Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

maybe he is just scared because he doesn't see them as often. I would really try not to let it bother you too much, it's so hard but you can't help his reactions to people in general.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

I think people made really good suggestions. My DS is almost one and his main daycare provider is Jamaican and he adores her. She has taken care of him since he was 3 months. Now when we go out, he will only go to black women! It is hysterical. He went to my ILs church fair and there was only one black woman there and she was the only one he would go to! I think it is a phase, what he is familiar with at this point. I am sure it is embarassing for you b/c it is not reflective of his upbringing. I would do what people said - buy the dolls, books, watch shows with diverse individuals.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

I think this is definately not unusual behavior. Your child is just figuring out the world. My friends child used to cry for all people who were overweight. My own son went through that stage too. At that age I felt that it was just a matter of discovery. He was learning about peoples physical likenesses and differences. When he realized that African American people were just like us, he decided girls were the enemy. I am still working on that one.

To help him through it we talked about it honestly. I would say things like, "yes, that child's skin is dark and yours is light. I like them both. He is a child/person just like you. I wonder what his favorite toy is." In time he realized that people are different, and still the same, and still equal.

So funny, because the other day I heard him speaking to his neighbor friend. The other child said to him that he could not play a certain game because he was not in the same costume (they were dressing up). My son said, "But ______you have different eyes than me and I still play with you. " and then stated several examples of how they were different, but still good friends. I was so proud of my little guy (now 4) who not only recognized and accepted differences but was able to persuade his friend without mommy's help to play with him.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

My girlfriend's son was the same way for a while then he just grew out of it... It didn't last long and she didn't make a big deal out of it

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

What about watching Little Bill on Noggin? That features Bill Cosby as a cartoon child. I like that show a lot. I think the other posters are correct saying that exposure is what helps. But part of me wonders if something happened to him or he saw something and he is translating that into a fear?

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

I am sorry that I can't give you more advice but here is the little I have to offer...

I believe it is all about exposure. People in general fear what they don't know. I am a black woman and my husband is a white man. My husband is from VA and his little sister is 11 now. Last year my sil was so excited to be a part of our wedding she told her friends & teachers. She lost her very best friend b/c her brother was marrying a black girl. The child's father made lots of comments about our relationship and used choice words that hurt my sil. The truth is where he is from there isn't a black person in the town. Not one. The little girl loved me her father has never met me. I don't know if spending a day with me would have changed his personal beliefs but he would have learned that I am well educated, hold a Master's degree in Education, own 2 businesses and my own home, I do charitable works, attend mass and travel abroad extensively. Stereotypes can breed fear. People fear the unknown.

I grew up in a household where everyone was accepted and I was exposed to so many cultures, religions, etc. The funny thing is that I went to a Catholic elementary school & was the only black kid in the entire school! Maybe my parents compensated by exposing me to more things.

On the flip side, when dh was a teacher he worked in an all black elementary school in a low income area. The students there didn't know any other white people aside from teachers and cops. Thay had never been exposed to different cultures and would make fun of anyone different than themselves. Exposure is everything.

We just did a project in my preschool (this is too complex for your ds now) where we gave half the class brown eggs and the other 1/2 of class white eggs to show that even though we look different on the outside we are the same inside. Then the kids made scrambled eggs for breakfast. I had parents that spoke to me once their kids went home and told them and they were thankful. There is a great book called "We are all different, we are all alike."

Good luck with your ds he is adorable.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

I think he will grow out of it. I wouldn't do anything about it and I would just ignore it for now. I have the opposite "problem". My son is in love with black women - but to the point where if we are in a class that there is a black woman he will go and sit in front of her and just stare for a good ten minutes or so. Our nanny is from trinidad and he loves her. I think that might be part of the fascination. I personally find it funny but I am afraid that it seems weird to some of these women that this little blond haired, blue eyed boy can't take his eyes off them.

Anyway, i think your son is just afraid because they are different from what he is used to seeing at home, just like my son is fascinated because it isn't what he is used to seeing. eventually, they will be old enough to understand that the only difference is the color of the person's skin.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin

Don't make a big deal out of it with him. He'll grow out of it. in the meantime try to expose him to as much diversity as you can.

he's still the man.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

DS1 went through a phase like this...he was always very comfortable with strangers, was easy to smile, etc., but when we'd be around people of color he became very standoffish, wouldn't smile, just didn't seem to know what to make of it I think. I was so embarrassed but didn't really make a big deal out of it, and he grew out of it just fine. It lasted maybe six months.

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

aaww i'm sure this is just a phase. i agree with the coloring book idea etc... just continue exposing him to multicultural and i'm sure it will be fine. please dont be embarassed he's still little

Re: Please don't flame me. I'm very upset with something about Cailen lately

Posted by Bklyngrl

aaww i'm sure this is just a phase. i agree with the coloring book idea etc... just continue exposing him to multicultural and i'm sure it will be fine. please dont be embarassed he's still little