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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
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Me
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by MarisaK
Eh,I personally would not do that. And I'd honestly be a bit put off if I was expected to pay for myself - When you are invited to a Baptism, it's customary to bring a gift for the baby ........KWIM?
What if you just invite the Grandparents and Godparents out for lunch?
No one would fault you for keeping it very small.......
I think this is a great suggestion. Take the closest family and the god parents and keep it simple. Talk to your folks and see if maybe they will help with a nice smal brunch.
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Posted 2/19/09 10:41 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by Palebride
It would be rude. You can't invite people to a party and then tell them they have to pay...that's not a party.
If you don't have the money for a party, then just have the baptism. Invite family and friends to the church and explain there will be no party afterward. If people don't show to the church, they miss the event.
I'm sure people will understand why you can't afford any more than that.
If someone told me that they were having a party and we had to pay to go, I probably wouldn't go, personally.
Totally agree. You don't "have" to have a party after - coffee and cake at the church - like what some previous posters suggested - would be great too!
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| Posted 2/19/09 10:49 AM |
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Corinne
My munchkins
Member since 5/05 5010 total posts
Name:
corinne
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
why dont you hold off on the baptismal until your in a better situation? i can relate about money. my dh got laid off 2 months ago and i take care of my two children so money is tight. but if that is the situation can you wait until either a tax check comes or you have some form of income for your tickets and to at least supply cake and coffee afterwards.
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| Posted 2/19/09 10:52 AM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
I agree with others. I'd either take just the immediate family (grandparents, godparents, siblings) out to an affordable lunch...or do coffee & cake at someone's house for everyone.
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| Posted 2/19/09 10:54 AM |
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XcalystaX
Sooo Sleep Deprived....
Member since 7/06 2742 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by MrsRivera
Ok...I've decided not to do anything after the baptism. The whole reason we're having it in NY is so that our many friends and family can be there and finally meet the baby. But as I said, we really don't have any play as far as $ is concerned. We're actually wondering which bills are not going to get paid this month.
I know some of you might say "Well then why are you flying to NY in the first place?". We moved to NC so that we could afford to buy a house, but it still hurts to be away from the people that we love so much. It's very important to us that they be there for this special moment, as well as have some time to get to know DD.
Thanks everyone for your input.
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| Posted 2/19/09 10:54 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by MrsRivera
Ok...I've decided not to do anything after the baptism. The whole reason we're having it in NY is so that our many friends and family can be there and finally meet the baby. But as I said, we really don't have any play as far as $ is concerned. We're actually wondering which bills are not going to get paid this month.
I know some of you might say "Well then why are you flying to NY in the first place?". We moved to NC so that we could afford to buy a house, but it still hurts to be away from the people that we love so much. It's very important to us that they be there for this special moment, as well as have some time to get to know DD.
Thanks everyone for your input.
This is why I suggested that you have something small at your parents or IL's. Dont even call it a party. Like you said, people are going to want to see the baby anyhow. Where are you staying?
Have people come to wherever that is and get some heros, make some pasta and bring in a cake of some sort.
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| Posted 2/19/09 10:56 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by 08BabySurprise
Posted by Palebride
It would be rude. You can't invite people to a party and then tell them they have to pay...that's not a party.
If you don't have the money for a party, then just have the baptism. Invite family and friends to the church and explain there will be no party afterward. If people don't show to the church, they miss the event.
I'm sure people will understand why you can't afford any more than that.
If someone told me that they were having a party and we had to pay to go, I probably wouldn't go, personally.
Totally agree. You don't "have" to have a party after - coffee and cake at the church - like what some previous posters suggested - would be great too!
Great point. I am not catholic. Not sure what churches have but I am sure there is some type of room for cake and coffee...maybe??? Just a simple idea...
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| Posted 2/19/09 10:58 AM |
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
I agree that asking them to pay at a restaurant would be awkward. I would bake cookies and cakes and have them back to your parent's house. That way you can spend time with everyone and they can be with the baby.
