Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

At first I was confused what was meant by BF and bonding, but a lot of these answers gave better insight.

The way I felt was that all my children looked at me with loving and darling eyes just like the babies who are BF.

I now realize that the feeling is different coming from the mother b/c she is physically feeding her child.

Mounds of endorphins and natural chemicals ae being released from her body and brain; it a whole different exprerience. I couldn't even try to describe it b/c I never experienced it.
However, it doesn't predict how your child is going to love you- and that's how I was misunderstanding the phrase "bond like no other."

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

I don't think that anyone was saying that moms who don't breastfeed have less of a bond or cannot bond; but "different" or "not the same" often implies it to some extent and folks did say that.

And truly, if you didn't exclusively formula feed from the start, I don't think you can really know what the bond is like between a mom and her child when they do-so no one really knows if it is different.

And I say this because you are comparing it to how you felt when you breastfed which probably evokes memories/emotions of when you breastfed in the first few days of Mikayla's life and how emotional and bonding that was.

I'll tell you, I have those same memories and the same bond even though I was feeding my daughter with a bottle in those early days. Looking down at her, holding her little fingers, stroking her hair, providing nourishment for her, knowing that I created this little person and now I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and knowing that I would never shirk that responsibility because of my love for her. A mothers hormones change and surge just seeing her child.


I don't want anyone to think that I am defensive-you can't tell tone from postings but I'm not posting on here to be argumentative. As I said, I think it is fantastic to breastfeed. And it is great to feel that it helped you bond with your baby.

I just wanted to clarify for those who said that FF doesn't give you the same bond as BF that you really don't know that (just as I couldn't understand the bond between a BF mom and her baby, a mom who BF cannot understand the bond between a mom who FF and her child). Unless you've walked the same mile in the same shoes, you just don't know and the implications that my bond is different or somehow diminished is unfounded-I'm not hurt by it though because I know what I know.


very well said, I LOVED BFing but due to mastitis, had to stop after 2 weeks and was DEVASTATED and felt like a failure. I was so upset b/c i was afraid we wouldn't have the same bond that i felt when i was BFing. but i was wrong. Yes, it's different like many said, but i can honestly say in my opinion having done BF and FF, that the bond I have with my son was created by me, not my breast and not the bottle. It was me sitting with him on our rocker, singing to him, holding and cuddling him, memorizing every little part of him My BIL's are adopted so my MIL couldn't BF but she had such a bond with her them, the same as her kind of bond she had with my DH, who is her biological child. We make the bonds with our children, whether you FF, BF, your adopted , or a biological child, etc

Message edited 6/18/2009 1:45:19 PM.

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Posted by JTK

for me i like the convenience of it.. i hate preparing bottles and worrying if i have enough formula while i'm out.
Of course i am a NICU nurse and teach breastfeeding, how to and the benefits of it so it's drilled into my head that breast is best
I like the immunities and antibodies it provides for the baby
I don't really find the weight loss thing to be true although i always hope it will be.
I love the way the baby looks up at me while he's feeding

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

quite honestly it DOES hurt when people talk about the special bond BFing provides.

I agree- BM is healthier, provides antibodies, is easier to digest and helps mom lose weight.

However, the bonding thing to me is load of BS honestly.

I BF my son- had a MAJOR struggle with it- he didn't latch until 6 weeks old. I pumped exclusively until then. Then when he finally latched I stopped at 5.5 months as I had to go on medication.

I didn't BF my daughter- I simply didn't have the time to put into it with a sixteen month old to take care of as well. I felt horribly guilty about it and the awful LC made me feel worse.

I'm GLAD I didn't nurse DD- I simply couldn't handle it- I HATE the LC for making me feel bad.

My bond with DD is just as strong and absolutely the SAME as my bond with DS and I only nursed her for three days.

My only regret is that I let the LC in the house and paid her good money for making me feel worse about my decision.

My bond with both children is the same- nursing didn't affect our bonds at all.

