Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

Message edited 11/5/2008 8:30:41 AM.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

I expected nothing less from you....

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help. I know if I had read your post, I may have suggested the same things. I don't think your response had to be so "chaddy" and was somewhat, uncalled for. You did ask for suggestions and that is what she/he posted with.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help.

I have to agree. After reading your OP and then reading the cut and paste, I don't think her response was nearly as bad as you interpreted it to be. Though her suggestions may not be realistic in your life, they are for some and without knowing more details about your specific situation she's throwing out options. No malice IMO. I think your response may have been over the top.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by kahlua716

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help.

I have to agree. After reading your OP and then reading the cut and paste, I don't think her response was nearly as bad as you interpreted it to be. Though her suggestions may not be realistic in your life, they are for some and without knowing more details about your specific situation she's throwing out options. No malice IMO. I think your response may have been over the top.

I have to agree here...sorry

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by kahlua716

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help.

I have to agree. After reading your OP and then reading the cut and paste, I don't think her response was nearly as bad as you interpreted it to be. Though her suggestions may not be realistic in your life, they are for some and without knowing more details about your specific situation she's throwing out options. No malice IMO. I think your response may have been over the top.

I have to agree here...sorry

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Ok, seriously...1st line...
"why is a 19 month old up so late"...
C'mon right at the get go this person started an attack. Is this misinterpreted? I mean who questions someone elses parenting skills? And 8:30 is late? Really??? What time should an 18 month old go to bed 6?7?
There is a way to word your suggestions...this wasnt it...sorry.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Well- I agree, that line was idiotic. But when Liza is saying her life is too hectic...I don't think suggesting cutting back on work hours is so ridiculous. Or asking your husband for more help. Or hiring someone to help keep the house clean so that is one less burden. That women didn't know that they have to pay child support or what their financial situation is like.

I don't think going off on her was the way to handle the situation. Perhaps she could have explained that she needed to work those extra hours because they have to pay child support and have bills to pay.

Also- I think she was saying that if she put her son to bed earlier she could get some writing in. *I think that's what I read*.

She could've stated that better, though.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Her suggestions weren't bad, but the manner they were delivered in was ridiculous, and the suggestions are ones that presumably, you have already thought of and aren't acting upon for reasons of your own.

I would love to have a maid, but it's not happening. I would love it if DS slept another hour a day. Again, not happening. And I would love it if DH didn't have to leave at 7 and come home at 7:30 or 8, but he needs his job, and really doesn't work so long considering the commute.

It's nice to hear she is living a charmed life, but that doesn't help you.

Sorry, I really don't have many answers to your problem. One thing DH and I do is schedule time on the calendar for various projects we need to do around the house or professionally. We go through a month or two at a time, since our weekends fill up and this is when we do this stuff.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

OMG I love your response

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

See and I am going to say Lizas response was "Liza" and thats really not going to change. Gotta know her to love her... She is completely hysterical in the BS she spews. With that said, I realize everyone isnt going to know her but I also think it was no skin off her back by responding in such a manner. Personally, i think she thinks her response was hysterical as did I actually. Shes gotta know by now shes not getting anymore advice but I dont think she is looking for more. Like I said, the underlying tone of the responder was not at all positive.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help.

I have to agree. After reading your OP and then reading the cut and paste, I don't think her response was nearly as bad as you interpreted it to be. Though her suggestions may not be realistic in your life, they are for some and without knowing more details about your specific situation she's throwing out options. No malice IMO. I think your response may have been over the top.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help. I know if I had read your post, I may have suggested the same things. I don't think your response had to be so "chaddy" and was somewhat, uncalled for. You did ask for suggestions and that is what she/he posted with.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

You want an honest opinion?

I don't think the reply was that bad. I think it was intended to help. I know if I had read your post, I may have suggested the same things. I don't think your response had to be so "chaddy" and was somewhat, uncalled for. You did ask for suggestions and that is what she/he posted with.

I agree.

While opening with the line "why is a 19 month old up so late?" isn't the best way to go about things & probably put you on the defensive, she's right about the schedule thing & sleep begets sleep.

Also, you have complained on this board that Angelo isn't as helpful as you'd like him to be. While she doesn't know that, it's clear in your post that you are overwhelmed with responsibilities & could use help. (My husband works & does all of the cooking too, but that doesn't exempt him from other stuff that needs to get done.)

I think her message was lost - but she did have some good advice IMO (save for the Merry Maids option, but again she doesn't know your financial situation from your post - just that you're doing it all).

I also think your answer was uncalled for (sorry). You're new to the forum & while flip responses work over here, you've been with a lot of these women longer.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by lipglossjunky73


Eh - maybe, maybe not. I don't think i was over the top or out of line, but maybe a bit sensitive. I grapple with the fact that things are the way they are, and have to deal with things right now. But I guess in a forum entitled "Balancing career and life" I was not expecting judgement on why my son goes to sleep so late, and why my husband wasn't around more. I was looking for more time-saving issues, or someone to say - this is what worked for ME (not - this is what I think YOU need to do) if that makes sense.

To tell you the truth, I don't know why I had to go somewhere else to get people's opinions.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

I'm sorry you had such a negative experience on the forum (was it the Chronicle of Higher Ed?). Please know that not all professors are like that!!!!!!! We are nice people - I swear!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by lipglossjunky73


Eh - maybe, maybe not. I don't think i was over the top or out of line, but maybe a bit sensitive. I grapple with the fact that things are the way they are, and have to deal with things right now. But I guess in a forum entitled "Balancing career and life" I was not expecting judgement on why my son goes to sleep so late, and why my husband wasn't around more. I was looking for more time-saving issues, or someone to say - this is what worked for ME (not - this is what I think YOU need to do) if that makes sense.

To tell you the truth, I don't know why I had to go somewhere else to get people's opinions.

Liza, I know how hard it is to work and raise a family and try to get some time to do anything else. If I had some suggestions, I would give them to you.

I do have one thought - when does ds nap at daycare?

You could try to force one nap on him on the weekends. Make him have his own downtime.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mbrown131

Your response on the chronicle forums was very sarcastic, so maybe you lost some sympathy there. If you post for advice, expect you will not always get what you are looking for.

The other responses were uncalled for.....who the hell are these women or men to question when her child goes to bed, what her dh does or does not do, etc

I think your response was PERFECT Liza