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| Posted 2/19/09 11:01 AM |
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DmarieK
My loves!!
Member since 1/06 9203 total posts
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by MrsRivera
Ok...I've decided not to do anything after the baptism. The whole reason we're having it in NY is so that our many friends and family can be there and finally meet the baby. But as I said, we really don't have any play as far as $ is concerned. We're actually wondering which bills are not going to get paid this month.
I know some of you might say "Well then why are you flying to NY in the first place?". We moved to NC so that we could afford to buy a house, but it still hurts to be away from the people that we love so much. It's very important to us that they be there for this special moment, as well as have some time to get to know DD.
Thanks everyone for your input.
I totally understand why you want to fly to NY for everyone to meet your little girl. Don't feel bad for wanting to do that. Like PP's said I would try to see if someone would be willing to lend a house to have coffee and snacks. Even just so you guys can spend more time with family and friends.
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| Posted 2/19/09 11:07 AM |
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kaadf5
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/08 538 total posts
Name:
anna
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
I went to a party that was a "Tea Time" they had bagels, lil sandwichs and cookies. It was nice.
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| Posted 2/19/09 1:07 PM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by 3monkeys
yes, that would be very awkward, and times are tough for many now, so you may have many that would LOVE to be part of it and just cant afford to spend on the party.
and not just to say that someone cant afford "going out to eat" but going to a restaurant in groups, there can be an issue of dividing up the bill.
if someone chooses to have a small meal, and another chooses to order 2 bottles of good wine, will that be
divided "evenly" that would be totally awkward too. Ive seen this happen a few times where one person had to pay $50 for a salad and a drink because they split the bill at the end.
and this happened very recently for a bday party out. even though the bday person's family was NOT expected to pay for everyone (it was an adult's bday), those that had to pay $50pp for a burger were taken aback, because others that had drinks all night and the priciest steak on the menu "made out pretty well"... this is a topic that irks me, lol. (no offense to you)
if you cant afford it, just look into other options.
do you have space at home (or any family in NY that youre staying with?) to have something small ?
it will be special as long as your baby has family to spend the day with, regardless of whether its at a restaurant or a family member's home.
Anna I agree 100% with you...
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| Posted 2/19/09 1:18 PM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Posted by DmarieK
Posted by MrsRivera
Ok...I've decided not to do anything after the baptism. The whole reason we're having it in NY is so that our many friends and family can be there and finally meet the baby. But as I said, we really don't have any play as far as $ is concerned. We're actually wondering which bills are not going to get paid this month.
I know some of you might say "Well then why are you flying to NY in the first place?". We moved to NC so that we could afford to buy a house, but it still hurts to be away from the people that we love so much. It's very important to us that they be there for this special moment, as well as have some time to get to know DD.
Thanks everyone for your input.
I totally understand why you want to fly to NY for everyone to meet your little girl. Don't feel bad for wanting to do that.
I agree!!!
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| Posted 2/19/09 1:55 PM |
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Lizzy
Carson's Mama
Member since 2/08 2430 total posts
Name:
Elisabeth
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
Can you have a small get together at a family members house? I think we are going to have a brunch at my parents house after our baby's baptism because it is just so cost effective.
HTH!
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| Posted 2/19/09 2:17 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would this be rude? Baptism question...
definitely check into your churchs facilities.
our church services a very poor community, and I cannot tell you how many baptism parties are held in the basement every sunday.
coffee, cake, soda and a beautiful baby. it doesn't get much better than that.
you don't need a grand party to get people together.
a baptism is an important step in your baby's religious life, and as such, should be witnessed and enjoyed by all who love her.
good luck!!!!
and I hope you feel better soon!
ETA: forgive me for being presumptuous re: your last name, but in many latin/hispanic/spanish cultures, it is customary for the Padrinos to kick in cash towards the party. perhaps you can approach them about getting the cake and other things.
Message edited 2/19/2009 2:29:54 PM.
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| Posted 2/19/09 2:27 PM |
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