a tremendously dedicated person.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Why don't these FUCK1NG drunk drivers ever die? That's what I want to know.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

such a horrible loss for everyone and everyone in the autism family!!!!!!

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Posted by LadyH

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Why don't these FUCK1NG drunk drivers ever die? That's what I want to know.

What a shameful thing to say.
Regardless of whether you knew the person who died or not -

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Posted by bri1980

Posted by LadyH

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Why don't these FUCK1NG drunk drivers ever die? That's what I want to know.

What a shameful thing to say.
Regardless of whether you knew the person who died or not -

Its NOT shameful....read Danirellas post...maybe you will feel different.

Message edited 6/24/2009 12:37:26 PM.

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Message edited 6/24/2009 12:40:30 PM.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Posted by seaside

Posted by bri1980

Posted by LadyH

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Why don't these FUCK1NG drunk drivers ever die? That's what I want to know.

What a shameful thing to say.
Regardless of whether you knew the person who died or not -

Its NOT shameful....read Danirellas post...maybe you will feel different.

It's 100% NOT shameful. She clearly meant that she doesn't understand how when there are fatalities, it always seems to work out that the drunk driver walks away and it's not him or her. She clearly isn't looking for anyone to die. Come on.
And you know what ? Many of us have noticed the same thing. Where there is a dd fatality, it is rarely if ever the drunk driver who dies. That IS odd, and the only shameful thing here is the drunk driving and people looking to twist the above sentiment to say that someone wants to see anyone die.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

ugh such a sad story. my in laws were hit by a drunk driver and my mil is not the same physical and in chronic pain. she is suffering so much and meanwhile the drunk driver is waiting for her day in court, a former HS teacher who has done this before, living her day normally. It makes me mad but I wish that she would get help I dont wish harm to her. It would be nice if she actually saw the damage her 1 night of drinking caused on a once very healthy life...

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Posted by lipglossjunky73
Why don't these FUCK1NG drunk drivers ever die? That's what I want to know.

Message edited 6/24/2009 2:02:24 PM.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

But if someone's judgment is off when they become impaired, then they have a 100% responsibility to all of us not to get impaired--whatever steps that takes--whatever needs to be done or refrained from.

If someone shot up a school and claimed to be under the influence of drugs, the grieving parents and the rest of the world would feel unmitigated rage that the person didn't stop him/herself at whatever point he/she had to---before he/she lost touch with reality and picked up the gun.

If people are so out of control that they can't control their getting in a state in which they have mitigated judgment or accountability, then they need to be kept away from society. Period.

Message edited 6/24/2009 2:10:54 PM.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by bri1980

Its NOT shameful....read Danirellas post...maybe you will feel different.

I read DaniRella's post & I don't feel differently. I think we all agree that when you are drunk, your judgment is impaired. I know many people who have made stupid decisions because they were imparied. There should be no option to drive if you are drinking. It should not be a judgment call. It is a horrible, horrible thing that happened - and I don't believe any of us think differently.

Just because she & the people she has met don't see remorse in those cases does not mean that the person is not remorseful or destroyed. I've seen the video of crying defendants pleading guilty before.

In cases where they plead innocent, it's because they are looking for less jail time - likely to salvage some sense of their own life or to support their family. I'm sure their attorneys have coached them on how they should react to defendants. I know if it were me, I couldn't bear to see what kind of damage I caused. I would be destroyed. I have no doubt that the man who did this is utterly destroyed by his actions. I don't see how he cannot be.

And as for Liza's comment:

Posted by lipglossjunky73
Why don't these FUCK1NG drunk drivers ever die? That's what I want to know.

I took the angry face to mean she wished the drunk driver died or that she was angry that they didn't die.

It was a horrific accident - and I am not saying someone should feel more sympathy for the drunk driver over the victim. What I am saying is there is "no win" in this situation. It was not an intentional act to get into an accident. Lives are destroyed by drunk driving and yes, there should be severe repercussions for those that do it.

Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

I think the impairment bit is the cruxt of the issue.

vehicular manslaughter is I believe, the only crime that can be mitigated by the use of an impairment 'defense'.

now one can argue it's a fact of the case and not necessarily a defense, but the point is, in no other crime is the perpetrator found LESS culpable b/c of impairment..only in drunk driving cases.

you can't get drunk and stab someone and claim impairment. it is not a defense recognized under the law. now, a jury may see different, but the charges are not mitigated b/c of the impairment issue.

even with insanity defenses...something recognized under the law, the charge is not mitigated, you are simply allowed to use an affirmative defense.

I think people will interpret Liza's statement differently, but I agree with Seaside's interpretation.

it's not that anyone wants to see another person hurt or killed...it just seems grossly unfair that the person who's completely reckless decision caused such devastion, gets to live or comes out physcially less scathed that those in the path of destruction.

sure, he/she may be forever changed b/c of what he/she has done...but they get to LIVE. too many "innocent" people don't get that chance.

bottom line is, if you KNOW you are going to drink whilst still sober, don't leave yourself open to the possibility of making such a grave mistake. leave your keys and your car at home.

Message edited 6/24/2009 2:18:28 PM.

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Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver

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Re: Another life taken by a stupid azz drunk driver