JMO.

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Posted by Goobster

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by Cakes

ok while I personally agree that it's the best nutrition for your baby -can someone explain to me how it's a bond like no other?

This is the part I don't understand. I have a bond with my children, had I BF'ed them would the bond be different? The experience would be.... but the bond?

In what way? I'm totally being serious.....

I agree with the question.

I think very highly of women who BF however I think as mothers we bond with our children because they are our children. We created them and nourish them and love them.

Some may say women who don't breastfeed don't understand the bond because they didn't go through it.

I would counter, women who do breastfeed don't understand the bond (and implied limitations of said bond) between a non-breastfeeding mother and her DC because they have never experienced it (even when you wean your child, it's not the same. Your experience is influenced by the fact that you BF for several weeks/months/years).

The bond I have with my child is like no other because she is mine-not because of how I fed her.

I have to say I agree. Every woman has a bond with her baby simply b/c they carried them. HEck or not even. What about women who adopt a baby? Who is anyone to say they haven't bonded with their child?

I just don't see how anyone can judge another's bond with their baby. That's like saying ALL SAHMs have a better bond off the bat with their children for being their primary caretakers, when the reality is that is not true. Every mother-child situation is different.

Is it a sacrifice? Yes, I do believe that it is for many. But a better bond? You can BF and feel more bonded, or not. You can FF and feel more bonded or not. They are plenty of people who BF and don't care for it, but do it for $ reasons. So it's really how you FEEL about it, as opposed to a automatic guarantee of a "better bond".

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Posted by Goobster

Posted by casey31

quite honestly it DOES hurt when people talk about the special bond BFing provides.

I agree- BM is healthier, provides antibodies, is easier to digest and helps mom lose weight.

However, the bonding thing to me is load of BS honestly.

I BF my son- had a MAJOR struggle with it- he didn't latch until 6 weeks old. I pumped exclusively until then. Then when he finally latched I stopped at 5.5 months as I had to go on medication.

I didn't BF my daughter- I simply didn't have the time to put into it with a sixteen month old to take care of as well. I felt horribly guilty about it and the awful LC made me feel worse.

I'm GLAD I didn't nurse DD- I simply couldn't handle it- I HATE the LC for making me feel bad.

My bond with DD is just as strong and absolutely the SAME as my bond with DS and I only nursed her for three days.

My only regret is that I let the LC in the house and paid her good money for making me feel worse about my decision.

My bond with both children is the same- nursing didn't affect our bonds at all.

JMO.

I am so sorry she made you feel that way. That's terrible. You definitely did the right thing, please don't have any regrets.

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

I didnt want to bf at first. my dh wanted me to so i said i would try. Now i couldnt think of not bfing. i love it and i totally have bonded with my dd and not to mention it is free and healthy for her.

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

For me, it was many reasons. It was something that I wanted to give my child- a part of me that would literally feed her. And while I could not give Jason the same amount of it I am happy that I was able to give him some BM.
whenever you write it is "best" formula moms feel slighted so I don't write that. Honestly, formula saved my son's life so how can I say "best" when he had no BM to drink? But I do believe in BFing and do promote it.

I do not believe it was a sacrifice to BF/pump for my daughter and son.
I have a bond with each of my children- one bio and one adopted. I believe you bond with a child because you hug them, kiss them, are responsible for them, put them to bed, read to them, etc..etc..etc...BFing is a beautiful thing a women can do for her children. I will never deny that. But the simple act of love is also something we all give to our children everyday.

Message edited 6/18/2009 3:44:42 PM.

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

Re: What was/is the main reason you chose to BF

I BF because it is the best thing for my DD and since I try to do the best for her in every aspect why not her nutrition. I feel like that is the natural way to nourish your child, long before formula was invented.
For me its not really about the bonding time, with my DD it is all about eating and then she is done.
I think I was successful because my Mom nursed 5 kids and was really supportive in helping me learn.